


The Darkest Hour: Sacrifice

by Ithiel_Dragon



Series: The Hour is Darkest Just Before the Dawn [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe, Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Medical Experimentation, Past Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Romance, Star Trek: Into Darkness Spoilers, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-03-13 22:02:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 67,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3397886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ithiel_Dragon/pseuds/Ithiel_Dragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the run from Section 31 and with no allies to turn to, the Enterprise crew desperately tries to uncover the truth about the conspiracy within Starfleet before it is too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As always, big thanks to my beta [NurseDarry](http://archiveofourown.org/users/NurseDarry/pseuds/NurseDarry).

Jim felt like his heart was ready to explode inside his chest. His harsh ragged breathing and the pounding of blood in his ears was almost deafening. Every muscle in his body was on fire, burning from over-exertion and at the same time he felt unbearably cold. Even colder than he'd been marooned on Delta Vega. He couldn't stop trembling.

You're going into shock, a voice in his head, sounding suspiciously like Bones, informed him helpfully. God, what he wouldn't give for Bones to be here now... Even if the doctor would probably scream at him and call him all kinds of an idiot for getting himself into this mess, it would have been worth it. If he made it out of this alive, Jim would gladly accept any verbal abuse his friend decided to dish out. He wouldn't even complain once while Bones patched him up no matter how many times the doctor jabbed him in the neck with his damned hypos.

If he made it out of this alive...

It was starting to look like a pretty damned big if...

 _Keep moving. Just keep moving_ , the mantra in his head repeated over and over. If he stopped even for a moment to rest he was dead. No question. No matter how much it hurt, no matter how tired he was, no matter how impossible it seemed...he just had to keep moving. That's all he had to do...

Unfortunately, no matter how much he willed it, his body had other ideas. There was only so much abuse it could take and he had already been pushing himself harder and longer than he ever thought possible. Something had to give and it turned out to be his wounded leg.

Without warning it buckled, ripping a cry of pain from Jim's throat in spite of himself. The burning pain in his upper thigh that was already nearly unbearable changed into white-hot agony at the jarring motion. He clutched his thigh, the tourniquet wrapped above the wound had slowed down the flow of blood, but not by much. His trousers were completely soaked by this point. He was probably leaving a more-than-obvious trail of blood behind him as he ran, making it all too easy for their pursuers to track them.

"Get up!" The shouted command brooked no argument, demanding obedience, and Jim tried, he really did, but he just couldn't move his leg anymore. The younger man shook his head in denial, heard a growled curse and then he was being hauled none-too-gently back to his feet. He grit his teeth to keep from crying out again, but it wasn't enough to silence a small moan of misery he made instead. But there was no sympathy in the iron grip digging into his arm, the older man all but dragging Jim along and Jim stumbled to keep up. He didn't think he'd ever hated the man beside him more than in that moment.

"You're such a bastard," Jim muttered under his breath, almost too soft for himself to hear, but he was sure the other man heard him, given the snort of contempt he got in return. Then the other man all but threw them around the corner just as several phaser bolts whizzed past them so closely that Jim could actually smell the heated ozone in the air. The only reason why Jim was still on his feet at the moment was because he was being held pinned between the wall and the other man's strong body as he returned fire around the corner.

Jim heard the dying scream of one of their pursuers and almost smiled. They deserved it. He allowed his forehead to drop weakly down onto the other man's shoulder, enjoying the respite, as brief as he knew it would be, before he had to move again. All too soon the other man was pushing away from the wall and dragging Jim with him. Only Jim's legs refused to function any longer and he fell again. He knew he wouldn't be getting up this time.

"Go. Just go," Jim managed to croak out weakly before his companion could yell at him again. He couldn't run anymore, but if he was given the phaser he could probably still shoot. He could probably shoot well enough that he could buy the other man some time to maybe get away. If he left Jim behind...

The elder man stood frozen for a moment, staring down at Jim, and the captain could see him considering doing just that. Then, much to Jim's astonishment, he shook his head and hauled Jim up once more. Jim tried to protest, but between one second and the next the other man had lifted Jim over his shoulder. The sudden shift was almost enough to make Jim black out as what was left of his blood rushed to his head. The jarring motion his companion started running, carrying Jim like a sack of potatoes over his back, made him feel ill, but he swallowed back his feeling of nausea and just concentrated on holding on as best he could so he wouldn't hinder the man or bounce too much.

The star base was built like a fucking maze. Jim had lost track of where they were a long time ago, but the other man still seemed to know where he was going. If they could just make it back maybe they could beam out. Maybe...

More phaser fire erupted behind them and Jim was suddenly thrown forward. His vision went white as he hit the ground hard and slid several feet, ending up sprawled in a rather undignified heap. Somehow he managed to cling to consciousness, fear pushing through the dark haze that tried to reach up and strangle him. Finally his vision cleared enough that he could see his companion, also sprawled on the floor not too far away from him. The other man wasn't moving and Jim could see why. There was a large dark smoldering hole burned through the middle of the other man's back and a growing amount of blood soaking into the dark material of his shirt... A slowly growing pool of red began to form underneath him...

"No..." Jim moaned, trying to force his uncooperative body to move towards the other man. Their pursuers, knowing that they had won, were closing in fast now. Jim tried to crawl towards the phaser that the other man had dropped when he went down. If he could reach it, maybe he could at least take a few of the bastards down with them.

Before he could touch it though, the phaser was kicked away and a boot roughly came down on Jim's hand, breaking several bones and making him cry out again. Laughter followed and the booted foot ground down harder on his hand. Jim gritted his teeth, refusing to give them the pleasure of further sounds of distress. Jim glanced over at the other man lying on the floor. He still hadn't moved. Was he even alive?

"Khan..." Jim whispered and then moaned in spite of himself when he was kicked in the stomach and roughly forced onto his back. A boot on his chest made it hard to breathe and kept him from moving. He looked up at the men surrounding him. One of them had a phaser pointed directly at his face.

This was all Jim's fault. If he'd only listened...

_"... you're going to get yourself and everyone under your command killed."_

Pike's words came back to him and Jim almost choked on the sob that welled up in his throat.

Jim closed his eyes, waiting for the shot that would end his life.

* * *

[Three weeks earlier]

"Your move, Captain."

Jim flashed a scowl at the other man briefly before he resumed glaring at the tri-dimensional chess board in front of him.

"Captain..."

"Shut up. I heard you the first time," Jim snapped. The smug bastard was really starting to get on the younger man's nerves. The unmistakable gloating was bad enough, but every time the other man called him 'captain' now...

Where before, his title had been used as practically an insult, the deep sensual tone Khan had recently adopted when saying it turned it into almost a caress that sent delicious shivers down Jim's spine. Jim had no doubt that Khan's voice, especially when he used that particular deep baritone, could get a blind man off, and Jim was far from blind. He shifted in his seat, all too aware of Khan's eyes on him, practically scorching in their intensity. He knew the bastard was doing it on purpose. It was a game Khan had been playing with him ever since that day Jim had walked in on Khan exercising, practically half-naked, and Jim couldn't deny he'd liked what he saw. He was only human, after all, and definitely not blind.

Jim honestly wasn't sure what to think of it all. Mostly it was a nuisance. He suspected Khan was doing it mostly in an attempt to make him uncomfortable. It didn't work. At least, not other than the occasional physical sense when Jim tried to ignore an unexpected erection. Which he couldn't really be blamed for. It had been quite a while now after all since he'd been with anyone.

But he certainly had no plans on doing anything about it. Not least of all for the reason that it would be highly immoral given the man's status as a prisoner and under Kirk's protection and all that. It was Khan. Much of Jim's anger at the man might have dissipated after everything that had happened, and after learning just what Khan had gone through which had pushed him to his actions. But that certainly didn't excuse what Khan had done. Despite Bones' opinion otherwise, Jim was capable of thinking with his 'upstairs brain', and even though he could admit that Khan was attractive didn't mean he would ever act on it.

Surely Khan knew that, so his aim must be to simply be as annoying as possible. Or he was trying to distract Jim, which he was sad to admit, it was pretty effective at doing. Jim frowned as he attempted to focus on the chess board in front of him once more, ignoring the other man's all too knowing gaze following his every move on the other side of the barrier.

He was really beginning to hate this game.

It had been nearly a week since they'd left New Vulcan. Khan had given them coordinates to several locations that he knew Section 31 had in the past used as a base of operations, and they were still trying to gather as much information about the locations as they could before determining if any of them could be infiltrated. Jim knew time was of the essence, but he also knew they were only going to get one shot at this and he didn't want to go into anything half-cocked.

The _Va'khen_ was currently orbiting a small moon of an uninhabited planet, the rings of which Spock had reassured him would render the Vulcan ship undetectable should any Starfleet vessels pass nearby. Uhura spent most of her time on the bridge when she wasn't resting, monitoring Starfleet frequencies. Spock and Chekov were busy gathering information about each coordinate, which basically left the rest of them with the responsibility of babysitting Khan.

Jim still didn't really trust the man enough to leave him alone without any supervision for extended periods of time. So they all took shifts guarding him in the brig when they weren't busy with other tasks. One day, out of sheer boredom (or maybe to give Khan something else to do other than stare at him the entire time), Jim had brought a tri-dimensional chess board to the brig.

He was beginning to consider it one of the biggest mistakes he'd ever made.

In all honesty, Jim had been surprised at first when Khan had agreed to play . The man was always abrasive at the best of times. But he must have caught him in the right mood, or Khan was just as bored as Jim was, because the man didn't even mock Jim once for his offer to teach him to play. He simply agreed and Jim set up the board, a little stunned, while he explained the rules.

At first Jim had a distinct advantage having played the game for years. Not surprisingly though, Khan caught on fast and Jim couldn't deny he was impressed. The man really was a brilliant tactician, even though he seemed to have a little trouble at first thinking three dimensionally. Soon he was giving Jim a run for his money. They played almost every time Jim came to the brig now, Jim grumbling half the time he moved Khan's pieces or levels for him, while Khan sat on the other side of the barrier looking all too smug as he completely trounced the younger man.

Jim had really thought he had the older man a few moves back. Now it looked as though he would need to chalk this one up as another loss, much to his displeasure, unless he managed to pull a miracle out of thin air... So much for not believing in no-win scenarios... Jim reached for one of his pieces with an air of resignation. He could already feel the other man gloating.

 _"Spock to Captain Kirk."_ Spock's voice over his communicator was a very welcome reprieve.

"Go ahead, Spock."

_"Captain. You are needed on the bridge immediately."_

"On my way," Jim answered, leaving his chess piece untouched. He flashed Khan an unapologetic grin, and bit back a laugh at the almost petulant look on the augment's face before the elder man quickly schooled his features into his normal impassive mask.

As he left the brig, Jim commed Bones to ask him to take his place for the time being, then rushed to the bridge. His heart began to pound a little in anticipation. Jim had never liked playing the waiting game and he hoped this meant that Spock had found something they could use. When he reached the bridge, Spock was standing next to Uhura's station and it was she who addressed him when he arrived.

"Captain, I've intercepted an urgent coded transmission from a Federation facility known as Cold Station 12." Uhura stated.

"Cold Station 12? Isn't that..." Jim turned to Spock for confirmation.

"Yes, Captain. One of the coordinates that Khan gave as a possible base of operations for Section 31 is this particular facility," Spock informed him.

"What's the transmission?" Jim asked, turning back to Uhura.

"It's a distress call, Captain."


	2. Chapter 2

"Good afternoon, Mr. Singh," Dr. Leonard McCoy commented professionally, though not exactly cheerfully, as he walked with an air of determination into the brig of the Vulcan ship.

As usual these days, the man behind the barrier of corundum-silicate glass did not even bother to look up from the data pad he was reading to glance at him when he entered, apparently content to ignore the doctor's existence as though he were insignificant. Leonard merely sighed and tried not to roll his eyes. For a three hundred-year-old warlord, the man could act very childish sometimes.

Leonard knew he shouldn't take it personally. The man treated virtually everyone that way with the exception of Spock, who the augmented human treated with barely-restrained hostility. Apparently the augment still hadn't forgiven the Vulcan's ruse making him believe his entire crew had been killed when the torpedoes blew on the _Vengeance_. Then there was how Khan reacted around Jim...and Leonard couldn't really put a name to that. Sometimes, most of the time actually, it was with the same contempt that the augment showed all other members of humanity. But then there were times Leonard thought he saw something else in Khan's eyes when he looked at Jim. If he didn't know better, he'd call it a grudging respect.

Whatever it was, despite the 'talking to' that Jim had insisted he'd given Khan before they'd left New Vulcan, it apparently wasn't enough to make the doctor's job any easier.

The man had barely been cooperative when he needed medical attention. Now that they were away from New Vulcan's medical facility, Khan had deemed himself perfectly fine, and was practically impossible to deal with. Unfortunately, Khan was anything but perfectly fine. The fact that his scans and blood tests still showed that the augment's cell regeneration rate was far below where it should be was something that he couldn't hide, no matter his outward appearance. Also, the fact that Khan still wasn't eating as much as he should be was a pretty good indication that he wasn't feeling as well as he pretended to be.

Leonard McCoy had plenty of experience dealing with stubborn patients, but even he was reaching a point where he was considering throwing in the towel. The idea made him very uncomfortable; it went against his every instinct as a doctor. But if Khan wouldn't let Leonard help him there wasn't much else he could do.

Praying that the man was in a bit more cooperative mood today, Leonard approached Khan's cell.

"We might as well get your check-up done now, before Jim comes back," The doctor said, keeping his tone light and professional as he set his medical kit down on the small table next to the cell. He nudged aside the chess board in the process. Looking at the game, Leonard shook his head slightly in amusement and still a bit mystified how Jim had managed to get the other man to play chess with him, of all things. Though Leonard wasn't sure which surprised him most - that Jim had made the initial offer, or that Khan had accepted. It was just one of the many contradictions in the way that Khan treated the captain, and no one else, that he could barely wrap his mind around. The doctor definitely couldn't see Khan sitting down with Spock for a simple game of chess, even though the half-Vulcan would probably give the augment more of a challenge.

Maybe he should ask Jim what his secret was, since Leonard had a hard enough time getting the augment to agree to a simple blood test these days. He took out his tricorder and fluid extractor, then approached the brig barrier. He easily made an opening in the malleable glass larger before addressing the man again.

"Please put your arm through the opening, Mr. Singh," he urged, then waited patiently for the other man to comply. Leonard had found one of the best ways to deal with the man was to behave as though Khan had already agreed to whatever he suggested, because getting the man to actually agree to it was damn near impossible.

Apparently today was not going to be one of those days.

"I thought I made myself clear, Doctor. I no longer require your assistance." Khan's voice was cool and emotionless and he had not yet looked up from his data pad. "I would have thought even a man or your limited intelligence would have understood what that meant by now."

"Since I'm the doctor, why don't we let me be the judge of whether you need medical assistance, hmm?" Leonard replied calmly, refusing to be baited. He reminded himself he didn't have to like all of his patients in order to treat them. That was a good thing in this case.

Leonard continued to stare at Khan, and Khan continued to ignore him. Finally the doctor gave a small sigh.

"You know, this brig allows me several options to render you unconscious if I have to in order to do my tests. But I'd rather not do that. So will you please cooperate and put your arm through the opening, Mr. Singh?" Leonard asked and Khan finally did look up at him at that. The man's face was a stony mask, giving nothing away, as he slowly stood and walked over to the barrier, pulling up the sleeve of his dark shirt as he did so.

Leonard gave a small nod and prepared the extractor while he waited for the other man to put his arm through the barrier. When Khan finally did so, Leonard placed the extractor against the skin of the man's inner arm. He was not prepared for the sudden violent movement of that arm, knocking the extractor out of his hand and grabbing the front of his shirt. With a strong yank, Khan effectively slammed Leonard's body against the glass, stunning the doctor more than a little. He couldn't help but stare at the other man with wide eyes as Khan brought their faces close together.

"As you can see, I am not as defenseless as I once was, Doctor. You would do well to remember that the next time you dare threaten me," Khan growled, his words all the more terrifying for how calm and controlled he seemed. Leonard knew that cold exterior was only a mask. But since Khan had only grabbed his shirt instead of his neck, Leonard forced himself to remain calm, frowning at the other man, but otherwise refusing to be intimidated.

"What are you so afraid of?" Leonard asked calmly, and there was a momentary flash of surprise on Khan's face before it was wiped away and replaced with anger.

"What?" Khan growled again, and despite the fact that he looked as though Leonard had just paid him the most grievous insult ever, Leonard knew he must have hit the mark.

"Like you said, you're not defenseless and I'm just a mere human. I probably couldn't stop you from killing me if you really wanted to. So, what are you so afraid of? I am not trying to hurt you, Khan. I'm trying to help you." As Leonard spoke several emotions flashed across Khan's face too fast for the doctor to read them, finally settling on rage. For a moment Leonard thought that Khan might actually take him up on his 'offer' and kill him, but instead the augment merely snarled viciously before releasing Leonard abruptly, turning, and stalking away from the glass barrier.

Leonard let out a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding and smoothed a hand down the front of his shirt. He watched the other man with a frown. Khan stood in the center of his cell, his back to him, and his posture so ridged he could have been carved from stone. He had no idea what was going through Khan's head right now, but Leonard had a feeling he should choose his next move very carefully.

"Khan..." he began, but Khan cut him off before he could say anything else.

"If you value your life at all, Doctor, you'll be silent." Khan's words were hard and unforgiving. Not a threat, a promise.

Leonard retrieved his tricorder and fluid extractor from the floor and returned them to his medical kit for the moment. Then he sat down in the chair which Jim had only recently vacated, and stared at the chess board in front of him so that he didn't have to look at Khan. He remembered his words to Jim, how close he believed Khan was to snapping and Leonard certainly did not want to be the one to make that happen. Pushing the man to endure Leonard's tests after the way he'd been abused probably wasn't doing anything to help the situation, but simply letting the man be wasn't an option either. Not when the augment could still be seriously ill despite his conviction otherwise.

He'd give Khan however long he needed to compose himself once more. It was definitely not a good sign that a man with such ridged control like Khan actually needed the time to regain it. Especially in front of Leonard. Not a good sign at all.

Leonard picked up one of the few chess pieces that Jim had managed to capture from Khan and examined it thoughtfully for a few minutes. A bishop. Leonard wasn't very good at the game and only agreed to play with Jim on rare occasions. He couldn't help but wonder, however, if the piece had been really won, or sacrificed by Khan in order to gain a tactical advantage. Maybe that's why Leonard had never really been good at the game. He didn't really believe in sacrificing for the greater good.

Remembering his words to Jim back at Starfleet Medical - god that seemed so long ago now, regarding Khan - that maybe the experiments on Khan could do some good before they locked the man away, made guilt flare up sharply in his chest. Of course that was before he had known what was actually happening to the man, and Leonard had still been very angry that Khan's actions had killed so many people, and almost killed Jim too. Still, he felt ashamed for even thinking such a thing, even though no one would have blamed him at the time. Sadly, no one would probably blame him for thinking it now.

Leonard glanced at Khan and winced. It was no wonder Khan still thought of him like the doctors and scientists who had done all those horrible things to him. His 'threat' not moments ago probably hadn't helped matters any either. He hadn't meant it as a threat, but he could see how Khan could see it that way. The man had been a helpless prisoner, tortured and treated like a lab experiment by butchers who dared call themselves doctors and scientists. Even a hint of being in such a helpless position again... With a small sigh Leonard decided he'd definitely earned whatever bruising Khan had given him just now, and even if the man had grabbed him by the neck instead, he probably would have deserved that too.

Somehow the doctor had to convince him that he was different if he wanted Khan to trust him enough to let him help him.

* * *

"All right, so what do we know about Cold Station 12?" Jim asked, turning to Spock expectantly.

"According to records, Cold Station 12 was once a top secret medical facility jointly operated by both Terrans and Denobulans. Its main purpose was the storage of hazardous viruses and pathogens for study. Its lesser-known function was the storage of over 1,800 frozen embryos of 20th century augments from the Eugenics Wars," Spock stated calmly, and Jim's eyes went wide, his mouth falling slightly agape.

"You're kidding me!" Jim finally managed. Spock merely raised an eyebrow, as though Jim might have offended him for even suggesting that Spock was capable of 'kidding'.

"No, Captain," the half-Vulcan stated simply before he continued with his explanation. "The facility was abandoned following the attempted theft of the embryos and the release of the pathogens stored aboard the facility. It was reported that the embryos were destroyed and the facility abandoned when decontamination procedures ultimately failed. If the distress call is indeed originating from the facility, it appears that the records are incorrect."

Jim snorted.

"Yeah, or deliberately falsified," he said with no small amount of disgust. Spock gave a small nod.

"That is also a possibility, Captain."

Jim sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

"This has got to be a trap," he finally said, almost to himself. Could they be any more obvious about it? Seriously? A distress signal out of the blue from a research facility that should have been abandoned decades ago? A facility with a history of not only viral research, but with ties to the augments as well? Jim had to admit, it was a nice touch and something that would be very difficult for Khan to ignore. The bait couldn't be any more obvious if they'd hung a damned sign on the front door saying, 'We're trying to trick you, come on inside.' Jim wasn't sure whether or not to feel insulted. Did they really expect him to fall for something like this?

"That possibility is highly probable, Captain," Spock agreed.

Then again, knowing what they knew about Section 31, the idea of them being this obvious was pretty unlikely. The facility was obviously not as abandoned as the records indicated. The fact that they had been deliberately falsified meant that some effort had gone into keeping the facility secret until now. Maybe there really had been some kind of emergency? The station had been originally designed for research on viruses and if Section 31 was designing bio-weapons... it would be the perfect place. Which meant, maybe, just maybe, the evidence they needed to blow the whole conspiracy open was right there for the taking.

Was it worth the risk?

Jim frowned deeply before finally turning to Uhura.

"Uhura, keep monitoring the signal. Let me know if anything changes. Spock, see if you can did up any more information on the facility. I'll be right back," he said, then quickly left the bridge, practically jogging back to the brig.

Bones was sitting in Jim' chair when he arrived, looking over something on a data pad. Khan was kneeling on the floor in the middle of his cell performing what looked like Vulcan meditation of all things. Bones looked up at Jim as he arrived, apparently surprised that he'd returned so soon.

"That was quick."

"Yeah. Can you give us a minute, Bones?" Jim asked, and the doctor seemed all too happy to comply, grabbing his medical kit as he got up. Jim raised an eyebrow at the older man's quick exit, a silent question. Had something happened? Bones merely shook his head, and Jim figured if it was serious then the doctor would tell him about it later. Jim waited until McCoy had gone before addressing Khan.

"Hey, I need to talk to you. What do you know about Cold Station 12?" Jim asked.

For a few moments Khan didn't respond, and when he did, he didn't even look at Jim. It made the younger man a little more concerned that something had indeed happened while he'd been away, but before he could begin questioning the augment about it, Khan finally answered.

"Why?"

"We just intercepted a distress call from the facility," Jim replied, and then went on to describe what they knew. Once he was finished, Khan stood gracefully from his kneeling position and turned to face Jim. His expression was incredulous.

"You are aware this is probably a trap. So why are you bothering me with it?" Khan asked with a frown. For some reason, Jim couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah, that's what I thought too. But then again, it's so damned obvious that maybe there's something to it after all. Besides, if it is a trap... Well, knowing there is a trap is the first step in evading it, right?" Jim answered. Khan didn't seem all that convinced.

"It is a foolish risk."

Maybe Khan was right; it was pretty damned risky. But it was also the only real lead they had right now. It could be exactly what they were looking for, and despite the risk, Jim was unwilling to simply dismiss it.

Jim walked over to the chess board that was still set up outside of Khan's cell. The pieces were still exactly where they'd been when Jim had left. He was nearly in checkmate and there wasn't much he could do about it. Still, defying no-win scenarios was his specialty, right?

"Yeah, it's pretty risky. But if it pays off..." Jim said, reaching for one of his pieces and moving it. It was a risky move, one that could definitely backfire on him. But at least it saved his king for a little while. He looked at Khan and saw the augment watching him with an unreadable expression.

"Are you telling me with your big super brain you couldn't come up with a plan?" Jim continued, and though Khan scowled at him there was definitely a new light in the older man's eyes at the challenge.


	3. Chapter 3

Khan wondered if Kirk would ever cease to surprise him.

Almost against his will, Khan's eyes drifted to the tri-dimensional chess board that had been set up just outside the barrier of his prison. Their game, all but forgotten when Kirk left the brig, once more intriguing for a different reason.

It was not dissimilar from the game that had been popular in his own time. The new rules and style of play however did make it more complex and interesting in of itself, and Kirk was surprisingly skilled at it. Of course the younger man was no match for his intellect and strategies once Khan adjusted to the differences, but surprisingly Khan found he enjoyed their games more than he would have expected.

To say he had been surprised when Kirk had brought the game and offered to play it with him the first time would have been an understatement. Sheer curiosity made him go along with it, which almost seemed to surprise Kirk as much as Kirk's offer had surprised him. Of course at first Khan had suspected some kind of ulterior motive. He did not know what Kirk was planning, but if Kirk did have an ulterior motive, he had not yet been able to discern it however. Their games had become a...welcome distraction from the otherwise monotony of his cell.

He could not deny that Kirk intrigued him. The boy was one contradiction after another.

Khan recalled their first meeting face-to-face, when the thrill of battle still sang in his veins and the blood of his enemies had not even begun to dry on the ground where it had spilled. He had just killed dozens of Klingons single-handedly and he had stood before Kirk, weaponless but far from defenseless. Kirk knew it as well as he did. Yet the young man had still attacked him without hesitation. At any moment Khan could have stopped it. Instead he stood still in the face of Kirk's fury until the younger man exhausted himself with it.

It was both a savage and pathetic display. Just one of the many contradictions that made up Kirk. The young man had fairly teamed with murderous anger towards him, and yet his conscience prevented him from seeking vengeance and simply killing Khan outright. Yet that strange sense of nobility that the younger man possessed which prevented him from handing Khan over to his own Starfleet Admiral, had not stopped Kirk from trying to use him and then betray him. At the same time, Kirk's hatred of him had not stopped the younger man from later seeking him out and rescuing him from the Starfleet scientists. Of course he knew the reasons behind Kirk's actions. Khan was, after all, a valuable source of information that Kirk wished to exploit. Kirk had readily admitted that and Khan actually respected the younger man for not attempting to lie to him about that fact. Yet, the younger man had not tried to force him to divulge his secrets when Khan had initially refused, which lent a little more credibility to the young captain.

He had repaid Kirk's assistance in rescuing him from his would-be kidnappers with the offer of his blood to heal the man and the Vulcan after their near-assassination, then giving Kirk the information he requested. Their temporary truce was a shaky one at best. They were using each other, it was as simple as that. Khan had information that Kirk needed, and at the moment Khan was willing to barter that information in exchange for the lives of his people.

But now there was something else. Something far less expected.

Kirk's unexpected sexual attraction towards him. Khan had noticed it immediately of course. He was far from blind, even if he had been a bit distracted by pain at the time. It had been petty, but satisfying, throwing that attraction back in the young man's face in an attempt to shame him. Only Kirk had not been shamed. Surprised, perhaps, but not shamed.

It was a game now. Much more intricate than their little chess matches. He would taunt the younger man. Nothing overly suggestive, just a slight change in the inflection of his voice was usually enough. Or sometimes Khan would allow his gaze to linger a little longer than was polite. It was quite amusing to watch the normally cocky young man squirm. But beyond being amusing, Khan also knew there were distinct advantages to being a very attractive example of the human species. It certainly wouldn't be the first time he had used sex in order to give him an advantage. Sex tended to make even intelligent men stupid, their minds clouded by desire and sentiment. Whether the same could be said for Kirk, who was actually above-level in intelligence despite what initial impressions suggested, yet another fascinating contradiction about the younger man, remained to be seen.

Yet here was Kirk now. Not simply asking him for information, but his assistance in actually formulating a plan. Khan could easily lead them straight to their doom if he wished. Was the younger man really so foolish as to trust so easily? Khan would be very disappointed if that was the case.

"You are asking me for advice?" Khan asked, his expression giving nothing away even though his tone was a little incredulous. Of course he was remembering he and Kirk's last...alliance...which had not ended well for either of them. Yet, here was Kirk again asking for his help.

Kirk frowned at him a little before answering.

"You have just as much at stake in this as any of us. We'll all have a better chance at getting what we want if we work together," Kirk reminded him, and the boy certainly had a point. It wasn't as though Khan would gain any advantage by betraying them now. For the moment. Khan could certainly respect Kirk's willingness to use any weapon at his disposal in order to ensure his task succeeded.

"Very well. Captain..." Khan replied, his tone for once not mocking or taunting. Now was not the time for games. Already his mind was racing, examining and discarding various scenarios. They didn't have much in the way of information or resources and that certainly made things more difficult... Risky...but not impossible. It would all depend on just how much Kirk was willing to put on the line in order to achieve his goal.

* * *

"I am unconvinced that this is a wise course of action, Captain," Spock stated once Jim had finished telling the assembled crew members his plan for infiltrating Cold Station 12. Spock had not been the only one to voice his concern. In fact, Dr. McCoy had been the most vocal so far against the proposed plan. But it was Spock who Jim finally addressed once the small commotion had died down.

"Look, I never said it wouldn't be risky," the young human stated matter-of-factly. Spock decided not to point out that the term 'risky' was hardly adequate to describe the nature of this plan. "But right now it's the only lead we've got, risky or not, we've got to check it out. We're getting nowhere."

The captain certainly had a point regarding their lack of progress so far. Since learning about the possibility of continued corruption within Starfleet they had done little more than confirm that a conspiracy was indeed taking place. Though they had a more information than when they started, the involvement of Section 31, the possible production of bio-weapons, and their adversary's possible goals thanks to Khan, they were still no closer to finding out exactly who in Starfleet was behind the conspiracy nor did they have the means of stopping them. Still, Spock was not convinced that their previous lack of progress necessitated a plan this dangerous with so little guarantee of payoff.

However, Spock did wonder if his misgivings were only due to the nature of the plan itself, or because Khan had a hand in creating it. There was no doubt that Khan was a brilliant tactician. The plan itself was ingenious despite the danger. And given how their last alliance with the augment had ended...

_I'm not aligning with him, I'm using him._

Those had been Jim's answer to Spock's concerns about trusting Khan before. Those concerns had proven to be valid, and his opinion had not changed. Though it was a possibility that their previous experiences were clouding his judgement. Was it possible that his...feelings...were getting in the way of making a logical decision regarding the plan?

Still, it was his duty to support his captain's decisions, especially in front of the rest of the crew members.

"If all goes according to the plan, the chance of success is highly probable," Spock forced himself to admit and Jim beamed at him.

"That's the spirit," Jim stated. Spock wasn't sure if Jim heard Dr. McCoy's grumbling under his breath of _'Yeah, and how often do things ever go according to plan?'_ or not, but with his enhanced hearing it was impossible to miss. While Spock agreed that their plans did seem to deviate quite a bit on occasion, ultimately their success rate was much higher than logic would expect, given the fallibility of 'improvising', as Jim put it.

Still, none of them would be here if they didn't trust in Jim Kirk, and so they all listened while their captain reiterated the plan in more detail. Each crew member gave their opinion on various elements, sometimes suggesting alternatives based on their area of expertise. Once the plan had been finalized, they all returned to their posts. Dr. McCoy was still grumbling softly under his breath as he left, but he had not offered any more protest during the meeting itself. Finally Jim and Spock were alone together in the small conference room.

"What's on your mind, Spock?" Jim asked, and from his tone the half-Vulcan knew the younger man was asking as both his captain and his friend. Spock folded his arms behind his back and considered his words carefully before answering. However before Spock even opened his mouth, Jim was interrupting him.

"Let me guess, this has to do with Khan," Jim said, a hint of amusement coloring his tone.

"What makes you say that, Captain?" Spock asked, curious in spite of himself. Because, Jim was correct, his concerns certainly pertained to the augment. But he wasn't sure why the young man would be amused by this.

"Because every time you get ready to talk about him, you look like you've been sucking on lemons or something," Jim said with a small laugh. Spock raised an eyebrow but otherwise kept his face completely blank, which only seemed to amuse the young man more.

"Captain, I do not believe my concerns are unjustified," Spock said seriously.

"I didn't say they were." Jim replied, also serious now.

"And yet, you have involved Khan..." Spock stated flatly, leaving the implied _'when he can, and will, betray us again at any given time.'_ unspoken.

"Spock, can't you see, that's _why_ I involved him?" Jim asked and Spock's eyes narrowed a little in confusion.

"I do not understand, Captain."

"You're right. We can't trust him as far as we can throw him. He could turn on us again at any time, as soon as it's in his best interest. Right now, he's got no real choice but to help us, but what happens when he doesn't need us anymore?" Jim asked, and shook his head. Spock didn't answer, knowing the question was a rhetorical one. They both knew exactly what would happen. "So I'm trying to give him a reason not to turn on us when the time comes."

Both of Spock's eyebrows went up in surprise at that.

"You are trying to befriend Khan?" The half-Vulcan asked with no small amount of disbelief. Was this the reason Jim was spending so much time with the augment?

"Well, I wouldn't put it quite like that." Jim replied with a small laugh. "More like, mutual respect."

"That seems highly unlikely." Spock stated.

"I'm not too sure about that. Believe me, you don't have to remind me who and what he is. I haven't forgotten. But there were plenty of times he could have let me die and he didn't. He even saved you once. I don't think he's as cold-blooded as he'd like everyone to believe," Jim said with a small shrug.

Spock certainly didn't enjoy the reminder that he owed his life to the augmented human. He was also not convinced that Khan had offered his blood to heal both him and Jim because of any kind of altruism. More the reason Jim had stated before. Khan had needed them alive at the time far more than he wanted them dead. However as soon as that was no longer the case...

"Have you considered he may be trying to manipulate you, Captain?" Spock asked and Jim laughed again.

"Oh, I know for certain he is. But that doesn't mean I can't manipulate him right back," Jim replied with an impish grin that may have seemed out of place in the situation if it were anyone else. But this was simply part of Jim Kirk's nature. Jim had played with fire on more than one occasion and come out unscathed. Spock had hoped that his friend's recent brushes with death might have curbed some of the young man's reckless nature. Unfortunately that didn't seem to be the case, at least, in regards to putting _himself_ in danger.

"Jim..." Spock started, but Jim cut him off when the young man approached him and placed a warm hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, trust me on this, all right? I know what I'm doing," Jim said, giving Spock's shoulder a slight squeeze. Before Spock could answer, Jim's com beeped.

 _"Captain Kirk, you're needed on the bridge."_ Uhura's voice interrupted anything either man might have said.

"On my way, Lieutenant," Jim answered, giving Spock one last reassuring smile before the young man's hand slipped off his shoulder and he walked out of the room.

As Spock watched Jim leave, he couldn't help but recall Nyota's words to him when he'd confessed his anger towards Jim for continuously risking his life for others. Nyota had asked him if he were really angry at Jim for risking his life, as Spock was forced to admit it was something that Jim had always done. On occasion Spock even admired his friend for his selflessness. Or was it that he'd been angry at Jim because the young man had risked his life for _Khan_? An enemy rather than an ally or a friend.

As Spock felt the now-familiar bitter twist of fear and anger curling in his stomach, he knew he still had no answer for that question, even though it seemed a very important one. Meditation had not helped him understand his feelings before. Most likely it would not help him now, but having few other options, Spock made his way to his own quarters rather than following Jim to the bridge. If their mission was to succeed, he would need a mind clear of such conflicting emotions.


	4. Chapter 4

The insistent beeping of his communicator woke Jim Kirk from the deep sleep he'd only just managed to achieve a few hours ago. Groaning softly, the young man rolled over to grab the offending device. A quick glance to the chronometer on the table confirmed he'd been asleep for less than three hours.   
  
Stifling a yawn, Jim answered the communicator, knowing his crew wouldn't have woken him unless it was important.  
  
"Kirk here," he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.  
  
 _"Captain. You are needed on the bridge. There has been a development,"_ his first officer replied, sounding far more awake than was probably reasonable or healthy for this hour of the night. Still, the half-Vulcan's words were enough to start Jim's heart pumping with adrenaline, effectively waking the young man up far more quickly than a good cup of coffee. Though that would not be unwelcome right now, either.  
  
"On my way," Jim replied and quickly threw on his clothes before rushing out of his quarters. Hoping the late-night summons meant what he thought it did and all their planning was about to bear fruit.  
  
"Keptin on de bridge," his young navigator announced as Jim stepped off the turbolift. Jim spared a quick nod of greeting to his assembled crew on the bridge before turning to Spock.  
  
"Status report?" Jim asked his first officer.  
  
"We have detected a reply to the distress signal intercepted from Cold Station 12, Captain. Starfleet Emergency Rescue Vessel _Solace_ has responded and set a course for the facility as we speak," Spock informed him.  
  
This was it.  
  
"Perfect," Jim replied and turned to his pilot. "Mr. Sulu, set an intercept course for the _Solace_."  
  
"Aye, Captain. Setting course," Sulu replied and immediately went to work.  
  
Jim proceeded to com his chief engineer.  
  
"Mr. Scott. See that prepped escape pod is ready for launch," Jim ordered.  
  
"Aye, Captain."  
  
"How long before we can intercept?" Jim asked Sulu.  
  
"Approximately twenty minutes, Captain," The other man answered and Jim nodded again, grinning from ear to ear and doing his best not to bounce on the balls of his feet like an overexcited child. He did have an image to protect, after all, but it certainly was tempting.  
  
Given how dangerous what they were about to do could potentially be, maybe he was a bit more pleased by this news than was strictly considered normal. But after all this time running, feeling helpless and practically incompetent in the face of the odds against them, it was good to finally have a goal. To be doing something instead of waiting to see what happened. Simply waiting for the axe to fall was definitely not Jim Kirk's style.  
  
Hopefully, they would find the information they needed, get it to someone in Starfleet they could trust, and whatever Section 31 was planning would come crashing down before anyone else could get hurt. It could finally be over... The ugly stains tarnishing Starfleet would be exposed; it wouldn't be pretty, but necessary. It was the only way things would ever change. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but Jim had to believe that. He had to believe that after everything they'd all been through, it would be worth it in the end.  
  
"All right everyone, it's showtime."

* * *

  
"This has got to be the dumbest idea you've ever had." Bones removed his oxygen mask long enough to complain before fitting the mask back over his nose and mouth and taking a deep breath.  
  
"It has to look authentic," Jim reminded the good doctor, earning him a glare from the older man, but he couldn't really blame him. Being stuck in a damaged escape pod with very little remaining air wasn't exactly his idea of a good time either. Though it must be even less pleasant for Bones with his aviophobia. This had to be hell for the man, considering the first time he'd met Bones he'd barely managed to board a fully-functioning shuttle of his own free will. But the plan wasn't going to work unless they pulled off this ruse, and they weren't going to get another chance at this.  
  
"Spock?" Jim asked, squinting at the half-Vulcan in the dim light.  
  
"The emergency beacon is still operational, Captain. We should have contact in three minutes and twenty-five seconds. I suggest we conserve our oxygen as much as possible until that time," His first officer sounded calm, not that Jim really expected anything else. But even Jim couldn't deny he was feeling a little bit nervous, being stuck in the damaged escape pod and running out of air, even knowing that their ship was close enough to retrieve them should things not go according to plan.  
  
He, and apparently Bones as well, decided to take the Vulcan's advice nonetheless and remained quiet. The silence was finally broken almost exactly three minutes and thirty seconds later by the crackling of static over the escape pod's communications device.  
  
"This is Starfleet Emergency Rescue Vessel _Solace_ calling unidentified vessel. Do you require assistance? Over?"  
  
Jim grinned and even winked at his chief medical officer.  
  
"You're on, Bones," he whispered.  
  
The doctor frowned at him, still none too pleased by all of this, but it was certainly too late to back out now.  
  
"Starfleet Emergency Rescue Vessel _Solace_ , this Doctor Smith, crewmember aboard the civilian trade transport _Callisto_. Our ship was attacked by pirates and the crew forced to evacuate. We're the only ones who made it. Our escape pod was damaged and we're losing air fast. Request immediate beam up aboard your vessel," Bones implored, infusing just the right amount of panic into his voice that probably wasn't completely forced.  
  
"Doctor Smith?" Jim whispered.  
  
"Shut up," Bones mumbled back as they waited, the three of them holding their breath for a different reason now.  
  
"Request granted. Standby, Doctor Smith."  
  
Bones quickly reached into his medical bag and pulled out a hypo with which he quickly injected first Spock and then Jim.  
  
"Sweet dreams," was the last thing Jim heard. He blearily watched Bones inject himself with a dose from the hypo before he blacked out.

* * *

  
When Jim opened his eyes again, the familiar sight of a Starfleet medical bay ceiling swam into focus. It was a welcome sight to say the least. A few moments later, a pretty Denobulan female moved into his field of vision, smiling kindly down at him.  
  
"Hello. I am Nurse Forlisa. You are safe aboard Starfleet Emergency Vessel _Solace_ ," the woman offered as she checked Jim's vitals. Since he wasn't strapped down or in the brig, he assumed the forged credentials that he, Bones, and Spock had brought along had worked. Jim spared a quick glance around the medbay and confirmed that Bones and Spock were there as well. Still unconscious by the looks of it.  
  
"What happened?" Jim asked, playing along, submitting meekly to the woman's various tests.  
  
"We came across your escape pod and beamed you and your crewmembers aboard. I am sorry, but we found no other signs of your crew or ship," she explained and Jim's small shudder wasn't completely forced. Even though it had all been staged, being crammed inside a damaged escape pod certainly wasn't his idea of a good time. He definitely didn't want to have to go through that ever again.  
  
"My companions?" he asked, glancing again at the two unconscious men.  
  
"Doing well," she reassured him, gently patting his arm. "The ship is inbound to another Starfleet facility in answer to a distress call, but after that, you will be taken to the nearest starbase. You should get some more rest."  
  
Jim offered the woman a grateful smile and a nod as he started to lie down again. So far, so good.

* * *

  
It had all been going so smoothly. Maybe in hindsight that should have been the first clue that something was going to go wrong.  
  
"Jim, come take a look at this," Bones said from his position by one of the medbay terminals aboard the _Solace_. Jim rose from his bed and stood looking over the doctor's shoulder. For the moment the medbay was clear of all medical staff. Most of them were getting ready to board Cold Station 12 once they'd finished docking.  
  
"What is it?" Jim asked as he looked at the screen that the doctor had indicated.  
  
"Transmissions sent from Cold Station 12 when the _Solace_ responded to the distress signal. Something about a biological contamination hazard. Suggested quarantine procedures. Evacuation protocol. This is real Jim. Whatever is going on..." Bones explained and Jim cursed softly under his breath.  
  
This would certainly make things more difficult. When they first intercepted the distress call he'd been sure it was some kind of trap. It didn't really change much as far as their plan was concerned. But given the history of the space station and its suspected new uses, Jim couldn't say he was all that thrilled with the idea of walking into the middle of biohazard, especially with his most recent brush with being infected with the Telurian plague. But just because there was a real emergency didn't change the fact that there could still be valuable information aboard the station, and they needed to find out one way or another. They'd come too far now to back out.  
  
"We'll stick to the plan. We'll have to steal a few biohazard suits, obviously, but that might make it easier to blend with the crew once the _Solace_ docks..." Jim trailed off when he saw the disbelieving expression on the doctor's face. "What?"  
  
"This is serious, Jim! People could be dying!" Bones began but Jim cut him off before the doctor could go off on a tirade.  
  
"I know, Bones. But a lot more people could die if Section 31 gets away with what they're planning. Maybe this is all some big coincidence, but I doubt it. If there's information aboard that space station, we need to find it. We'll help if we can, but that's our first priority,."  
  
The doctor looked far from happy, but didn't argue.  
  
"It appears we are beginning to dock, Captain," Spock interjected and Jim nodded, stepping away from the doctor, though not before giving Bones a pat on the shoulder. He knew how hard this must be for the older man. His instincts as a doctor would be to help those in trouble, but they had to keep their objective in mind. The crew of the _Solace_ was probably more than capable of taking care of anyone who might be hurt anyway, that was their job, after all. Jim, Spock and Bones were just stowaways. And hopefully the crew would be too busy dealing with the emergency situation on the space station to keep track of their three unexpected passengers.

* * *

  
It had all gone easier than Jim suspected. Dressed in biohazard suits and posing as members of the _Solace's_ crew, the three of them easily managed to sneak aboard the space station.  
  
They broke off from the rest of the group at their first opportunity, though not before seeing the effects of whatever had been inadvertently let loose on the station's crew members. If this was what Section 31 had been working on...  
  
Jim shuddered.  
  
He could tell that Bones had wanted to stay and help the infected crew members, if that were even possible, but that wasn't what they were here for. Finding their way to the space station's main computer was rather simple after that. Again, everyone was apparently too concerned with the ongoing emergency to pay too much attention to anything else.  
  
Jim had only just managed to hack into the terminal when the floor suddenly shook beneath their feet. Alarms began to blare.  
  
"What the hell?!" yelled Bones.  
  
"Captain. Another starship has entered the vicinity and fired upon the _Solace_." Spock's calm tone in no way comforted his human companions as Jim and Bones rushed over to the monitor that the half-Vulcan was staring at. They were just in time to watch the emergency vessel disappear in an exploding ball of fire followed by another shock wave dangerously rocking the damaged space station.  
  
"Who the hell are they?!" The doctor's shout could barely be heard over the increasingly loud warning klaxons blaring around them.  
  
"I have a feeling they're the clean-up crew," Jim muttered darkly before the unmistakable sound of phaser fire erupted down the hallway followed by screaming.

* * *

  
Lieutenant Sulu sat in the captain's chair aboard the _Va'khen_. Once more the captain had left him in command, and as proud as he felt that Captain Kirk trusted him to take command in both his and Commander Spock's absence, at this moment he was almost regretting it.  
  
"Anything, Lieutenant Uhura?" Sulu asked for the third time in the past hour, even though he already knew the answer. Lieutenant Uhura had been closely monitoring all communications ever since the captain and their crew members had left the ship, and she would have already let him know the moment something had changed.  
  
"Still no word, Lieutenant Sulu," she responded, the same as the previous times he'd asked, however this time there was an unmistakable note of tension in her voice. Whether it was frustration at the repeated inquiries, or simple worry for their missing crew members, or both, he couldn't tell.  
  
He certainly couldn't blame her for being concerned. He was well past that stage himself because the deadline the captain had set to contact and retrieve them passed over two hours ago.   
  
Something had gone wrong.  
  
The turbolift opened and Sulu turned in surprise to see Chekov step onto the bridge. The young man was supposed to be in the brig keeping watch over Khan. Sulu hadn't particularly liked the idea of the teenager taking a turn at guarding their prisoner/guest, but there wasn't anyone else given their lack of personnel. He couldn't help feeling a small stab of panic in his chest seeing the boy here, long before he was supposed to be relieved. It could only mean something else had happened, and when it had to do with Khan, it could be nothing good.  
  
"What happened? Are you all right?" Sulu asked the young man with concern, already standing. The young ensign seemed unharmed but...  
  
"I am fine, sir. But he said he wanted to speak with you. About de Keptin," Chekov explained, looking unsure.   
  
Sulu nodded, both relieved and worried at the same time. "You can return to your station."  
  
"Thank you, sir," Chekov replied, handing him the phaser they had given the young man for protection, just in case. Sulu quickly made his way down to the brig.  
  
Khan sat on the bunk in his cell reading a datapad, as he usually was whenever Sulu had seen him. Though unlike most times, as soon as Sulu entered the brig, the augment's attention turned to him, acknowledging rather than dismissing his presence. Though the augment's eyes held nothing but contempt, even if the rest of his expression was passive.  
  
"Captain Hikaru Sulu," Khan addressed him mockingly, no doubt referring to the first time Sulu had threatened him on Kronos when they'd been sent to apprehend John Harrison. Sulu wasn't so easily baited however, and refused to show the slightest bit of unease as he stood in front of the barrier of Khan's cell.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
Khan slowly stood and approached him, coming to stand only a few inches away. If not for the barrier of corundum-silicate glass between them, Sulu could admit it would have been intimidating. Especially when Khan spoke.  
  
"If you want to see your captain alive again, I suggest you do exactly as I say." Khan's words sent a chill down Sulu's spine and enraged him at the same time. It was obvious that the bastard knew something they didn't.  
  
"What do you mean?" If possible, Sulu's words were even colder than Khan's, and the flicker of a smirk of the augment's lips did nothing to calm him.  
  
"By now, Section 31 will have sent operatives to contain the situation on Cold Station 12, and deal with any remaining witnesses. They do dislike loose ends. Though, if Kirk plays his cards right, they'll realize he, and perhaps the doctor and Vulcan as well, will be more useful to them alive. For the time being. I suggest we move quickly while we have that advantage."  
  
Hikaru always thought the expression 'seeing red' was just that, an expression. Because he'd never been enraged enough to know that it was in fact quite literal. Until now.  
  
"You knew this would happen?" Sulu was surprised that his voice still sounded so calm. "And you didn't warn them."  
  
"There was always a possibility. Come now, don't you have any faith in your Starfleet security measures?" Khan was definitely smirking now, and Sulu's hands curled into fists at his side. He turned and started to walk out of the brig. He certainly wasn't about to listen to anything else the augment had to say when he had most likely sent his friends to their deaths. But, could they blame anyone but themselves thinking they could trust Khan even the smallest amount?  
  
"Do you want your captain to die then, Mr. Sulu?" Khan's voice, no longer holding any hint of amusement, made Sulu stop in spite of himself.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"Let me out of this cell, then I will explain the rest," Khan stated.  
  
Sulu slowly turned to face the man again. After a moment, he gave the computer his access code to drop the barrier of the cell. Khan looked somewhat surprised. He probably hadn't expected Sulu to comply so readily. He obviously didn't expect it when Sulu suddenly punched him hard enough to make the tall augment stagger a little.  
  
Khan brought his fingers to his mouth and they came away red. For some reason, the augment seemed more concerned with that than the phaser Sulu suddenly had aimed at his face. It was not set to stun.  
  
"If they die, I'll kill you myself," Sulu stated calmly, and Khan's eyes finally focused on him once more.  
  
"Of course," he replied, spitting out a mouthful of blood before he started to explain his plan to Sulu.


	5. Chapter 5

Jim returned to consciousness practically choking on his next breath due to the sharp pain blooming in his side. Another blow to his exposed ribs made him curl instinctively in on himself in an attempt to protect his vulnerable organs. A weak groan of pain escaped his lips in spite of himself.

"Stop it, god damn it!"

The shout sounded like it came from far away, muffled by the painful pounding in his head and the sound of blood rushing in his ears, but Jim could still recognize the concerned and angry voice of his chief medical officer. Bones... That meant the older man was still alive at least. Relief washed through Jim even as another sharp kick, this time to his kidneys made him gasp sharply as he arched away from the intense pain in his back.

In spite of the pain, he forced his eyes open, blinking away the blood that had dripped in his face from the gash over his left eye. The image of the doctor crouched beside Jim's first officer swam in and out of focus. Jim could see the doctor's hands were covered in green blood and it made Jim feel ill, a horrible feeling of deja'vu sweeping through him remembering when his own hands had been soaked with his old friend's blood. Jim had been so certain that the elder Spock was going to die in his arms that night and there was nothing he could do to stop it...

Now it felt like it was happening all over again.

Despite his injury, Spock was still conscious. Jim could see that at least Bones had managed to get some bandages around the half-Vulcan's midsection where he'd been shot. Hopefully it meant that his friend was not bleeding to death where he lay, though the way Spock was struggling against the doctor's hands couldn't be doing his wounds any good. Jim didn't think he'd ever seen Spock so angry before, and that included when Spock had almost tried to strangle him. The fact that the doctor was able to hold Spock down was a little worrying, but he was glad for it at the moment. Jim didn't want his friends attempting to help him and end up getting shot again for the trouble. It wasn't worth it.

Both of his friends were still alive. That was all that mattered to Jim right now.

"That's enough," a calm, almost bored, voice stated close to Jim and mercifully the blows stopped. Jim didn't move, he didn't think he could. At least not beyond the gasping and trembling he was already doing. There was the sound of footsteps and finally a pair of boots stood in front of him, blocking Jim's view of his friends. Jim didn't bother to look up at the man 'interrogating' them.

"This stops whenever you want it to, Captain Kirk." The man in front of him crouched down.

Jim gritted his teeth, glaring up at the man he didn't recognize but who apparently knew him. At least by reputation. That wasn't much of a surprise, given Jim's celebrity status after the Nero incident and of course the events surrounding _Vengeance_. Sometimes fame was pretty inconvenient actually, like now. Then again, it was probably the only reason they were still alive.

"You murdered all those people..." Jim hissed accusingly. They had seen them do it. The people aboard the space station who'd been exposed, the medical personnel from the Solace, shot in cold blood. Killed, simply because they had seen too much. They hadn't even been armed.

Jim, Spock, and Bones were the only ones who'd been armed. That was probably how they'd known the three of them were not a part of the Solace's crew. In the end, it hadn't mattered much; there had been no way to mount a proper defense, and after Spock had been shot, Jim had little choice but to surrender. The phaser wound aside, the Vulcan's biohazard suit had been compromised. They needed to get him into a quarantined area immediately or risk Spock being infected like the others they'd seen.

"Collateral damage, I'm afraid," the man replied without a hint of remorse, as though Jim needed any more proof that there was no way they were getting out of this alive, even if Jim did tell them what they wanted to know. "But, there are fates far worse than death. You should know that by now. Tell me why you are here, Captain Kirk. Tell me who else knows...and then tell me where he is. Do that, and perhaps I'll allow them to die quickly and painlessly." The man nodded over his shoulder towards Jim's friends, as though the young man needed clarification.

Jim's jaw clenched so hard his teeth ached. There was nothing he could do. If he gave in and told them what they wanted to know, Bones and Spock would die. But if he didn't...

"Very well," the man sighed, almost sounding bored, as he stood up once more and gestured to Bones. "He's next."

"No!" Jim shouted, struggling to rise, and failing when another sharp kick to his stomach made him double over again. A rifle pressed against his head kept him down, and he could only watch as Bones was dragged away from Spock, the half-Vulcan being knocked out in the process. The older man's curses and struggles were quickly subdued by an unforgiving blow to his gut that brought the doctor to his knees.

* * *

 

When Kirk had originally come to him asking his opinion regarding Cold Station 12, Khan decided there were three possible outcomes.

One, the most likely, was that the whole scenario was a poorly-designed trap of some kind meant to draw him, or Kirk, or anyone else who might be aware of Section 31's plans out into the open. If that were the case, whoever was laying the trap was probably incompetent and/or desperate. Infiltration would be risky though not impossible, and would most likely provide no useful information in the end. If Kirk chose to take that risk, however, that was his choice.

The second possible outcome was that the emergency distress signal was genuine, and completely unrelated to Section 31's activities. In which case, there would be virtually no danger to infiltrate and also a complete waste of time and resources.

The third, and least likely but also far more intriguing possibility was that the Cold Station 12 was, in fact, being used by Section 31 in some capacity. The distress signal was probably genuine, and those who had sent it were foolish to do so. Any information aboard the research station would be highly valuable and Section 31 wouldn't risk outsiders catching a glimpse of it. They would eventually come to investigate, and they would need to eliminate any possible security threats.

When he realized that Kirk was far overdue in returning to the ship following the planned mission, Khan became intrigued. Like he told Lieutenant Sulu, he'd known this outcome had been a possibility, a highly unlikely one, but one he certainly was not going to waste. Khan had planned for each possible outcome, and now they needed to move fast to set the next phase in motion before they missed their chance.

He had been a bit surprised when the lieutenant agreed to release him from the brig so easily, the punch Sulu had thrown at Khan notwithstanding. But he also knew the threat against the captain, doctor, and Vulcan had been the greatest motivator in releasing Khan and agreeing to his plan (having no ideas of his own). Khan had counted on that.

As soon as the turbolift doors opened to the bridge all eyes turned to him and a stunned silence followed, though it was quickly broken.

"What the hell is he doing here?!" Mr. Scott shouted as Khan strode onto the bridge as though he owned it.

"If you want to see your captain and crew members alive again, I suggest you not waste time and do exactly as I say." Khan's calm words cut off any other protests at his presence before they could begin. As he'd counted on, the promise of rescuing their endangered crew members would motivate the rest to obey his commands. Though, all eyes had initially moved to Sulu for confirmation, and the man gave a grudging nod before attention returned to Khan.

"Set a course for Cold Station 12. They will be expecting a rescue attempt of the captain and we will give them one. As soon as we arrive, fire on any ships present. Get as close to the station as you can. Wait until they've returned fire a few times, don't risk the shield integrity but make it look good, then retreat. Set course for the nearest nebula and wait inside. When they leave..."

"Are you crazy?! How in the hell do you know if they'll leave! If they follow us into the nebula, we'll be sitting ducks..." Mr. Scott started to protest, but Khan cut him off as though he'd never spoken.

"When they leave, wait ten minutes, and then return to the station." Khan finished giving his orders with practiced ease, and then pointed to Sulu and Uhura. "You two, come with me."

"Sir?" Chekov addressed Sulu hesitantly.

"Do what he says," the man replied. Uhura and Sulu followed Khan back into the turbolift.

"Where are we going?" Uhura questioned Sulu rather than Khan, not that the augment particularly cared, as long as they obeyed him in the end.

"We need to put on some space suits. We're going to rescue the Captain," Sulu replied. Khan barely stopped himself from expressing his contempt. Short-sighted fools. Khan was more concerned with getting onto the research station and retrieving the information there before it could be removed or destroyed. If Section 31 was going through all this trouble to keep whatever was happening aboard the facility a secret, there must be information about their plans, the biological weapons, or even about his own crew there for the taking, if they were quick enough. Rescuing Captain Kirk and the others was of secondary importance in his opinion, though the others did not need to know that.

* * *

 

It was a rather ingenious design, hiding a research facility within an asteroid amongst others. Most ships steered clear of the belt, knowing the danger even small asteroids could present to starships. It was also foolish. Being surrounded by so much rock and other debris constantly made sensors unreliable at best. They could detect something about the size of a shuttle entering the area easily enough, but anything smaller would be very difficult to distinguish from the rest of the debris.

As soon as the _Va'khen_ came out of warp near the space station, they began firing on the nearby ship as Khan instructed. The other ship immediately began to return fire, neither ship doing much damage to the other at first. But after a few direct hits that weakened the _Va'khen's_ shields, the ship began to retreat. The other ship began their pursuit and soon both ships were gone.

The three humans who'd stayed behind, taking cover near one of the larger asteroids close to the station went completely undetected. Using the space suits' small thrusters, the three quickly made their way to the research station to an emergency airlock.

"How are we going to get inside?" Sulu questioned Khan, as though it had just occurred to the man they didn't have the access codes needed to enter the facility. Khan didn't bother answering, simply punched several codes into the terminal and the airlock opened for them easily.

"How...?"

"How do you think I managed to smuggle my crew into those torpedoes under Marcus' surveillance?" Khan returned sharply, refusing to elaborate. He had certainly not been idle when he'd been imprisoned by the insane admiral. Every moment he was not under direct scrutiny, he'd gathered and memorized as much information as he possibly could about Starfleet security measures, including thousands of secret access codes to various facilities.

Once they were inside the facility, Khan instructed them not to remove their helmets. Uhura gasped when she saw the reason why. There were bodies everywhere. Many of them had died of phaser wounds, but many others that had obviously died from something else; their skin was covered with strange oozing abscesses, blood pouring from their eyes, nose, ears, and mouths. Khan nudged one body with his foot and the skin immediately split from the slightest pressure, a bloody black mess spilling out onto the floor. It was as though their insides had been completely liquefied. Khan heard the others gagging through the speakers in their space suits.

"Most of the opposition should have returned to their ship to chase the Vulcan vessel. Any that remained will be in areas that have remained uncontaminated..." Khan moved to a nearby terminal and within seconds had pulled up schematics of the research facility. He pointed to an area of the space station not far from where they were. "Here. Go find the captain. If you encounter any resistance, I suggest you shoot to kill."

Khan started walking in the opposite direction, and he couldn't say he was surprised when Sulu stopped him with a hand on his arm. Khan's glare was enough to make the man hesitate however, and the augment pulled away from the loosened hold.

"Where the hell are you going?!" Sulu persisted, even though he didn't touch Khan again. If nothing else, the man was no coward.

"To get what we came here for," was the only answer Khan gave before he took off down the corridor.

Sulu almost started to follow him, but Uhura stopped him.

"Let him go. We have to find the captain and the others," she insisted and Sulu nodded. They would find Khan again; he couldn't get very far without a starship.

* * *

 

"It seems your crew has abandoned you, Captain Kirk." The man interrogating them sounded almost disappointed by the news as he put away his communicator.

Jim refused to reply. If the man was hoping to demoralize him by trying to make him think his crew had left him, he would be disappointed. He didn't know Jim's crew. Whatever that hit-and-run tactic had been about, Jim had to hope it meant something. A sign maybe? A distraction? Whatever it was, it had at least successfully thinned their captors' numbers, as several of the men who'd been busy torturing them had left to deal with the threat.

"Let's try something different," the man said almost conversationally, and spoke quietly to the few remaining soldiers at his command. The men immediately moved to grab both Spock and Bones, both of whom, by this point, were badly beaten and nearly unconscious, and dragged them away from Jim to a different portion of the lab. The man moved to a terminal and activated a quarantine field around Jim's friends and Jim's stomach began to twist even before the man explained his intentions.

"Since you've gone through all this to get here, Captain, how about a small demonstration? I'm sure you'll find it quite enlightening. You've seen some of the results already. I have to say, I'm curious how this new virus will react on a Vulcan," the man taunted, and the worst part was, he did sound genuinely curious. Jim felt sick.

"No!" Jim cried out, forcing his abused body to move. He only managed to get to his knees before a rifle butt to the back of his head brought him back down again and he saw stars. "I'll tell you what you want to know. Please..."

He had to stall. Somehow. He had to hope...

The man moved away from the terminal.

* * *

 

Khan made quick time to the research station's control room. The first guard he came across he snuck up behind without the man noticing. He easily broke the man's neck. Khan dropped the dead man at his feet, pausing only long enough to retrieve the fallen plasma rifle before continuing on. Taking out five more guards on his way there was even easier.

When he reached the control room, he shot two of the three men there in the head, the last one he shot in the leg. The man went down screaming, clutching his burned thigh.

"Shut up," Khan ordered, raising the rifle to point at the man's head in a silent threat. The man gritted his teeth and didn't make another sound as Khan moved to the large computer terminal. He could see they had been in the process of tampering with the computer files, he could only hope they hadn't gotten very far.

Khan typed his access codes into the computer and was pleased to discover the information was intact. In fact, it seemed they'd only gotten so far as backing some of the encrypted information onto portable data cards. Khan inserted several more data cards and instructed the computer to back up everything. They'd sort through it and figure out which was the relevant information later.

Leaving the computer for the moment to work, Khan turned to the man he'd left alive and approached him slowly. The man began to back away as best he could with his wounded leg, but couldn't get very far. He eventually backed into a wall and Khan crouched down in front of him.

"You know who I am." It was not a question, and the man nodded hesitantly. Khan's smile was cold and dangerous. "Then you know what I can do to you if you lie to me."

Khan reached out to grab the man by the front of his biohazard suit and dragged him closer.

"Tell me what you know about the augments. Where is my crew?"

* * *

 

Sulu and Uhura rushed through the corridors heading towards the labs that Khan had indicated. They'd stunned several men on the way, but they didn't meet nearly as much opposition as they'd feared. Perhaps Khan had been right when he theorized most of the personnel had left in pursuit of their ship. The augment had seemed confident that the ship would return soon however, and Sulu wasn't sure how they were going to handle the bigger challenge when that happened. They'd have to figure it out when the time came. Right now their main priority was finding the captain, Dr. McCoy and Spock.

It wasn't long before they passed through a decontamination area and into a different part of the labs. Here the dead bodies were intact; the wounds were only from phasers. These were not the horrible nearly-liquefied remains they'd seen earlier.

When the captain had originally told them a secret rogue section of Starfleet had been creating bio-weapons, Sulu had had a difficult time believing it. Even after all they had seen, it was hard to believe. But now... If those bodies were connected to a biological weapon of some kind... It was a horrifying thought.

Sulu heard shouting. Recognizing Captain Kirk's voice, Sulu rushed towards the doorway it came from. He stopped at the threshold and raised a hand for Uhura to do the same. He peered around carefully in order to gauge the situation. There were four men inside surrounding the captain. Spock and McCoy were trapped behind a quarantine shield. Three of the men were armed. Sulu figured he and Uhura could probably take them all out in a moment of surprise, but there was still a chance they could get a shot off at the captain. Could he risk it?

All of a sudden the whole space station shook violently, nearly throwing everyone off their feet entirely.

"What the hell?!" The shout came from one of the men inside the room, and Sulu knew it was now or never. He threw himself around the door and began firing with deadly accuracy.

* * *

 

The body was still twitching, gurgling and gasping as the man choked on his own blood. Khan calmly stepped around the widening puddle of blood on the cold metal floor. His slow movements and calm expression barely betrayed the cold fury building inside of him. Only his eyes told the truth. If, what the now very dead man said was true...

Khan would burn the universe to ash.

He returned to the computer terminal and removed the full data cards. Then he proceeded to send a signal he knew would bring the other ship running back to the research station at warp speed. The station itself did not have any weapons, though it did have some very interesting defensive features. Mainly, a special tractor beam that would gently propel away any asteroids that might drift too close so as not to damage the facility.

It only took Khan moments to remove the safety protocols, and as soon as the Starfleet ship dropped out of warp he wasted no time turning up the tractor beam to full power, sending several large asteroids hurtling towards the ship at tremendous velocity. The resulting explosions were quite satisfying and shook the whole research facility.

Pleased with the result, he spent several more minutes to program the station's self-destruct sequence and allowing them twenty minutes to depart before the facility exploded. Hopefully Kirk's crew members aboard the _Va'khen_ would not be late. Khan smiled grimly as he pocketed the data cards. Before he left the control room, he fired several shots from his borrowed rifle at the computer, destroying it.

* * *

"Captain, are you all right?" Sulu asked worriedly, glancing briefly at the other man, through his phaser remained trained on the man kneeling at his feet with his hands behind his head. The rest of the armed men were sprawled on the floor where they'd been stunned by Uhura and him.

"I'll be fine," Jim confirmed. "Check on the others."

Uhura didn't need to be told twice and rushed over to the controls, quickly lowering the quarantine field, then sped to Spock's side. The Vulcan seemed half-conscious but did his best to reassure Nyota that he was fine. Or, rather, he would be as soon as he received proper medical attention. Bones looked pretty worse for wear, but waved away any concerned questions. Jim turned his attention back to Sulu.

"What happened?" Jim asked, anxious to know how his crew had managed the rescue.

Sulu looked almost uncomfortable and Jim frowned.

"It was Khan's idea, sir," Sulu finally admitted and Jim's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "When we realized something must have gone wrong, he asked to see me. He admitted he suspected something like this might happen and that he had a plan. I...didn't know what else to do, sir. We created a distraction to lure the other ship away, and boarded through an airlock. We split up as soon as we were on board."

Jim's mind was spinning.

"Wait, Khan is here?! On board? Where? What was that explosion?" Jim fired off several questions and Sulu only looked at him in apology.

"I'm sorry, sir."

Fuck.

Jim began to struggle to stand, ignoring the pain radiating all through his body, and Bones' angry shouts to sit back down before he fell down. But he couldn't. They had to find Khan. The man could be anywhere! Doing anything! And Khan had known this was going to happen. He'd known...planned for it even... Anger, willpower and surging adrenaline kept Jim on his feet when at any other time he probably would have fallen.

However, before Jim could attempt a stumbling step, the man in question appeared in the doorway. Khan's eyes swept over all of them in turn. He certainly didn't seem surprised or concerned at Jim's appearance. Then his gaze settled on their prisoner and something in Khan's expression shifted. His eyes widened in obvious recognition and something in them made whatever angry words Jim had been about to launch at the augment die in his throat.

Everything that happened after that was almost too fast for Jim to follow. Khan surged forward, shoving both Sulu and Jim out of the way hard enough to send them flying. It was like the bridge of the _Vengeance_ all over again. Their shouts went completely unheeded and they were all powerless in the face of Khan's fury. Especially the man on whom it was directed.

Jim could only watch as Khan lifted the man off the ground by his neck as if he weighted nothing at all and slammed him against the wall with such force the metal buckled. Jim heard several of the man's bones snap. It was probably already too late; Khan's fingers were digging into the man's windpipe without mercy and the man wasn't even struggling in the augment's grasp.

"Take him down!" Jim shouted anyway, and Khan's whole body jerked when Uhura's stun hit him. Jim hadn't expected that, given what he knew about the augment. He watched in morbid fascination as Khan dropped the man who was surely already dead by that point, and honestly Jim couldn't muster up much sympathy for the guy. He definitely didn't expect it when Khan himself dropped like a stone and began to scream.


	6. Chapter 6

Jim honestly wasn't sure whether to call their latest mission a success or not. Technically he supposed it was. They'd gotten what they wanted. The data disks they'd found on Khan after they returned to the _Va'khen_ were full of encrypted information that Chekov and Scotty were working diligently to decrypt. Hopefully the information would prove worth it.

Jim scowled to himself.

At least no one had died this time, Jim kept telling himself, though that thought was surprisingly little comfort. He and Bones had been roughed up, but there was no permanent damage; mostly just bruises and a few broken bones. Nothing that a bone-knitting laser and a tissue regenerator couldn't fix. Although the doctor's hand was still in a splint with limited use. Given the delicate nature of repairing the bones, and the fact that he had to work one-handed, it was taking longer than usual. Bones certainly wasn't happy about it and Jim couldn't blame him.

Spock had gotten the worst of it, being shot and then beaten. That was bad enough. But because his biohazard suit had been compromised, they'd been forced to keep him in quarantine for several days to make sure he hadn't been infected with whatever those people on Cold Station 12 had died from. In fact, they'd all been given blood tests, just to be sure, and so far they'd all been given a clean bill of health. Thankfully, Spock had shown no signs of being infected.

They had been lucky.

Bones had remarked more than once it would have been easier to test for traces of the virus, or whatever it was, if they'd managed to get a sample of it. It was as close to an I-told-you-so as the doctor was apparently going to give, and Jim let it go without comment, because Bones was right. It would have been helpful to get a sample of that virus as proof, to go along with whatever information they'd managed to retrieve from the data disks. Unfortunately, as far as they knew, it had all gone up in a rather nice-sized fireball courtesy of Khan, because he'd set the whole facility to self-destruct and then destroyed the computer, leaving them no way to disarm it.

Bastard could have at least mentioned all of that before they'd been forced to stun the man. At least the _Va'khen_ had returned for them in plenty of time to beam them all aboard and get them out of the area before the facility exploded. And - if he were being honest - Jim was rather glad. What that virus had done to those people... He shuddered just thinking about it, he'd never seen anything like it. He would rather see it all destroyed and leave them with no proof than risk it getting loose aboard this ship or some unsuspecting planet as it had done aboard Cold Station 12. Jim wondered how naive it was for him to hope that with the destruction of Cold Station 12, that would be the end of it.

When had they ever been that lucky?

Jim sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face tiredly. Yeah, despite the technical success of the mission, it still felt like one big fuck-up after another, and that, in a large part, was due to one man. Khan. Though in truth, Jim wasn't sure if he were more angry at Khan or himself. Despite all of Spock's and everyone else's warnings, somehow he had still forgotten how brilliant and ruthless the augment could be. Khan did things by any means necessary, and Jim should have remembered that when he had gone to Khan for help.

What was worse, it had worked. The plan, like the man himself, was both brilliant and ruthless. Khan had basically used Jim, Spock, and Bones as bait. A distraction. While the operatives from Section 31 (at least Jim assumed that's who they were, they'd never really gotten as far as introductions) were busy with him and his friends, Khan had managed to waltz in and get what he needed with practically no resistance.

The absolute worst thing about the whole affair was that as much as Jim racked his brain, he couldn't think of any other plan that could have worked. If Section 31 hadn't shown up, the plan they'd discussed would have gone off without a hitch. But that wasn't what had happened. If he was being honest with himself, Jim should have expected it. He couldn't really blame Khan for his own shortsightedness, even though the bastard still could have warned him.

If Khan had warned him, would it have changed anything? Probably not. If Jim had still decided to risk infiltrating the facility, they might have been better prepared, but things probably would have turned out exactly the same way; there was no way the three of them could have mounted a defense against that kind of force without getting killed. The divide-and-conquer strategy that Khan had come up with was brilliant, no doubt about it. The man managed to infiltrate the facility completely undetected with Uhura and Sulu, took out most of the remaining guards, and somehow blew up Section 31's ship before reinforcements could return. And all on his own. Jim couldn't deny that was impressive.

That didn't mean that Jim wasn't still royally pissed off at Khan. The man had risked his life, and the lives of his crew, and Jim wasn't just going to forgive that.

Jim reminded himself of that every time he looked down at the man lying unconscious on the biobed in the _Va'khen's_ medbay. It had been days since the mission, and so far there had been no change in Khan's condition. The only reason why the man wasn't screaming his throat raw right now was because of the drugs keeping him unconscious, but it was obvious they were doing nothing for the pain. Even keeping the augment as heavily-sedated as Bones dared, Khan's expression was pinched in agony and only the restraints holding him securely to the biobed kept the augment from thrashing. The small whimpering noises that occasionally escaped Khan's lips made Jim feel very uncomfortable.

He was glad for the excuse to look away when Bones entered the medbay, carrying a few datapads in his good hand.

"Found anything?" Jim asked with forced casualness. He wasn't about to let on how anxious he was to hear some kind of news. So far the doctor hadn't been able to figure out what was happening to Khan, and it was more than a little...worrying. Even if the bastard didn't deserve Jim's concern, Jim told himself he'd feel the same way if he saw anyone, even his worst enemy, suffering like this.

"I think so," Bones confirmed with a nod, handing Jim one of the datapads. Jim could tell they were various bioscans but couldn't make much sense of it. Xenobiology was never his strongest subject at the academy.

"What am I looking at?" He finally asked.

"Those are the results of Khan's bioscans - when he let me perform them - and blood tests over the last couple weeks," the doctor explained and Jim looked at the readouts again with a sense of near-awe. He knew that Khan had been engineered to be 'better', but he'd always assumed that the augment's biology would be generally humanlike, just with a few improvements. Boy, was he wrong.

"Wow," Jim muttered and Bones snorted softly.

"Tell me about it," the doctor replied, then handed Jim the next datapad. Jim assumed they were still Khan's scans he was looking at, but they were very different. No wonder the man was in so much pain.

"Christ..." Jim whispered.

"Those are his scans over the past couple of days. Frankly, I'm surprised his heart hasn't exploded yet under the strain," Bones explained, shaking his head. "Damned stubborn bastard. I knew there was something wrong. I knew he wasn't healing like he should be, and I couldn't figure out why, until now."

"Come take a look at this," the doctor instructed, moving over to Khan's biobed and activating the sensor cluster above it. A three-dimensional holographic image of Khan's bone structure immediately appeared over the augment, but... Even Jim could see that something was wrong.

"What the hell is that?" Jim asked.

"Fractures," the doctor stated grimly. Jim's eyes widened in horror as he stared at the fine spider web-like lines that covered nearly every bone in Khan's body.

"Every bone in his body is broken?!" No. If every one of those lines was a fracture, then every bone in his body would have virtually shattered!

"Most of them are hairline fractures, not complete breaks, thank goodness for small favors. I can probably fix most of them with the bone-knitting laser. It will just take a few days," Bones explained. Jim was still staring at the image of Khan's skeleton with a sick feeling. How could Bones have missed something like this? As though sensing his thoughts, the doctor frowned.

"None of these breaks were here the last time I scanned him, Jim. They've only happened in the last few days. We probably saw exactly when it happened, actually. When he dropped on Cold Station 12. It wasn't the stun that did it, you knew that as well as I did. One stun should never have put him down like that. As bad as this looks, it might be a good thing it happened, or I would never have thought to run a deep bone scan on him." Bones clicked a few controls on the biobed and the image of Khan's skeleton turned almost translucent.

Jim froze.

The small circular disks didn't look like much, but there were dozens of them throughout Khan's skeleton, and he could see that the hairline fractures seemed to radiate outwards from wherever they were located.

"What are they?"

"Frankly, Jim, I have no clue," Bones admitted with a sigh, shaking his head. "Whatever they are, I'm certain they're the reason he dropped the way he did. They're sending some kind of pulse through his bones straight into his surrounding tissue and firing along every nerve in his body. That's why he's in agony. That's not the worst part of it though."

Jim stared at Bones in shock. How the hell could any of this possibly get any worse?

"Look at this," Bones changed the holo-image so that it zoomed in on Khan's skull. The doctor pointed to something at the base of Khan's brain that definitely shouldn't have been there. "All those things are receiving signals from whatever this is, wired directly into his brain. It picks up certain impulses from his brain that it doesn't like and sends a signal to those things all over his body, and then..."

The Doctor's voice trailed off, but Jim was beginning to see the picture. Certain actions, hell, if Khan even thought about certain things, this device could be programmed to pick it up and cause him unbearable pain. Like punishing a disobedient dog. This thing had probably been causing him terrible pain for a long time now, injuring him over and over to keep him weakened. Manageable...

Though, if it was meant to stop Khan from 'misbehaving,' it didn't seem to be very effective. It certainly hadn't done much to stop Khan from killing that man on Cold Station 12. But then again, it had happened so fast. And now Khan was definitely paying for it. He'd had been in agony for days! Maybe the thing was malfunctioning? Maybe the stun from the phaser had damaged it somehow? What if it didn't stop?

"Jesus Christ..." Jim breathed, swallowing down the bile that had risen in his throat. Jim looked at Bones hopefully. "Can you remove it?"

"I don't think so. At least not with the equipment I have here. Like I said, I've never seen anything like this before. We're talking extensive surgery to try and remove it. If he was a normal human he'd probably never have survived the surgery that implanted these things in the first place. Plus, we don't know what kind of security features this thing has. It could cripple or kill him if I tried to remove it," the doctor admitted with a look of regret. Jim felt his stomach sink. It could cripple or kill Khan if they didn't remove it. Or at least find a way to shut the damned thing down!

"There has to be something we can do."

"I've been talking it over with Spock, Jim. We agree it's too risky to attempt anything while it's still actively receiving signals from Khan's brain. He thinks if he performs a mind meld with Khan, he can interrupt the signals between Khan's brain and the device. Don't ask me how; I've never been able to understand that Vulcan mumbo-jumbo. Then I might be able to deactivate it, at least."

Jim didn't even have to think about it.

"All right, do it."

Bones looked at him.

"What?" Jim asked.

"Just want to make sure you understand that if this works, there's a good chance he'll finally recover. Fully recover," Bones replied.

Jim looked down at Khan. He could certainly understand what Bones was trying to say. Even weak and injured, they'd had no real hope of controlling Khan. Given recent events, Jim could probably understand why Bones would question his easy agreement to help Khan. How many times was Jim going to let the man betray him before he learned his lesson?

But then 'controlling' Khan was never really an option. Earning the man's trust, his cooperation, that was the only way this was ever going to succeed. That hadn't changed, despite what Khan had done, and whatever Khan might think of them, Jim wasn't a monster. He couldn't let the man suffer, maybe even die, because of this. Perhaps this would finally prove to Khan that they weren't like the men who'd hurt him.

"Do it," Jim repeated without hesitation.

* * *

It was only logical.

Spock reminded himself of this as he stood looking down at the supine form of the augment on the biobed. He and Dr. McCoy were the only ones currently in the medbay other than Khan himself, though the augment was still deeply sedated. Normally regulations stated there should be at least two other medical personnel on hand to assist during a procedure such as this, but as their means were currently limited, Dr. McCoy stated they would just have to 'make do'.

Though Jim had wanted to observe the procedure, the doctor had managed to talk the young man out of it.

This is a medical procedure, damn it, not dinner theater.

It was just as well the captain had finally submitted to the doctor's insistence. Spock would need all of his concentration to perform the mind meld on the unconscious augment, especially as Spock himself had not yet fully recovered his strength from his recent injuries.

The Vulcan frowned slightly, the only outward indication of his unease at what he was about to do. Although he had made the suggestion to Dr. McCoy, Spock had hoped that the man might come up with another option. He did not wish to do this. Plain and simple. But as much as he disliked the idea of entering Khan's mind for any reason, at the moment, it was the only ethical decision. The only logical decision.

Vulcans did not believe in revenge. He did not believe in the concept of revenge, despite the fact that he was half-human. Spock took no gratification seeing Khan like this.

"Are you ready?" Dr. McCoy asked him, and Spock nodded, showing no apparent hesitation as he placed his fingers against Khan's face and closed his eyes.

While this was not the first time he'd touched Khan's mind, the first time having been during their fight as Khan tried to crush his skull, Spock was still not quite prepared for the violent nature of the thoughts which slammed into his mind, nearly making him physically recoil. Human minds, due to their very nature, were disordered; their thoughts and emotions almost completely uncontrolled. It made performing a mind meld difficult, sometimes even painful for a Vulcan mind. Khan's mind was stronger, but for all the outward calm the human displayed, his thoughts and emotions were unpredictable and chaotic. So much negative emotion: anger, hate, rage...pain...sadness, grief, loneliness... So much pain...

Spock shielded his own mind as best he could, shying away from Khan's memories associated with the negative emotions, which battered against his mind like waves in a storm. His purpose was not to join, not to merge or share thoughts. His purpose was to essentially cut Khan's mind off from the rest of his body long enough for Dr. McCoy to perform the medical procedure. Nothing more.

Spock knew immediately when he'd succeeded. He felt the neural pathways sever as cleanly as a laser scalpel through flesh, and it could be just as easily repaired as soon as was necessary. But Spock hadn't counted on Khan's mind suddenly mounting a defense against the perceived 'attack'. Most human minds simply did not have the ability, or discipline, for telepathy.

Khan apparently had both.

Spock's mental shields began to crumble under the unexpected onslaught, and the half-Vulcan found himself submerged in the hurricane-like intensity of Khan's memories.


	7. Chapter 7

Spock did not recognize where he was. A long corridor stretched out in front and behind him, seemingly without end. The walls, ceiling, and floor were a flat metallic gray with no embellishments whatsoever. There were no windows or doors that he could see.

"Khan?" Spock spoke clearly, yet calmly, his voice betraying nothing. Certainly not annoyance, for that would be beneath him. Though he was certainly not pleased to be here.

His 'voice' seemed to echo, but there was no reply. Spock's eyes narrowed slightly. He knew this place was not real, simply a manifestation of Khan's mind. It was certainly not what he had expected when Khan's mental defenses had brutally torn through his own shields like they were made of paper.

Spock remembered feeling like being trapped in a whirlwind, violent feelings and images buffeting him from every angle too fast for him to make any sense of any of it. He had been tossed about, battered, feeling as though he were drowning in a stormy sea of rage and pain. Then suddenly...nothing. Stillness. Emptiness. As though Khan's mind had suddenly retreated into itself.

It must have been an instinctive reaction, both the sudden attack and retreat. Spock doubted that Khan had little, if any, extensive mental training in this regard. The mental attack had been brutally effective, in the way that a war hammer might be, whether the one wielding it had the skill to do so or not. Anyone with less mental training than Spock had would probably have been immediately thrown out of the augment's mind with a very unpleasant headache to remember the experience by.

Spock had managed to hold onto the connection however, knowing how much damage it could do to both their minds, but especially Khan's, if he had been ejected from the augment's mind before he could repair the neural connections he had severed. If Khan had received any kind of mental training, Spock doubted he would have been able to hold onto the connection. In fact, the augment probably could have killed him, or at least severely damaged his mind, if that attack had been deliberate and focused.

Now he was here, and Spock couldn't deny he was fascinated, if only because he couldn't imagine Khan consciously retreating from anyone, especially him. That further supported his theory that both reactions had been instinctive rather than planned. Khan's mind and body had been under tremendous stress for days now. It was quite possible the augment was in, what humans liked to call, fight-or-flight mode. Fighting had not worked, so instead Khan had fled.

That was unfortunate, as Khan had dragged them both down deeper into his mind, like being caught in the undertow as the tide moved out. Deeper than Spock had wanted to go, that was for certain. He had no wish to stay here any longer than he had to, but his efforts to 'pull back' from the meld were proving difficult. Most likely he would need Khan's cooperation to 'untangle' things.

Spock gave a mental sigh.

With no other options at the moment, Spock began to 'walk' down the corridor, though it felt like he was simply walking in place, given the lack of any change in his surroundings. Still he continued, and gradually it seemed, as though the space around him was growing dimmer, until it was so dark he could barely see where to put his feet. It made the sudden appearance of a rectangular beam of light shining out of a doorway all the more startling. Especially when there had been no sign of any door or light moments ago.

Cautiously, Spock approached the open doorway, however he froze just outside the rectangle of light. He could hear what was going on inside. He recognized the sounds immediately, if only because he'd had the displeasure of hearing similar sounds only days ago. Someone inside the room was being beaten. He could hear the sickening sounds of impacts against flesh and bone and the grunts and groans of someone in pain. He even recognized the voice of the person making the noises.

Spock almost turned away from the doorway. He did not want to see this memory, whatever it was. He did not need to see it. His feelings regarding Khan aside, it would be unethical for him to witness these things. While he had previously suggested performing a mind meld on Khan against his will in order to learn what information Khan possessed that he'd refused to divulge them at the time, circumstances were far different now. There was no logical, or ethical reason for Spock to see these things.

"Motherfucker!" came a shout from inside the room. Immediately following the exclamation was the sound of most likely a fist striking another man and a body hitting the floor.

"I told you not to mess up his face," a different voice stated, sounding nearly bored, a voice Spock also surprisingly recognized. He had heard it for the first time just days ago.

"The bastard bit me!"

"That's what you get for putting your dick in his mouth." Despite the calmness of the tone, the words made Spock feel as though ice water had been poured down his back. He did not wish to see this. He did not want to know this had happened. Yet somehow, Spock found himself drawn forward against his will, stepping into the light when all he wanted to do was run away from it.

He recognized the room as a Starfleet prison cell. There were six men inside. One of them was bound, naked and bleeding on the floor. The others surrounding him were wearing Starfleet uniforms. The naked man lifted his head and snarled at his attackers, spitting blood at one of them and receiving a kick to the face for his trouble.

"I said enough," the man wearing a commander's uniform said, his voice only slightly sharper than before. The other man kicked the bound man in the stomach instead, one last time. "Hold him."

The other Starfleet officers moved to pull up the bound man, forcing him onto his knees despite his struggling. The commander moved around and behind the kneeling man. Spock could see his face clearly now. It was definitely the same man who had tortured Jim. The man Khan had killed. The man ran his hand down the kneeling man's naked bloody back.

"I am going to miss our time together once you're transferred after your hearing. But I'm sure I can pull a few strings and pay you a visit from time to time," he said, and began to undo his trousers.

Spock was sure he had not moved or made a sound, but suddenly the bound man lifted his head and stared right at him. Even knowing who it was beforehand, Spock was not quite prepared for it when Khan's eyes met his own.

"Get out!" Khan hissed between his teeth, and feelings of hopeless despair and humiliation mingled with rage slammed into Spock with enough force to knock him back physically from the light. Once he was no longer in the scene, it vanished completely, leaving him lost in the long dark corridor once more.

Only this time Spock could feel he was not alone.

Slowly he turned and was surprised to come face to face with a much younger Khan, not a child, but not yet an adult. He wore simple white clothes splattered with blood. His hands were drenched with it. The fierce glare the augment gave him was very familiar, despite his apparent youth.

"What are you doing here?!" Khan snapped angrily. It was strange to hear the augment speak with his voice lacking the deep baritone Khan had acquired when he reached adulthood. Still reeling from what he had seen, Spock was well aware that this was not an almost-child standing in front of him. What exactly it was, however, was uncertain. Whether it was the conscious part of Khan's mind, or an echo of a memory, remained to be seen.

"You are undergoing a medical procedure where it was necessary for me to perform a mind meld. There have been...unforeseen complications," Spock answered.

"Medical procedure." Khan practically spat the words like a curse, "What a kind way to put it."

The hallway shifted, fading away to the inside of a lab that Spock did not recognize. Neither did he recognize the bodies lying on the floor, twisted and bloody. There was so much blood everywhere it was difficult to keep his footing it was so slick; he almost fell when he tried to take a step back.

"That's how they put it. That's how they always put it. A medical procedure. Even when they butchered her!" Khan advanced on him, apparently not hampered at all by the blood. "I killed them for it. I killed them all."

The pale eyes that bored into Spock held an insane light. As Spock took another stumbling step backwards, he did slip and Khan struck like a snake. Spock tried to fight him off, but the boy was strong, much stronger than he was expecting. Spock tried to pull away the hands that had gripped the sides of his head and which had begun to squeeze, but he couldn't. He felt his skull start to give way under the pressure.

"Maybe I should kill you too."

Reacting mostly on instinct, Spock did the same thing he had the last time Khan had tried this, pressing his fingers against the augments face and redirecting the pain back at him. The scream the boy gave was horrifying, but at least Khan released him. When Spock's vision cleared, he saw that the young Khan had disappeared completely, as had the dead bodies, blood, and the lab. There was nothing now, just a deep black void.

Khan had retreated again. Potentially deeper than before. That was not good. The encounter had left Spock feeling disorientated, and it took him a moment to compose himself once more.

"Khan, I have no wish to cause you harm or pain." The Vulcan attempted to reason with the augment, even though he knew his efforts would probably be unsuccessful. Khan's mind was obviously not in a state capable of listening to reason, even if the augment wanted to.

Somewhere from the darkness, Spock thought he heard the sound of a child crying. With no other course to take, Spock moved towards the sounds of distress. Fearful whimpers gave way to pained cries the closer he got.

"It hurts! It hurts, please, stop!"

The darkness dissolved and Spock found himself in yet another lab. In this memory, Khan was even younger, a child, perhaps only a few Earth years old by Spock's estimate. The boy was strapped securely to an examination table and there were various tubes inserted into his skin, mostly along his arms and legs. The child was whimpering, sobbing quietly as the scientists moved around him. It was unclear to Spock what they were doing, but it was clearly very unpleasant.

"Look at this, Doctor," one of the scientists said, pointing to a monitor too far away for Spock to read. "The regenerative rate is remarkable! The cells are being replaced almost as fast as they are being destroyed."

The doctor studied the terminal for a moment and nodded. "Increase the dosage."

As the boy began to thrash in earnest, Spock found himself unable to look away, though he desperately wanted to. Whimpers gave way to outright screams.

"It hurts! It hurts!"

But the boy's cries went completely unheeded by those around him, the scientists being far more concerned with the results of the experiment they were conducting than the child in agony on the examination table.

Unable to bear the sight any longer, Spock turned away, but instead of darkness, another memory rose up immediately in place of the previous one. The setting this time was one that Spock recognized. It was on the space station they had rescued Khan from. The cell where they had found the augment. Khan was an adult again of course, but that made it no easier to bear witness to what was happening. The man's face twisted in agony, yet he refused to scream as he convulsed naked on the floor. Just as when Khan had been a child, those around him were apparently uncaring of his suffering, monitoring his physical state, but otherwise dispassionate and little bothered that they were torturing a sentient being.

The scene changed yet again, leaving Spock feeling almost dizzy with the abrupt shifts in perspective. Again, Spock did not recognize the place, but he was thankful that at least it was not the inside of another lab. The room was small, barely big enough to hold the table and chair the augment sat in. The walls were plain and there was only one door. Khan's hands and feet were chained, his face was pale and drawn. His hair was dirty, disheveled and much longer than Spock had ever seen it. He had dark circles underneath his eyes, yet still he sat straight and alert. His entire body tense.

Eventually the door to the room opened and Spock blinked in surprise when Admiral Marcus walked in.

"Khan." The admiral greeted the bound man with a cold smile, taking note of his poor condition with barely a raised eyebrow. "How have you been enjoying your accommodations?"

Khan glared at the older man but remained silent. The admiral smirked at the augment.

"Thought I'd come by to see if you'd reconsidered my offer yet."

Khan's glare turned positively icy.

"Believe me, it's the best one you're going to get. No one knows you're here. No one would even care if they did know. You're just a remnant of a time long past, a time most would rather forget. No one is going to help you. No one but me."

"The answer is no." Khan finally spoke, his voice hoarse and painful sounding, but his tone was firm. Unyielding.

"Very well, have it your way. If you'd rather spend the rest of your life being dissected under a microscope, so be it," Marcus said, turning as though he intended to leave. However, he paused at the door. "Oh, I almost forgot. The doctors said you were quite interested to learn what happened to the rest of your crew when you were first unfrozen. Would you like to hear what happened to them?"

Spock could see that Khan was trying to hold onto the impassive mask, but his eyes betrayed him. They were intense and desperate. The admiral smirked.

"Well?" Marcus asked, almost taunting.

"Yes..." Khan finally ground out between his teeth.

Marcus pulled out a datapad and slid it across the table towards Khan, keeping well out of reach of the augment's chains. Khan looked down at the datapad and his expression simply...crumbled...at the images displayed. Even Spock felt nauseous looking at the mutilated remains.

"Twelve of your crew were unfrozen, including you. Two died during reviving. The rest were experimented on, the same as you were. You should feel lucky I intervened on your behalf before you ended up like the rest of them" the admiral remarked almost flippantly, and Khan's eyes snapped back up to Marcus. If the augment hadn't been chained down, Spock had no doubt Khan's hands would be around the admiral's throat right now.

"So, I guess I should go tell those scientists that they can do whatever they want with what's left of your crew. All seventy-two of them," Marcus continued, and whatever color was left in Khan's face drained away at those words.

"No..." Khan's voice was barely above a whisper.

"What was that?"

Khan forced himself to straighten, somehow still managing to look dignified despite everything.

"I will do what you want. In exchange for the lives of my crew," Khan said formally, practically biting out each syllable.

"Good. Someone will be by later to pick you up." Marcus eyed the augment up and down again, this time with a note of distaste. "Get yourself cleaned up in the meantime."

The admiral left the room, and as soon as the door shut behind him, Khan broke down. The sound the augment made was like a dying animal as he curled over the datapad, sobbing.

Spock took a step forward, reaching out, his hand almost touching the augment's shoulder. But he froze before he made contact. In that split second of hesitation, the scene shifted again.

This time Spock was standing on the bridge of the _Vengeance_. He was looking at himself on the viewscreen as Khan demanded the return of his crew. He listened as the augment threatened Jim's life and that of the entire _Enterprise_ crew if Spock did not concede to his demands. Spock should have felt anger at the augment's betrayal, as he had before, especially knowing what would follow, but after what Spock had just seen, he felt strangely conflicted. He listened to himself as he gave the order to lower the _Enterprise_ shields, watched as the torpedoes were beamed over. The almost wondrous elation on Khan's face.

"I have fulfilled your terms. Now fulfill mine."

Dread began to pool in Spock's stomach, just like the first time.

"Well Kirk, it seems apt to return you to your crew. After all, no ship should go down without her captain."

Spock watched as Khan fired upon the _Enterprise_ , no mercy in his eyes, and after everything Starfleet had done to the man and his crew, the Vulcan could no longer blame him for it. Suddenly the _Vengeance_ rocked with explosions as the torpedoes detonated, throwing Khan out of the captain's chair.

"NOOO!" Khan's scream, as he watched what he believed to be the deaths of his crew at Spock's hands, was gut-wrenching. Spock had not cared at the time, having his own crew and ship to worry about. Now he could not remain unaffected, no matter how much he might wish to.

Again the scene shifted. They were coming faster now, almost bleeding together. Images from Khan's childhood and the horrors the boy had experienced at the hands of his creators superimposed themselves over more recent traumas at the hands of Starfleet. Spock saw faces. Most he did not recognize, from a time and place centuries ago. Some alive. Most dead. He saw his own face, when he'd chased down Khan after the crash of the _Vengeance_. Though he almost didn't recognize himself; his face twisted in rage, as he beat the man. He'd been prepared to beat Khan to death until Nyota had stopped him. As Khan looked up at him, Spock felt it strongly, as though Khan had spoken aloud: he had wanted to die then. Then, and so many times afterwards, he had wanted to die. Just...to stop. For the pain to stop.

"Stop! Stop!" Spock shouted, clutching at his head. It was too much. Too much... "Please..."

Then, suddenly, it was over. Spock opened his eyes; he did not even know when he'd closed them. He was kneeling where he'd collapsed, still holding his throbbing head, but everything was dark and quiet again. It had stopped...

No one had ever stopped when Khan had begged them to... But Khan, the man Spock had once accused of the genocide of any beings he deemed less-than-superior, the man everyone assumed was nothing more than a heartless monster... He had stopped...

A ragged sob tore its way from Spock's throat before he could stop it.

All of a sudden, whatever grip Khan's mind had had on his started to weaken. Spock pulled back, leaving the depths of the augment's mind as quickly as he could, remaining only long enough to ensure that Khan's neural pathways were healed once more before ending the mind meld. He wasn't even sure whether or not Dr. McCoy had completed the procedure, but he could not remain inside Khan's mind a moment longer.

Spock gasped for air as though he'd been drowning, snatching his hands away from Khan's face as though the touch burned him.

"Spock! Are you all right? What happened?" Dr. McCoy's gruff, yet worried, voice made Spock flinch. The doctor was looking at him with wide, concerned, eyes. At least it seemed the doctor had managed to complete the procedure. Khan's face was relaxed and his body was still for the first time in days. Perhaps that was why the pain had stopped and Khan finally released him.

"I... Apologies, Doctor. I...need a moment..." Spock's voice shook. His hands were shaking. Spock turned and all but ran from the medbay.

"Spock, wait!"

"Spock? Spock!" The doctor's shout was echoed by Jim, who had obviously been waiting just outside the medbay for the procedure to end. But Spock did not stop.


	8. Chapter 8

Jim paced up and down the hallway in front of the medbay doors. Bones had told him in no uncertain terms, that he was not allowed inside during the procedure. While he could understand the doctor's reasons, Jim certainly didn't want to distract either Bones or Spock during the delicate operation, that didn't mean he was happy about it. He was dying to know what was going on inside that room.

Bones had estimated that the procedure would take around an hour, maybe two hours tops if there were complications. It had been over two-and-a-half hours now, and Jim was understandably concerned. For Spock, of course, but also (reluctantly) for Khan.

What the hell was taking so long? What if something had gone wrong? There wasn't really anything Jim could do if something had gone wrong. But the waiting, and not knowing, was driving him a little mad.

When the door to the medbay finally opened, the last thing Jim had expected was to be nearly run over by Spock.

"Spock? Spock!" Jim practically shouted after the other man, but the half-Vulcan didn't stop, didn't even slow at the sound of his voice. Spock was either ignoring him or didn't hear him, and Jim wasn't sure which situation was worse.

Jim started after his first officer, only to be nearly knocked over a second time when Bones bumped into him coming out of the same door Spock had just exited. At least the good doctor took the time to help steady Jim before the younger man could fall on his ass or something equally embarrassing.

"Bones? What happened?" His eyes darted back and forth between the doctor, the room behind him, and the hallway Spock had disappeared down. "Is Khan...?"

"He's fine, as far as I can tell. Stable. Still sedated but resting comfortably," Bones explained, and Jim let out a small sigh of relief. But that didn't explain what was wrong with Spock.

"As for what happened, I'm not really sure," Bones went on, "Spock did his Vulcan mind thing, and I went in to deactivate the device. It took a little longer than I expected, the damned thing was so complex, but I finally got it powered down. I expected Spock to come out of his trance, or whatever as soon as I was finished, but he didn't. After a half-hour or so I started to get concerned. He looked, I dunno...tense. More than usual. He didn't react at all when I tried talking to him. When he finally did come out of it, the guy looked like he'd seen a ghost, then took off like a bat out of hell."

Jim frowned. That didn't sound good at all.

"All right," Jim finally said, "I'm going to go find Spock."

Bones nodded in understanding. "I'll stay here and keep an eye on my patient. Let me know if Spock's all right. I've never seen him so shaken up, Jim."

Jim nodded and went after Spock.

It didn't take him long to reach Spock's quarters, the Vulcan ship wasn't nearly as large as the _Enterprise_. Jim activated the door chime to Spock's door and waited but there was no answer. Frowning, Jim started to leave, wondering where else the Vulcan might have gone. Something made him stop however, and hit the chime again. After a moment there was finally an answer.

 _"Yes?"_ Spock's voice was calm and even, a little too even in Jim's opinion. Something was definitely wrong. If Spock's earlier behavior wasn't proof enough of that, the fact that he had ignored the door until Jim had made it clear he wasn't leaving was a pretty damn big indicator.

"Hey, Spock. It's me. Can I come in?" Jim asked, hoping that he wouldn't have to make it an order. After a moment the door slid open and he gave a small sigh of relief that Spock hadn't given him a polite Vulcan 'fuck off' instead.

Jim stepped inside. The lights were set low and the heat was turned up to a temperature a little higher than was comfortable for humans, but which Vulcans seemed to prefer. Spock was kneeling on the floor in the center of the room, appearing as though he were preparing to meditate. Since meeting the Vulcan, he'd seen Spock in a similar pose a few times before, but it was nothing like this. Spock was far too tense; his back practically rigid, and his hands were clenched into fists so tightly his knuckles had taken on a faint whitish-green tinge. Spock's face was utterly devoid of expression as he looked up at Jim.

"Can I help you, Captain?" Spock asked politely, his voice completely neutral. It was really starting to freak Jim out. The young man stepped closer to the half-Vulcan and knelt down in front of him so Spock would not have to look up. Spock raised an eyebrow but didn't comment.

"Are you all right?" Jim asked. Spock opened his mouth but the young man cut him off before he could say anything. "Scratch that. I know you're not, so don't even try to bullshit me. What happened?"

Spock's eyes narrowed slightly, a little frown line forming between his eyebrows the only sign of his irritation. The fact that he'd allowed Jim to see it at all probably was proof enough how off-balance Spock was. After a moment he gave an almost inaudible sigh.

"You have experienced a mind meld before, with my older self," Spock began, and even though it wasn't a question, Jim nodded. "Then you know the connection can be very...intense. Emotions, especially strong ones, can be transferred between individuals. I attempted to shield myself so that would not happen, but there were complications."

Jim winced a little, recalling the only time he'd experienced a Vulcan mind meld. Intense was an understatement. The elder Spock's grief he'd experienced over the loss of his home planet had nearly brought Jim to his knees.

"So you felt some of Khan's emotions."

"More than that, I experienced some of his memories as well," Spock said quietly, his voice nearly a whisper.

"Shit..." Jim breathed. Given what they knew about what had happened to Khan, he could only imagine what Spock might have seen to make him react the way he had. Jim wasn't sure he wanted to know. "That bad, huh? Do you want to talk about it?"

"It would be...unethical of a Vulcan to discuss what one witnessed during a mind meld," Spock stated and Jim sighed to himself. He probably shouldn't have even asked. The two sat silently together for a while. Jim looked down at Spock's hands again. They were trembling.

"Are you all right? Do you need anything?" Jim asked, deeply concerned.

"I need to meditate. The experience was unpleasant... As soon as I've had time to process what I've seen, yes, I will be...fine." Spock didn't sound very convinced and it didn't really comfort Jim either, but he nodded anyway. He had to trust that Spock would tell him if he needed help.

"I guess I'll leave you alone then. To meditate."

"Thank you, Captain," Spock said, his expression almost relieved, and that only made Jim worry more. Trust, Jim reminded himself. Once Spock had time to process things and calm down, maybe they could talk about it further.

Jim stood up.

"All right. Let me know if you need anything. Anything, I mean it," Jim said and Spock gave him one of his rare almost-smiles.

"I will. Thank you, Jim."

Jim smiled in return and reluctantly walked to the door, but he paused before leaving.

"I know you said it would be unethical, but can I ask one thing?" Spock's expression could only be described as uneasy. "In the memories you saw... Did you happen to see that man on Cold Station 12? The one who..." The one whose body Khan basically crushed with one fucking blow before he collapsed screaming in agony.

The Vulcan's face grew very pale as all the blood seemed to drain out of it. Jim's heart began to hammer in his chest.

"Yes, Captain."

Jim swallowed hard. He knew it. He knew that Khan had recognized the man from before.

"Did he deserve it?" Jim wasn't sure why, but he had to know. After what the guy had done to Bones, Spock and himself, Jim didn't have much sympathy for him. None at all really. But he still could have been a valuable source of information. Jim needed to know that Khan hadn't just killed the guy on a... On a what? A whim? Because of a lapse in judgment? A psychotic break? He wasn't sure... But he needed to know if it was...justified.

Spock was silent for so long Jim wasn't sure if the Vulcan was going to answer him.

"Yes, Captain..." Spock finally whispered, and the fact that the Vulcan would admit that...

Fucking hell...

* * *

Leonard puttered around the medbay, finding things to do to keep himself busy with while he monitored Khan. He was used to a lot more activity than this; as chief medical officer aboard the _Enterprise_ , there was no shortage of patients for him to look after. Whether it was a case of Ankaran flu brought on board after an away mission, or the various bumps and scrapes that the crew sustained aboard a starship despite all the safety protocols, or his own medical research, it seemed like he was always on the go. Not to mention being always on-call should there be a ship-wide emergency in the middle of the night. While he could get grumpy from time to time and complain like anyone else due to lack of sleep, Leonard didn't really mind it. In fact, there wasn't much else he'd rather be doing.

Even though not on the _Enterprise_ , having just one patient to look after was a bit of a novelty, especially after the hectic pace and thousands of wounded he'd tended who had been brought into Starfleet Medical after the crash of the _Vengeance_. Leonard seemed to barely have enough time to think, much less sleep, during those few weeks as he cared for as many patients as humanly possible. Leonard definitely wasn't used to sitting around twiddling his thumbs, but he'd been forced to do a lot of that in the last few hours.

Leonard monitored Khan closely, but there were really only so many readings he could take using the available equipment and occasionally even using 'old fashioned' methods, which honestly, sometimes the doctor preferred. There hadn't been much change in Khan's condition, despite the fact that Leonard had lowered the dosage of the drugs keeping the augment sedated. When Khan would wake up would depend on how fast his body could metabolize the drugs, and his body had been through a lot. For all Leonard knew, it could take all night, or several days, before Khan woke.

Normally in a case like this, Leonard would have assigned a nurse or two to look after Khan while he attended other patients, or returned to his quarters for a much-needed rest. Of course he didn't have that option right now. When the captain had stopped by to let the doctor know that Spock was all right (though Leonard could tell that Jim didn't really believe that), Jim had offered to sit with the augment for a while so Leonard could take a nap. But the doctor had declined the offer. Leonard wanted to be available at a moment's notice in case there was a change in Khan's condition, or an unforeseen complication, to deal with. He didn't want to take any chances this time, in case there was something he'd missed...

He didn't want to make the same mistake again.

The doctor frowned slightly as he paused in reorganizing supplies that didn't really need to be reorganized. It wasn't his fault that he'd erred. He knew that. There was no way he could have known about the implants. Leonard had known there was something wrong with Khan, and he had run every test he could think of (that the augment had allowed him to) in order to figure out what it was. But there had been no reason to run a deep bone scan. It simply wasn't a common procedure unless there was a broken bone involved, and there had never been any signs of fractures before. If Khan had told him about the pain, maybe it would have given him a clue, or at least made Leonard broaden his search to find the cause. Just as if the augment had told them the full extent of his ability to heal, practically the ability to come back from the dead, maybe Leonard wouldn't have found out about it in the fucking morgue while he'd been ready to autopsy the man!

Leonard sighed. At the time Khan had not really been in any condition to be forthcoming about such things. And afterwards... Well, could he really blame the man for not trusting him after what they had rescued him from? Honestly, Leonard couldn't believe what some of the medical personnel of Starfleet or Section 31 or whoever they were had done to this man. They'd infected him with all those different viruses, they'd cut him up, and implanted him with that torture device! Were they all insane? How could they do that to any living being, much less one who was, for all intents and purposes, human?

A low groan made the doctor turn to look in surprise at the unconscious man on the biobed. Leonard was at Khan's side quickly with a tricorder in his hand. The readings made the doctor relax a little: still stable. In fact, there was surprising improvement from the last scan he had taken. No sign of pain. He just hadn't expected the augment to show signs of waking so soon. Leonard almost laughed at himself. He should probably know better by now than to underestimate Khan.

It was another hour however, before the augment's dark eyelashes fluttered and his eyes slowly slid open. Leonard stood within Khan's field of vision, but not so close as to appear threatening. At least that's what he hoped. Khan blinked, his eyes slow to focus. His hands twitched. Well, that was promising; Leonard had been afraid there might have been nerve damage due to that damned device. The doctor noted the exact moment when Khan realized he was restrained, his body tensed and his eyes grew wide in alarm.

"Hey, now. Take it easy. You're safe," Leonard said in the most soothing tone he could muster, hoping the augment wouldn't start fighting. Really, the restraints were as much for Khan's protection as theirs. Until Leonard managed to heal all the fractured bones, he couldn't risk the man further injuring himself if he woke in a panic. The last thing he wanted was to be on the wrong end of a disorientated and panicking augment again.

Khan's eyes snapped to him, still wide and a little unfocussed, but clarity was gradually returning to them. The augment froze, tense and wary, which didn't dissipate even when Leonard saw recognition flicker in Khan's eyes.

"Why am I here..." Khan's hoarse voice was barely a whisper, and the augment seemed genuinely surprised how rough it was. Leonard left the augment's bedside for a moment to fetch a cup of water for him. Khan eyed him mistrustfully when Leonard held it for him to drink, but eventually the augment began to sip at the cool liquid.

"What's the last thing you remember?" The doctor asked when Khan had finished the water.

Khan frowned, but this time it seemed to be in thought rather than irritation.

"Cold Station 12..." the augment said. He blinked several times and his frown deepened. "I retrieved the information from the computer then went to see if the others had found you, the captain, and the Vulcan."

Leonard almost smirked. Well, that was deliberately vague. But given what had happened afterwards, the doctor's amusement faded quickly.

"After that?" Leonard prompted. Khan began to look almost distressed, and that was probably proof enough that the man was still more than a little disorientated by everything.

"I don't..." Khan whispered, shaking his head.

"Long story short, you killed a man, and we had to stun you. I can't say for sure if the stun itself triggered it, or just made it worse, but you collapsed screaming in agony. We got you back to the ship and I found out why. At some point you were implanted with a device that picked up signals from your brain and relayed them to sensors that had been drilled into your bones. They were sending pulses of energy through every nerve in your body, causing you pain. I'm almost positive those implants are what's been causing all your other physical problems, like slowing your rate of regeneration as well." Leonard explained things as best he could, wondering if the augment had known about the implants before. From the expression of shock on Khan's face, he could guess the man didn't, but he asked anyway.

"Did you know about the implants?"

Khan shook his head slowly.

"But you've experienced the pain before, haven't you?" The doctor asked, trying his best not to sound accusing. Though from the look Khan flashed him, maybe he wasn't completely successful.

"Yes... But I did not think..."

"What?" Leonard prompted as gently as possible.

"I thought the pain was in my mind alone," Khan admitted, and Leonard's eyes widened in shock.

"You thought the pain was psychosomatic?" Leonard definitely hadn't been expecting that. "Has that happened before?"

Khan gave a slow nod.

"When I was a child, sometimes I would dream about the...tests...and when I woke, I would feel the pain as though it were still happening," Khan said quietly, his eyes and voice sounding distant. A moment later, the augment seemed to remember himself and frowned again. He threw a glare at the doctor for good measure, as though Leonard had tricked him somehow into revealing that memory. Maybe in a way, Leonard had; Khan was obviously confused and not himself. Which was why he decided to apologize.

"I'm sorry," Leonard said, and watched as Khan's expressions flickered from angry, shocked, and confused, all within a split second of each other. The doctor didn't think he'd ever seen Khan's face so expressive before, just another indication of how unwell the man must still be feeling. "You should try to get some more sleep. I can give you something that might make it easier, if you want."

Khan looked at him for a long moment before finally giving a faint nod. Leonard prepared a hypo and gently administered it. Despite all of Jim's squawking, Leonard was capable of giving a painless injection. As he went back to straightening things that didn't need to be straightened, he heard Khan whisper so softly he wasn't sure whether or not he imagined it.

"Thank you, Doctor."

But when Leonard turned to look at him, Khan's eyes were already closed.


	9. Chapter 9

Khan woke with a sharp gasp, instinctively struggling against the bindings keeping him strapped to the medical bed. The augment's heart pounded in his chest and adrenaline burned through his veins like fire. The restraints creaked ominously but they did not budge. His eyes darted around the room wildly, taking in everything in an instant, and yet it took a surprisingly long time before he recognized where he was.

Medbay... Not a lab...

He stilled as he realized that the remembered pain from his dreams had not followed him into the waking world. Not this time at least. It was always far more difficult to regain his bearings when that happened. His body still felt sore and generally unwell after the damage it had sustained due to the implants inside of him, but it was nothing compared to the agony he'd been put through the last several days due to the device.

Pale eyes finally came to rest on the figure standing next to his bed and Khan frowned.

"What are you doing here?" the augment demanded, earning him a raised eyebrow from the young captain hovering over him.

"Well, hello to you too," the young man replied sarcastically, giving Khan a somewhat lopsided grin that did not really reach his eyes.

"Where is Dr. McCoy?" Khan demanded again, in no mood to play games.

"Dr. McCoy is taking a well-deserved rest. He's been looking after you virtually nonstop for the past thirty-six hours. I volunteered to keep an eye on you till he gets back." Kirk frowned. "Are you feeling all right? Do you want me to get him?"

Khan considered a moment before finally shaking his head. It wasn't as though he particularly enjoyed the doctor's company, after all. But it was bad enough for the doctor to witness these episodes without the rest of Kirk and his crew wandering in here to gawk at him like some kind of circus freak.

A little like Kirk was staring at him now. Khan's expression hardened and the glare he threw at Kirk was unforgiving.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you it is rude to stare?" Khan snapped and Kirk blinked several times, clearly taken aback. For a moment the young man didn't seem to know whether to express contriteness or amusement at his words. Seeing that he was serious, Kirk's expression finally settled on embarrassed guilt.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable or anything. I'm just concerned..."

"Concerned?" Khan parroted, scoffing at the word. Kirk frowned at him.

"Yes, concerned." Kirk repeated, sounding a little more irritated than before. Then the young man surprisingly laughed. "Though, if you're feeling well enough to be an asshole, I guess that means you're feeling a little better at least. So that's good."

Not quite knowing how to respond to that, Khan was quiet for a long time.

"I am feeling well enough that I do not need to be observed like a toddler every minute of every hour. I wish to be alone," Khan finally said, not hopeful it would be that easy to make Kirk leave, and he was right. Something like genuine regret crossed the young man's features before he spoke again.

"Sorry, but I promised Bones I'd keep an eye on you. You've no idea how hard it was to get him agree to take a break; he feels really bad about missing those implants for so long, you know." Again, Khan wasn't quite sure what to say. Kirk didn't seem to expect him to say anything, however, because he continued. "Besides, like it or not, I think you need looking after right now so you don't accidentally hurt yourself. That nightmare looked pretty bad."

Kirk looked a little uncomfortable, and finally it dawned on Khan what - or who - had woken him.

"You woke me."

Kirk gave a small nod, avoiding looking into the augment's eyes. He touched Khan's wrist above one of the restraints and Khan flinched a little in spite of himself. Kirk frowned again.

"That looks like it hurts," The young man stated, almost to himself, and Khan didn't need to look down to know that his wrists, and anywhere else the restraints kept him strapped to the biobed, were probably deeply bruised. Although the restraints were padded, that didn't matter when he'd fought against them so strenuously. The nightmare had indeed been one of the worst he'd had in a long time, and he hated that Kirk had been witness to it. To see his weakness...

Kirk's eyes finally met his own once more.

"If I take these off, are you going to do anything stupid?" the young man asked, and Khan blinked in surprise, shocked by the offer. But then he immediately frowned again, suspicious.

"Define stupid," he deadpanned, earning him a small chuckle from Kirk.

"Just tell me you're not going to try to make some kind of grand escape attempt from the medbay," Kirk replied, smiling. At Khan's disbelieving look, he chuckled again. "What? I would."

"If you are so worried about that, why offer to unbind me in the first place?" Khan asked, still suspicious. Kirk's expression sobered somewhat.

"I want to put some ointment on these bruises, and I think the chance for you to stretch a little will do you a world of good," Kirk stated, and Khan could sense no deception in his words. Still, he couldn't help but question the genuineness of the offer. "What? You don't think I can handle that? I am a Starfleet captain; we all take a basic first aid course at the academy."

"I don't question your ability. I question your intentions," Khan admitted, and Kirk's eyebrows nearly shot into his hairline.

"My intentions?"

"I expected you to be...angry...about Cold Station 12." At Khan's words Kirk blinked several times before comprehension seemed to dawn on his handsome face, followed quickly by something close to distress. Kirk took a deep breath, rubbing a hand across his brow, not looking at the augment for long moments, before the young man turned his attention back to Khan. When he did, he leaned so close to Khan that the young man had to put his hands on either side of his head on the biobed to keep from falling on him. He looked straight into Khan's eyes, making sure the augment couldn't look away either. Khan couldn't help but tense.

"Listen to me carefully, Khan. If you think I'm not pissed off at you about what happened on Cold Station 12, then you're wrong. But we'll deal with that later. Right now you're hurt, and I'm sure as hell not going to deny you medical attention just because I'm angry with you. I don't get off on seeing people in pain, not even you, and I'm a little insulted you'd imply that," he stated firmly, and it was one of those rare moments that Khan could see why so many followed James Tiberius Kirk so faithfully.

"I...apologize," Khan muttered. Kirk nodded and leaned back, giving Khan room to breathe again.

"So, are you going to be stupid, or..." The young man was grinning again, probably at the clever irony of calling an augment 'stupid' in any situation. Khan refused to be baited however.

"I will 'behave' myself," Khan agreed, because he truly did wish to be unbound. He understood the restraints were probably necessary, given how violent he could become and the harm he could potentially cause during a nightmare. He couldn't blame the doctor for taking such precautions. But understanding didn't make it any easier to bear. Nor did the knowledge that he probably wouldn't be harmed by Dr. McCoy, Kirk, or any of the other crew. It didn't make him feel any less helpless, given past experience, and it was all he could do to hold onto what little composure he had being restrained like this.

"All right," Kirk stated and deactivated the restraints. "I'll get the ointment. If you're going to sit up, do it carefully, okay? Bones will kill me if I let you fall out of bed or something." The young man wandered over to one of the supply cabinets and began rummaging through it. Khan decided to take the other man's advice and sat up slowly. He felt a little light-headed at first, but it faded after a few deep breaths. By then Kirk had returned to his side.

"Lemme see your wrist," Kirk instructed, and Khan obediently lifted his arm for inspection. The young man pushed up the loose white hospital shirt to expose the dark purple ring of bruises around his wrist and frowned. Khan watched silently as Kirk opened the tube of ointment and began applying the substance to his damaged skin with a light touch. When Kirk had finished rubbing the ointment thoroughly into the flesh around his wrist, the young man pushed the sleeve of his shirt up further to expose his bicep where another strap had been. There were more bruises, but they were not as bad. Still, that did not stop Kirk from applying more of the ointment to his upper arm.

Finished with one arm, Kirk repeated the process on the other.

"All right. Lie down again for a second," Kirk ordered, and though Khan gave a slight frown, he found himself obeying, curiosity perhaps motivating him more than anything. When Kirk started to push up his shirt to expose his stomach, Khan hissed in a sharp breath and his hand caught Kirk's wrist in a grip that probably left its own bruises on the captain's flesh. His glare could have burned holes through solid titanium.

Kirk's eyes went a little wide at the reaction, and he stared at the augment for a long time before speaking.

"Can you lift up your shirt? I just want to check for more bruising. I promise." Kirk spoke gently, not moving, not even to try to pull out of the grip Khan had on him. Eventually Khan loosened his hold on the younger man. He didn't apologize, but he did as the captain asked, pulling up his shirt to expose his chest. There were definitely bruises across his torso from the restraints. Kirk winced a little.

"Will you let me put some of this on? I'll be quick, and you can drop your shirt when I'm done." Kirk asked and Khan gave a reluctant nod of his head. As promised Kirk was quick, but still careful, as he applied the ointment to Khan's chest.

"You're going to have to start eating more. You're too damned skinny already and Bones said your metabolism is starting to pick up again. Are you hungry now? We have a replicator on the ship. What would you like?" Kirk babbled as he worked, and Khan wondered if it was the young man's way of trying to distract him from what he was doing.

"I'm not hungry," Khan replied flatly. Kirk finished with the ointment and Khan pushed his shirt down. Kirk moved towards the other end of the bed.

"I'm going to check your ankles now, if that's all right," Kirk said, and Khan gave another slight nod. Kirk pushed up the leg of the hospital pants and began applying the ointment to the bruised appendage before continuing. "Are you sure you're not hungry? I can program the replicator to make you just about anything. You look like a steak and potatoes kind of guy. Roast chicken? How about a cheeseburger? Fish and chips?"

"I said I am not..." Khan's stomach chose that moment to betray him by rumbling hungrily, earning him a surprisingly smug grin from the captain. Kirk had done that on purpose. Khan sighed in irritation. "Very well, I will eat. Choose whatever you want, I do not care."

Kirk grinned again in triumph.

"Soon as we're done here," Kirk answered, and he finished rubbing the ointment carefully around one ankle and then the other. Khan had to admit the ointment was effective, the bruises already felt less tender, though he was still resentful he needed such medication at all. Under normal circumstances, the speed with which he regenerated would prevent bruises from even forming on his skin. He hated that he needed to be tended to like this. Hated how weak he had become.

Kirk tucked the blanket back around his feet and went to put away the ointment.

"All right, one feast coming up," the younger man announced, before he went over to fiddle with the replicator. All too soon, admittedly delicious smells began to fill the medbay, and Kirk returned with the promised feast. Khan couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the nearly overflowing plate of food on the tray Kirk sat on his lap. There was a thick cut of steak, a heaping pile of mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, peas, a large slice of garlic bread, and even a slice of apple pie for dessert.

"I doubt Dr. McCoy would approve of your choice of hospital food," Khan muttered and Kirk laughed.

"You're damned right about that, so enjoy it while you can," Kirk replied, sounding far too pleased with himself. He took a seat next to Khan's bed. Despite hating the feeling of being stared at, Khan began to eat, and as soon as the first, almost hesitant bites of food passed his lips, he began to practically inhale the rest of his meal. Before he knew it, the entire tray was clean and Kirk was giving him a rather impressed look.

"I guess that means your appetite is back. More?" Kirk offered and Khan nodded.

Three trays of food later, Khan still wasn't slowing down, and Kirk was openly staring again.

"I told you it was rude to stare," Khan stated around a mouthful, and Kirk laughed.

"Sorry, I'm just wondering where the hell you're putting it all," Kirk said, clearly amused, staring at Khan's stomach like it was the Eighth Wonder of the World.

"My legs are hollow," Khan deadpanned again, still shoveling food into his face, and Kirk stared at him for a long moment before he burst into laughter again. Khan had to admit, it was not an unpleasant sound.

"Oh my god, you've got a sense of humor after all. Who knew?" Kirk snickered. Khan narrowed his eyes at Kirk, but that only seemed to delight the young man even more, probably because Kirk sensed that Khan was not truly irritated with him this time. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."

Khan snorted softly and went back to his meal, eating more slowly now, as he was growing a little full by this point. He was definitely pleased however, at this unexpected turn of events. He'd been feeling unwell for so long, it was almost shocking to realize that he was feeling better. His body was craving sustenance, which was actually normal during periods of rapid healing; his body needed the energy to repair itself from somewhere, after all. But persistently feeling ill had prevented him from eating even small amounts, much less what his body would require to regenerate properly.

Perhaps it meant this nightmare of being trapped by his own wounded flesh was finally coming to an end. Khan glanced down at his wrist and noted the bruising already seemed to have faded somewhat.

He felt a smile pulling at his lips in spite of himself, and he didn't even care if Kirk saw it.


	10. Chapter 10

Khan was asleep again.

Jim sat in the chair next to the augment's bed, his elbows resting on his knees, and his chin resting on his folded hands. He wore a troubled frown as he watched the faint twitches Khan's body gave periodically and how the augment's face was pinched in discomfort, the man far from relaxed in his slumber. Whatever the man was dreaming about, it definitely wasn't pleasant, but at least he wasn't thrashing and screaming in his sleep.

Yet.

A small shudder passed through Jim remembering when he'd been forced to wake the man from whatever nightmare had gripped him earlier. Jim was a bit surprised the whole ship hadn't come running due to how loud Khan had been screaming. He had been thrashing so hard it was a miracle the augment hadn't torn the biobed - or himself - apart in the process. How Khan had managed to sleep through that was yet another mystery.

He had finally managed to wake Khan, but it was pretty obvious that the man was still upset even once he was conscious. So was Jim, to be honest, but he probably hid it a lot better from Khan than the other man had been able to hide it from him. Khan had been practically civil towards him, and knowing that had less to do with trust and more to do with how he simply didn't have the energy to put up the front he usually did was almost more disturbing than anything.

Almost more disturbing.

Jim sighed heavily as he watched the slow rise and fall of Khan's chest. What had been done to the man was nothing short of horrific. Just when Jim thought it couldn't possibly get any worse, somehow, it got worse.

As his discussion with Khan before the augment had gone back to sleep played over and over in his mind, guilt twisted sharply in the pit of his stomach.

* * *

"I don't understand," Jim blurted out suddenly, stacking the empty plates and trays of food he'd brought Khan on the counter so he could take them to be washed later.

"Why am I not surprised." Khan's insult lacked any real heat, so Jim merely rolled his eyes at the other man instead of being offended.

"I'm serious. That place we rescued you from. They'd been injecting you with all these different incurable viruses, using your advanced immune system to harvest antibodies, right?" Jim didn't notice right away how Khan's expression closed off. "So why implant those things inside of you that obviously compromised your ability to heal?"

Jim looked at Khan, but the man wasn't looking at him. Instead Khan was staring at the far wall with unseeing eyes. Jim frowned.

"Khan?"

Khan seemed to come back to himself after a moment, blinking and then scowling hard.

"I do not believe the implants were active at the time you liberated me from that lab." Khan finally replied softly.

"When, then?"

"When do you think?" Khan suddenly snapped, glaring at Jim with blazing eyes. "When those fools attempted to kidnap me from New Vulcan, most likely they were given the ability to activate the implants to make it easier to subdue me."

Khan shook his head, clenching his hands into fists. The anger radiating off of him was terrifying. Jim wanted to kick himself. It was stupid of him to have said anything. For a few moments Khan had actually seemed to relax, and now...

"As though I was not already helpless enough." Khan practically snarled the words. "I had thought they meant to kill me. After the viruses, I thought they would have no more use for me. I would finally be..."

Free. Khan had thought he would finally be free. Even if it meant dying.

"But even that was not enough."

* * *

 

Never enough... How could one man suffer so much?

_I bet your pet augment is a lot more mellow than he used to be. He wasn't nearly so proud anymore once we got him on his knees._

Jim grit his teeth recalling what that Section 31 operative had told him. He had hoped, naively perhaps, for Khan's sake, that the man had simply been trying to get a rise out of him. But after what Khan had done to that man on Cold Station 12, and how Spock had reacted from the mind meld he'd shared with Khan...

Jim shut his eyes and took a calming breath.

Dealing with Khan always seemed to leave Jim on edge even at the best of times, though he pretended otherwise, not wanting to give the augment the satisfaction of how much he unsettled Jim. He just had so many mixed feelings regarding the Khan. He certainly hadn't forgiven the man for killing his friend and mentor, Christopher Pike. Directly, or indirectly, Khan had also been the cause of many deaths among his crew, not to mention Jim's own death. He never imagined when all this started that he would see Khan - of all people - as a victim in all this. He'd been as much a victim, or even more so, than Jim and his crew had been of Marcus' plans.

Jim didn't have to agree with what Khan had done, but he found he no longer blame the man for his actions. If Jim had been put through even a fraction of what Khan had, he might have reacted very similarly. And Jim didn't even know everything the augment had been through, he wasn't sure he wanted to know. But anything that could make a man like Khan scream in his sleep...

Yeah, Jim would take Khan being a superior jackass any day compared to that.

Khan twitched again in his sleep, a low moan escaping his throat as his face scrunched up in discomfort. Jim found himself reaching out before he knew what he was doing, letting his fingers brush lightly over Khan's hand where it was bunched in the bedclothes beneath him. He felt the augment flinch at the touch, his body only held in place by the restraints keeping him strapped down. Jim hated that he'd had to put them back on, but they couldn't take the risk of keeping Khan unbound. Especially not after the last time when Khan had nearly killed Bones, destroyed the medbay, and nearly shot himself and Jim out of an airlock. Jim didn't think Khan would do that again, but it was still better to be safe than sorry.

Khan's hand twitched again underneath his own, as though the other man were trying to pull away, and Jim almost pulled his hand back, not sure if he was doing more harm than good. When Khan was awake he'd made it pretty obvious he didn't like being touched, though he had tolerated it. Then again... It had been what had brought the augment around before when nothing else seemed to.

Shouting at the man, even shaking him, hadn't been able to get through to Khan. In fact, it had only seemed to make the other man fight harder to get away. Jim had been truly afraid that Khan was going to break something, his bones already having hundreds of hairline fractures spread all through them, it wouldn't take much. Jim was surprised it hadn't happened yet. He wasn't sure what finally made him take Khan's hand in a firm but gentle grip and softening his voice as he whispered reassuringly to the thrashing man. His other hand somehow found its way into Khan's hair, brushing back the sweat-damp strands from the augment's face. At first Khan had grasped his hand so tightly that Jim was afraid he was the one who was going to end up with broken bones. But gradually Khan had begun to grow quiet. Even though he didn't completely relax, he had stopped fighting against the restraints holding him down. As uncomfortable as it had made him feel, Jim hadn't stopped what he was doing until Khan finally showed signs of waking.

Jim worried his lower lip between his teeth as he continued to lightly brush the back of Khan's hand with his fingertips. He wasn't sure what he was feeling now. Yeah, it was still uncomfortable touching Khan like this, but as the augment's face gradually relaxed into a more restful slumber, the tense fingers under his own slowly loosening their white-knuckled grip on the sheets beneath him. Jim couldn't help but feel relieved, even as he stared at the older man in confusion, bordering on disbelief.

Was it just because the gentle touch and soft words, promising comfort and safety, were so different from anything that Khan had recently experienced that they penetrated through the mental anguish when nothing else could? Could it be anyone touching Khan like this, or was it because it was Jim's touch?

Jim swallowed hard.

That was not something he wanted to think about. It was one thing to admit, purely subjectively, that Khan was attractive. He already endured the augment's outrageous...flirting...if that was even the right word for it. He knew that the man was only doing it to make Jim uncomfortable or an attempt to manipulate him. Maybe he should even encourage it a little, if only to manipulate Khan in return, making the augment believe he had the upper hand so he would let down his guard. It might be a good thing to seek out the man's company in order to build some kind of tenuous trust between them so that when this was all over maybe Khan wouldn't stab them all in the back literally or figuratively. But it was another thing to...

Jim cut the thought off before it could fully form. It was insane anyway. He was just tired, and like it or not, he was emotionally invested in what Khan was going through. Anyone who had even the smallest bit of conscience would be.

_Despite your attempt to convince me otherwise, you seem to have a conscience, Mr. Kirk._

All right, fine, so he felt sorry for Khan. Did that mean he had to hold the bastard's hand?

Even as he admonished himself, Jim still didn't move. At least, not until Bones returned to the medbay to find Jim dozing and still holding Khan's hand.

"Jim?" The doctor's voice and expression was unreadable, and Jim practically fell out of his seat as he rushed to stand and untwine his fingers from Khan's. Bones was looking at him as though he'd lost his mind.

"Hey, Bones! Feeling better? Good. Khan's been sleeping mostly. Woke up earlier from a pretty bad nightmare, but he's been all right since. He ate when he was awake. A lot actually. I think he's doing better. Well, I should go check on Chekov, see how he's coming along decrypting that information from Cold Station 12. Let me know if there's any change, all right? Catch you later, Bones," Jim babbled quickly, not allowing Bones to get a word in edgewise before he rushed out of the medbay.

The doctor's eyes weren't the only ones that followed Jim out of the room.

* * *

True to his word, Jim went to find Chekov, and found the young Russian asleep over the terminal he had been using. The captain couldn't blame the young man; ever since Cold Station 12, Chekov had been working night and day trying to decode the information they'd acquired, but so far the young genius had had little luck.

Shaking the young man awake gently by the shoulder, Jim couldn't help but smile when Chekov startled and nearly fell out of his chair in the process. He immediately blushed a bright red when he saw who'd woken him.

"Ack! Sorry, Keptin. I was just..." The younger man's apology was abruptly cut off by a wide yawn, which only seemed to embarrass the ensign even more. Jim decided to take pity on him.

"It's all right, Chekov. Have you had any luck?" Jim asked, indicating the terminal, and Chekov seemed to perk up immediately. Jim took that as a good sign.

"Yes, Keptin. Some, anyway. I have managed to decode small bits here and there, the encryption is so complex. But look..." Chekov excitedly began typing away at the terminal and Jim pulled over an empty chair to sit next to the young man.

"What happened at Cold Station 12, Keptin, I am not sure it was an accident," Chekov stated gravely and Jim frowned.

"What makes you say that?"

"Like I say, Keptin, I've only managed to decrypt small bits, but the logs are strange. They talk of an inspection that happened only a few weeks ago. But then later the reports indicate several safety fail-safes that malfunctioned, allowing an unknown virus to spread unchecked through the station." Chekov showed him the logs, and Jim had to admit that was a little strange.

"That is not all, Keptin. Twenty-four hours before the distress call was sent, a ship docked with the station. Several personnel transferred to the ship along with some cargo. Hours after the ship departed, the first symptoms of the virus were reported amongst the crew."

Jim sat back and rubbed his hand across his face. Chekov was right. That was a little too big of a coincidence to ignore. It sounded like someone was covering their tracks. The virus outbreak on Cold Station 12, could it be the biological weapon that Khan had been talking about? Could those people left on Cold Station 12 have just been loose ends that Section 31 was tying up? Had it been some kind of test run of the virus? Both? Maybe they hadn't expected anyone to live long enough to get a distress call out. Or they hadn't expected anyone to respond in time to send help. But when they had, the Solace and her crew had to be taken care of too.

Jim felt sick to his stomach.

"Does it say what the cargo was?" Jim asked.

"Not specifically, Keptin. Biological. Samples of an unspecified hazardous material and nearly two thousand frozen embryos." Chekov answered.

Jim sat up sharply at that.

"Embryos? Are you sure?"

"Yes, Keptin."

Spock had said the research facility had once been used to study pathogens and for the storage of embryos of 20th century augments from the Eugenics Wars. But the embryos were reported destroyed after a failed attempt to steal them from the facility.

"Shit..."


	11. Chapter 11

"Just one more test and we'll be finished for the day," Leonard told the man sitting shirtless on the edge of the examination table. Khan inclined his head, frowning in displeasure, but didn't comment. Leonard knew the man wasn't thrilled by all the tests the doctor insisted on performing to ensure his continued improvement, but so far he had not protested.

In fact, the augment had been far more cooperative during the doctor's examinations ever since the operation Leonard had performed to deactivate the implants inside of him that had been torturing him for so long. In doing so, apparently Leonard had gained some favor in Khan's eyes. Though the man might occasionally express his disdain with Leonard's profession, especially if Khan felt whatever test or scan the doctor wanted to perform was unnecessary, he didn't outright refuse (or threaten) him anymore. The augment was also far more open with him, answering most of Leonard's questions regarding Khan's unique physiology without protest. Over the last several days, Leonard McCoy had learned a great deal more about the biology of 20th century augments than he would have ever imagined.

Having received what passed for permission from Khan, Leonard activated the bone density scan. It was one of the tests that Khan would have probably deemed 'unnecessary,' but after the doctor's oversight of the implants, Leonard was less inclined to take anything for granted when it came to his patient's health.

Thankfully, the scan was returning the results that Leonard had been expecting. Khan's bones had been completely repaired, and the doctor had not even needed to use the bone-knitting laser for most of the breaks. Once the implants inside of the augment had been deactivated, Khan's health had begun to improve rapidly. His cellular regeneration rate had skyrocketed, his bones, muscles, and nerves repairing themselves at a near exponential rate. Khan's appetite had risen to match it. The augment had been nothing short of ravenous while his body healed, and Khan had recovered much-needed body mass during that time. He was still lean, and it would take time for the augment to recover all of the muscle mass he'd lost, but Leonard had no doubt that he would. Even the vast surgical scars covering the augment's body had begun to fade, now only noticeable now if one knew where to look for them.

For the most part, Leonard was pleased with the augment's progress. The only thing that still concerned the doctor was Khan's sleeping habits. The man only seemed to manage a few hours a night, and Leonard knew that Khan's insistence that he did not require as much sleep as a normal human was only a smokescreen. His nightmares were getting worse, and Leonard wasn't sure what to do about it. He could certainly give the man medication that would help him sleep, but it wouldn't get to the root of the problem. Any time Leonard dared to bring up the issue, Khan was quick to remind him exactly how much of a bastard he could be. Whatever gratitude the augment might feel towards him for his help obviously did not extend that far. Leonard wasn't even sure how to help, even if Khan let him. He'd told Jim before that he wasn't a damned shrink.

Jim... Now there was another sticky issue. The doctor still wasn't quite sure what the hell was going on between the young captain and the augment. At least Leonard hadn't walked in on the pair _holding hands_ again. Though, when Leonard finally managed to confront Jim about it, the young man had insisted that nothing was going on; he'd only done it in an attempt to keep the augment calm while he slept. Leonard would have been inclined to believe him, except for the fact that Jim seemed to be avoiding the medbay ever since then. Leonard knew very well how Jim behaved when the younger man was uncomfortable or feeling guilty about something. Something was definitely going on between the two men, no matter what Jim claimed.

Leonard hoped...it wasn't what it looked like. Surely even Jim couldn't be that stupid. Just then the door to the medbay slid open and Jim walked in.

 _'Speak of the devil,'_ Leonard thought with a mental sigh.

The doctor kept his attention on what he was doing, but that didn't stop him from also keeping an eye on Jim as well. Which was how he noticed how the younger man's eyes took in the augment's half-naked form with more than a passing interest.

Leonard frowned. _'Damn it, Jim...'_

As though sensing the doctor's thoughts, Jim's eyes flickered to Leonard and the young man at least had the good grace to appear contrite at being caught staring.

 _'Don't even think about it.'_ The glare Leonard shot the younger man clearly stated.

Jim's eyebrows arched and the young man shrugged as though to reply, _'I don't know what you're talking about.'_ Which, of course, only made the doctor glare harder at the other man. What the hell did Jim think he was doing? Khan was not a man to be trifled with.

Thankfully Khan completely ignored the silent exchange between the two men, though Leonard doubted he was as oblivious as he pretended.

"All right, we're done. You can get dressed," Leonard announced when the scan was finally completed. The doctor turned his full attention to Jim, giving Khan a moment of privacy to put his clothes back on. "What can I do for you, Jim?" Leonard asked, more to distract the younger man than anything else. Jim was staring again.

"I'm here to escort Khan back to the brig. If you're releasing him from the medbay, that is," Jim replied. Leonard had told Jim earlier that he'd been considering releasing Khan today if his check-up went well. The way the young captain had been avoiding the medbay recently, he certainly hadn't expected Jim to volunteer himself for the duty. Leonard couldn't think of any reason to detain Khan further, however. He also couldn't exactly tell his captain that he didn't think he and Khan should be alone together because he didn't think Jim capable of keeping his hands to himself.

"His examination went well. Physically he's perfectly healthy. He can leave whenever he likes," Leonard answered, leaving the decision up to Khan. While the man was still technically a prisoner and didn't have much of a choice in the matter, he thought it best to at least give Khan an option to voice his opinion on whether he wanted to remain in the medbay a while longer.

"Thank you, doctor," Khan stated, and walked towards Jim, decision apparently made. Leonard sighed again to himself. He was definitely going to have a talk with Jim later and nip whatever this was in the bud.

"So he's definitely recovered now?" Jim asked and the doctor raised an eyebrow. While Jim regularly second-guessed Leonard's medical opinion, it usually only happened when it came to Jim himself rather than others.

"Yes, why?" Leonard asked, but Jim didn't answer him. At least not in words. He simply gave the doctor a slight nod, turned towards Khan, and punched the man hard in the face. Leonard McCoy was too stunned for a moment to react. But then he shouted in alarm, "Jim! What the hell?!"

Khan seemed stunned for a moment as well, staring at the younger man with wide eyes, though it was obvious the punch, as hard as it had been, hadn't hurt him. There wasn't even a mark on his cheek, despite how Jim shook his hand and winced from the pain in his knuckles. Before Leonard could launch into a tirade, Khan lifted his hand in a gesture of silence.

"That was for Cold Station 12," Jim said by way of explanation for his actions. Khan raised an eyebrow but didn't comment. Not even when Jim continued, "If you ever risk the lives of my crew like that again, I'll shoot your ass out of an airlock. Understand me?"

Khan was silent for a time, but then he smiled faintly as though he were genuinely pleased by something, and nodded. "Of course, Captain."

Jim gave a sharp nod in return. "All right, then. Let's go."

As the young man led the augment out of the medbay Leonard shook his head in disbelief and ran his fingers through his hair. He had a feeling he was going to need a good stiff drink when this was all over.

* * *

Jim led the way through the ship's corridors towards the brig and Khan followed behind him docilely. Jim almost laughed at that thought. Khan docile? Not in a million years. But Jim didn't expect any trouble from the other man, and though the phaser at his hip was active and ready, he didn't think he was going to need it. Jim snorted softly to himself. Several weeks ago he never would have trusted Khan enough to willingly turn his back on the man, especially considering - according to Bones - Khan's recovery of his augmented strength and healing. Not to mention the punch Jim had thrown, if he needed any more proof. The augment could easily overpower Jim in a few seconds if he'd wanted to. Things had definitely changed. The only question was, which one of them had changed more: was it Jim for trusting Khan not to take advantage, or Khan for not taking advantage when the opportunity arose?

Jim glanced back at the augment and he wasn't surprised to find Khan staring at him intently. Unfortunately the man's expression gave Jim no clue as to what he might be thinking. If nothing else, Khan had one hell of a poker face. The augment finally raised an eyebrow in question, and Jim cleared his throat and faced forward again. He could practically feel the other man smirking at his back.

He supposed it was only fair, given how he'd stared unashamedly at the augment when Khan had been sitting in the medbay half-naked. Jim hadn't really been able to help it; Khan looked so much better now; it had been impossible for Jim not to stare. So Jim couldn't really complain for getting similar treatment, and refused to squirm under the other man's intense gaze.

At least there was no one else around to see it this time. Bones was probably going to give Jim hell later. The doctor had obviously gotten the wrong idea. There wasn't anything going on between Khan and him, not the way Bones thought, at any rate. He was sure Khan was just playing a game with him, and Jim was playing along. Jim didn't think for one second that the augment was seriously interested in him, and even if he was, Jim wasn't interested... Okay, even if Jim _were_ interested...he knew better; he wasn't suicidal.

They arrived at the brig and Jim entered his access code to open Khan's cell. Suddenly his back hit the barrier and before he realized what had happened, he found his wrists pinned beside his head. In a split second, Jim's shocked expression melted away to outrage, and he began to struggle, only to have Khan press his body firmly against him, completely immobilizing him.

"What the fuck...?" Jim sputtered, more angry than alarmed at being trapped like this. He wasn't frightened, however, in spite of his better judgment. And even though Khan's smirk was practically predatory.

"You may not realize, Captain, in certain cultures your actions in the medbay could be considered the initiation of a mating ritual." Khan's voice was low and deep, practically purring over the syllables, and Jim felt a warm shiver run down his spine. He had no doubt that Khan's aim was to fluster him, and Jim refused to give the man the satisfaction.

"What culture?" Jim shot back, scowling stubbornly. Khan leaned in closer and Jim's heart began to pound. Khan could probably feel it against his own chest, they were pressed so close. Jim felt the other man's breath against his lips.

"Klingon," Khan whispered, and Jim couldn't help but laugh. It wasn't easy to read Khan most of the time, but the look of amusement in the augment's eyes told him it was intentional. Jim wasn't sure he'd ever get used to Khan's sense of humor.

"What do you call this then?" Jim asked sarcastically. Jim tested the augment's hold on him, but Khan didn't budge an inch. In response Khan's grip around his wrists tightened and Jim winced slightly. He wouldn't be surprised if the augment's fingers were leaving a ring of bruises in his flesh. Again, Jim knew he should feel alarmed, but he wasn't. If he didn't know better, he'd call Khan's expression almost playful.

"Foreplay." Khan's reply was so soft it was barely more than a puff of air across Jim's mouth, but it still caused Jim's entire body to flush. A soft groan escaped the younger man in spite of himself. As abruptly as Khan had grabbed him, the elder man suddenly released him and walked into his cell. Jim remained standing where he was, breathing heavily and half-hard. Khan had definitely won that round. Jim just wished he knew what the hell the rules were, and what exactly they were playing for.

Jim pushed away from the glass barrier and locked Khan inside. He didn't look at Khan as he moved towards the exit, but that didn't stop Khan's amused voice from trailing after him.

"Until next time, Captain."

* * *

Jim decided to take the long way to the bridge to make sure he was presentable again before facing his crew.

"Keptin!" Chekov rushed up to Jim as soon as he left the turbolift. Spock followed the energetic young ensign at a more controlled pace. "We've found it, Keptin!"

"Found what?" Jim asked. It was his first officer that answered.

"We have extrapolated from the data gained from the infiltration of Cold Station 12, the most likely destination of the supply ship that departed from the station before the outbreak occurred," Spock stated calmly, and Chekov chimed in excitedly.

"That is not all, Keptin! We have been in contact with an informant within Starfleet and they believe the location is also the most likely place the cryotubes containing Khan's crew have been stored!" Now Jim understood why Chekov was so excited. Jim hadn't expected it would be so easy to find Khan's crew. If it were true, Khan would likely want to investigate immediately. But after Cold Station 12, Jim was wary of jumping to conclusions with so little information to go on. Especially when they had no idea who it was safe to trust inside Starfleet.

"Who is the informant?" Jim asked Spock, and he thought he saw approval flash in the Vulcan's eyes before he replied.

"They are still on the com if you wish to speak to them yourself, Captain." Spock's unusually cryptic reply had Jim raising an eyebrow and Jim turned to Uhura.

"On screen, Lieutenant."

Jim didn't deny his surprise when the image on the screen clarified.

"Hello, Captain," the young blonde woman addressed him with a warm smile.

"Nice to see you again, Dr. Marcus," he replied.


	12. Chapter 12

Jim decided to take the comm from Dr. Marcus in his private ready room rather than on the bridge. He had not seen or spoken to the young woman since she had visited him briefly in Starfleet Medical. Honestly, he had been a bit surprised by her visit at the time, considering how events on the _Vengeance_ had unfolded. No matter what Admiral Marcus had done, he was still her father, and arguments could be made that Jim had been indirectly responsible for his death. She had not seemed angry with him however, when she came to see him, wishing him well on his road to recovery.

He could only imagine what she thought about everything that had happened recently. This couldn't possibly be easy on her.

"Dr. Marcus, thank you again for your help," Jim told the young woman once they were alone. "It means a great deal to us. To me. "

She smiled at him warmly, even though there was a lingering sadness in her eyes.

"Of course, Captain. It's the least I can do. I am just glad I am able to help any way I can."

Despite the fact that Spock had already informed him that Carol was aware of their situation, and how dangerous helping them might be, Jim felt the need to reassure himself that she understood exactly what she was signing up for. He didn't want her to think she _had_ to help them because of any perceived obligation. It wasn't as though Jim was her commanding officer right now. In all truth, he never had been, considering she had forged her transfer orders in order to board his ship.

"Just Jim, Dr. Marcus. I'm not really anyone's captain right now," Jim said, worry slipping into his tone. "This could be very dangerous, and I don't want you to think-"

"I know that, Jim. And I think it's only fair that you call me Carol. My father started all of this. I want to see it put to right," she said and Jim couldn't help but wince slightly at her words.

"You're not responsible for your father's actions, Carol."

"Just like you're not responsible for his death, Jim," she replied without missing a beat, and Jim couldn't help but wince again. No, he might not be responsible. But Khan was. The man Jim was now trying to help. That couldn't be easy for her to accept, especially considering Jim's mixed feelings regarding the augment. Sometimes Jim honestly couldn't blame Khan for doing what he had done to Admiral Marcus. After everything that man had put Khan through...

Before he could speak, she continued, "My father was not always the man you saw. I don't know when he lost his way so badly. You are trying to undo some of his mistakes. I need to do the same."

Jim nodded in understanding.

"The security clearance my father gave me before he died hasn't yet been revoked, so I've been able to keep track of the cryotubes, just like I was able to trace the torpedoes to your ship. They've been moved around a lot, but now they're at a Starfleet research station called Regula I. Honestly, there have been a lot of strange shipments to that facility. I'm certain you'll find what you're looking for there."

"Thank you, Carol."

"If I learn anything else, I'll be in touch again. Good luck, Captain," she said and signed off.

Now came the hard part.

Jim wasn't expecting to have to face Khan again so soon after their earlier, rather uncomfortable exchange in the brig. But he also hadn't expected to receive the information he just had. Khan's crew... If what Carol said was true, they needed to move fast.

Jim stood up and left the ready room and headed for the turbolift, even though he wasn't quite sure what he was going to say to the augment yet. When Spock joined him in the turbolift Jim was a little surprised. The half-Vulcan had been avoiding Khan like the plague ever since he had gotten a peek into the augment's head during that mind meld. The same mind meld Spock still refused to discuss with him, or anyone else.

"Captain, may I speak freely?" the half-Vulcan asked as soon as the turbolift doors closed behind them.

"When do you not speak freely, Mr. Spock?" Jim joked in an attempt to diffuse some of the tension. Though the effort was apparently wasted as the Vulcan merely arched an eyebrow at him.

"I infer from your haste and plausible destination that you plan to divulge the information of the location of Khan's crew to him," Spock said, and Jim couldn't deny he was surprised by the statement. It hadn't even occurred to him _not_ to tell Khan.

"You don't think I should."

"In light of recent events, Captain, Khan has proven himself less than trustworthy. You have admitted yourself that once he no longer needs our assistance, he will most likely attempt to betray us again. I believe giving Khan the location of his crew would only hasten that outcome." Even though it made Jim uncomfortable to hear it, Spock did have a point.

Khan was unstable at best. When it came to the man's crew, there was nothing the augment wouldn't do. He'd proved that much time and again; they were the only thing Khan really cared about. Anyone Khan deemed in his way, even Jim and his crew, would be considered expendable. Jim had thought he would have more time to try to win Khan over, to show the man they were on the same side, at least for the time being. It made sense to keep this new information from the augment. But what if Khan discovered that Jim knew about his crew's location and kept it a secret from him? Khan would see it as another betrayal in a long line of betrayals, and all bets would be off.

Jim sighed in frustration, dragging his hand along the back of his neck. "I'm going to tell him, Spock." Jim came to the decision. Spock opened his mouth, but Jim raised a hand to stall any protests. "I understand your concerns, believe me. But if he found out we kept this information from him, the outcome would be worse; it wouldn't be a question anymore that he _might_ betray us. He'd see it as a betrayal and turn on us in a heartbeat."

Spock seemed to ponder this. Logically Jim knew his argument made sense, but the Vulcan still didn't seem all that convinced.

"Trust me, Spock. This is the lesser of evils," Jim added, and the half-Vulcan finally nodded.

"Very well, Captain," Spock stated. Jim half-expected the other man to return to the bridge once the turbolift arrived at the brig, but Spock continued at his side all the way to Khan's cell.

The augment was kneeling in the center of his cell in a meditative pose that Jim knew well by this point. However Khan looked up at him as soon as Jim entered the brig. If he was surprised to see Jim again so soon, with Spock at his side no less, he did not show it other than a slight incline of his head that appeared almost thoughtful.

"Something has happened," Khan guessed correctly, before Jim had the chance to speak. The younger man nodded, even though it hadn't really been a question.

"We've received information from a reliable source. We have a possible location of at least some of the cryotubes containing your crew," Jim stated, and if he hadn't been looking for it, he would have missed the sudden intake of breath that betrayed Khan's surprise. The intensity of those blue-green eyes focused on Jim was indescribable.

"Where?" Khan's question was more of a demand.

"The Regula I Scientific Research Facility," Jim answered, and he would have to have been blind not to notice the way Khan visibly tensed at the name. The strange thing was, Jim noticed a similar tension fill Spock as well.

"Do you know it?" Jim asked the augment.

Khan nodded. "Very well," he acknowledged, his voice low and nothing short of dangerous. "If my people are there, then their situation is dire, Captain."

The expression on Khan's face was probably as close to pleading as Jim would ever see. Not for himself. Never for himself. Only for his crew. Jim swallowed hard and nodded.

"We will set a course immediately," he told the augment. The flicker of surprise and genuine gratitude in Khan's eyes was all the proof Jim needed to know he'd made the right decision to tell Khan about his crew. "If you have any information about the facility, it will give us a better chance to infiltrate." Without a repeat of the clusterfuck their last mission turned out to be, was more than implied in Jim's tone.

"Of course, Captain."

Jim nodded and turned to leave for the bridge once more. It would take a good part of two days to reach Regula I from their current position. They needed to get on the move now. Especially since he had no doubt that Khan's fears regarding his crew were justified. It took Jim a moment to realize that Spock was not following him out of the brig. The Vulcan was still staring at Khan, the expression on his first officer's face unreadable. Khan had finally seemed to notice Spock's strange behavior and was frowning at the half-Vulcan darkly.

"Spock?" Jim asked, and his concern deepened when his first officer blinked, almost as though he were coming back to himself. If it had been anyone else, Jim might have written it off as a fluke, but one thing Spock was _not_ prone to was day-dreaming.

"Spock..."

"A moment, Captain," Spock interrupted, and Jim was torn. He wanted to ask Spock what was wrong, but he had a feeling he already knew. The mind meld. And Spock had already made it clear he was not willing to discuss what he had seen in Khan's mind. Not with Jim at least. He wasn't sure it was a great idea for Spock to discuss it with Khan either; Spock and Khan weren't exactly on friendly terms to begin with.

"I'll be at the lift," Jim said at length, and Spock gave him a nod of gratitude. He turned and left the brig, giving the two men their privacy, but he was definitely going to ask Spock about this when the Vulcan rejoined him.

* * *

Khan watched Kirk depart before turning his full attention to the Vulcan once more. He did not particularly wish to have a discussion with the other man at this time. His mind was already a whirlwind of plans after the news that Kirk had given him.

His crew...

It could very likely be a trap. In his shock, he'd forgotten to ask exactly where and how Kirk had received his information. A reliable source... The young captain was far too trusting, it was a wonder he'd survived this long. But was Khan any better when he was so easily distracted? Emotions were not an advantage. They clouded the mind. Caused one to make rash decisions. He had already revealed far too much to Kirk. His control had been... erratic, at best. He'd allowed the young man to see him more vulnerable than he had ever allowed anyone. That had been a mistake. One he refused to repeat. He was not weak. He was not a victim. Although, it could serve his purpose to let these men think him thus for now. They would learn their mistake far too late. Just as Marcus had finally learned his error. Khan could not be tamed. He would not be broken.

"What do you want?" Khan finally bit out, impatient at the Vulcan's continued staring.

"You may wish to... enlighten the captain regarding your experiences aboard Regula I. Or at least Dr. McCoy. If your crew members have experienced similar conditions, this knowledge could be useful in their rescue and treatment," the Vulcan answered cautiously and Khan felt his whole body flush with rage.

"What?" His voice was all the more deadly for its perceived calm. At any other time, Khan may have been pleased with the hesitance and caution with which the Vulcan spoke.

"While you were unconscious in the Medbay, it proved necessary for the safety of your treatment to perform a mind meld. I attempted to shield myself to prevent transference of feelings and memories but I was... unprepared for the strength of your mental defenses."

Understanding dawned, and in spite of himself, Khan suddenly felt very cold.

"I was unsure whether or not to speak to you of this, but given the circumstances..." Spock's voice trailed off when Khan began to laugh, and the almost confused expression on the half-Vulcan's face was certainly comical. However that was not the reason he was laughing. Khan chucked again, dark and bitter.

"Of course... I have been violated in every other way possible, why not my mind as well?" Khan's words dripped venom, and Spock reeled back as though he'd been struck. In fact, the other man suddenly looked quite pale. Perhaps he shouldn't be surprised, considering Khan had basically accused Spock of mental rape.

But it made far more sense now: the intensity of his nightmares, the difficulty he was having ignoring the horrors of his past, both recent and things he had long since forced himself to forget... No wonder it was a struggle now to maintain control. The Vulcan had probably clumsily broken down all the mental barriers that he'd painstakingly erected through the years and let the floodgates open. It was no surprise it now felt like he was drowning...

"It was never my intention..." Spock began but Khan cut him off with another dark laugh that contained no humor whatsoever.

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions, Mr. Spock." Khan's voice was barely above a whisper. "Get out."

The other man did not move, and Khan growled.

"Get. Out," Khan repeated, louder this time, and finally the Vulcan left.

Khan closed his eyes and took a deep steadying breath, forcing himself to unclench his fists. Only then did the cuts in his palms from his blunt nails slowly begin to close.


	13. Chapter 13

Jim knew it was a bad idea from the get go. The longer he waited at the lift for Spock to join him, the worse the feeling became. But he still wasn't completely prepared when the half-Vulcan finally strode towards him, his skin pale and his dark eyes a little wild. If he didn't know better, Jim would say the other man looked like he was about to be violently ill...or like he wanted to punch something (or someone). Maybe both.

Fuck...

Jim glanced worriedly back towards the brig area. If Spock was this upset, he was more than a little worried about Khan's state of mind.

"What happened?" Jim asked, as both Spock's captain and his friend. He wasn't prepared to have the Vulcan actually _glare_ at him, and Jim took a step backwards in spite of himself. His reaction must have shocked some sense back into the Vulcan however, because Spock immediately schooled his expression into the blank mask he usually wore.

"Jim..." Spock's mouth opened and closed but no sound emerged, and Jim's uneasiness kicked up another notch. Finally Spock seemed to collect himself. "Forgive me, Captain. I have duties I must attend to," he said and attempted to make his escape to the lift.

Well, to hell with that. Jim quickly followed Spock into the turbolift before the doors could close. Khan could wait. It wasn't like he was going anywhere. Spock had set the lift controls to take him back to the bridge, but Jim hit the emergency stop. Spock had the nerve to give him that damned raised eyebrow.

"Don't even try to bullshit me, Spock. What the fuck happened down there?" Jim demanded. Spock gave a small sigh and glanced away, refusing to meet Jim's eyes as though ashamed.

"I do not wish to discuss..." Spock began, but Jim cut him off.

"I don't care. As your captain, I'm ordering you to tell me what happened." Jim put all the authority he could muster into his tone. Spock immediately snapped to attention, like he hoped, which was marginally better than before, but not by much. At least the other man was looking at him again.

"Captain, it would be unethical..." Spock's voice was thankfully more controlled now, but Jim still didn't let him finish.

"This is about the mind meld, isn't it?" What else could it be? Spock's silence was answer enough. Jim sighed. "Look, I don't need specifics... but I need to know what's going on. Especially if it puts this ship or its crew members at risk. _All_ of its crew members." Right now Khan was included.

"Of course, Captain," Spock replied. For a moment the half-Vulcan didn't speak, as if unsure of what to say, and of course that only worried Jim more. Spock normally wasn't one at a loss for words. Jim didn't press him this time though, letting the other man have time to gather his thoughts. It didn't take long. "I expressed to Mr. Singh the suggestion that disclosing his experiences aboard Regula I to you and Dr. McCoy would be beneficial to the retrieval and treatment of his crew. He was displeased with the suggestion. He was also justifiably displeased upon learning of my violation of his psyche during the mind meld."

It was now Jim's turn to be at a loss for words. He could only blink, dumbfounded, at the half-Vulcan for a moment before he collected himself.

"That bastard..." Jim muttered under his breath, but of course Spock heard it.

"Captain, Khan is not at fault..." Spock began, and though Jim never thought he would ever see the day that Spock actually _defended_ the augment, right now Jim didn't want to hear it.

"No, I can see where this is going, and it's bullshit. You didn't _violate_ his mind! You said you tried to shield yourself. What happened wasn't your fault, and it sure as hell wasn't any picnic for you." Jim replied vehemently, though he knew it probably wouldn't be that easy to pull Spock out of the guilt trip he'd taken.

"Captain, regardless of my intentions..."

"Spock, just shut up for a second, okay? I repeat: it's bullshit. I don't know what you saw in his mind. I honestly don't think I want to know. But the people who hurt him, the people who... violated... him, they didn't care whether or not they caused him pain... Or worse, it was intentional. It's not the same thing. Not even close. You're not like them. You weren't trying to hurt him. You were trying to help him. I'm going to make sure he knows that."

"I... Thank you, Captain," Spock finally said after a long moment, and Jim was gratified to see that some of that haunted look in Spock's eyes had dissipated, though a sliver of doubt remained. It pissed Jim off more than a little. He was angry at Khan for daring to accuse Spock of something so horrible, but mostly he was furious and disgusted at the men who _had_ hurt Khan so badly.

 _Khan's lashing out at Spock because he can. Because there's no one else he can direct that anger to right now. Spock's just a convenient target,_ Jim told himself. And even though he understood and could sympathize to a degree, it still didn't make him happy. He gave Spock an encouraging smile and pressed the button that would start the turbolift moving again.

"Get to the bridge and have Sulu set a course for Regula I. I'll deal with Khan."

* * *

 

Jim didn't return to the brig until late into gamma shift. He hadn't particularly liked the idea of leaving Khan to stew in his own juices for that long, but Jim honestly couldn't decide how he was going to handle the situation until then.

He walked into the brig carrying the tri-dimensional chess set, even though he was pretty sure Khan wouldn't be feeling up to a game right now. Jim still held out a slim hope they could handle this like civilized adults.

Bones looked up from his datapad when Jim entered. The doctor had been down here with Khan ever since Jim had given him a loose explanation of what had happened earlier. The doctor had been sending Jim regular updates on Khan throughout the day, even though the news was always the same. Jim glanced over at the augment locked away behind the glass barrier of the cell. Khan was kneeling in the center of the small room, facing away from them, his head bent and his eyes closed. Apparently he hadn't moved an inch all day since Bones had come down here. He didn't speak, not even to throw a snide remark at the doctor when Bones tried to engage him.

"Good luck," Bones muttered to Jim as he passed him on the way out. Jim threw him a grin that was more confident than the younger man really felt, before going back to staring at Khan. After a few minutes of watching the augment - who still hadn't moved at all - Jim sighed softly and walked over to the small table they normally used, and began to set up the chess set. He took his time, making sure to make plenty of noise. For all the other man might look like he was asleep, Jim had no doubt Khan was fully aware of his presence and actions.

Finally Jim sat down in his chair and moved one of his pieces. Then he waited.

"I am in no mood for games." Khan finally broke the silence after only about twenty minutes. Jim was surprised; he'd expected to have to wait a lot longer. He wasn't sure if that was a good sign or a really bad one.

"Oh? You could have fooled me. Especially considering you're acting like an overgrown child," Jim taunted. The augment's back stiffened so much, Jim was surprised it didn't crack. Well, at least he was getting a reaction.

Khan was looking at him now, glaring actually. Those blue-green eyes stared at him intensely enough to set off a fluttering of nerves in Jim's stomach with a mixture of nervousness... and other feelings Jim tried not to examine too closely. Especially now, since this definitely wasn't the time.

"Child?" Khan growled, but Jim refused to be intimidated.

"Oh, I'm sorry? Did I offend you? I didn't think you were so sensitive. It's certainly not as offensive as what you accused my first officer of," Jim shot back.

Khan's eyes flashed and he growled again, but the augment looked away, and that's not what Jim wanted. He didn't want Khan to retreat. "You have no idea..."

"I have no idea of what? What it feels like to be powerless? To have people hurt you for no other reason because they can? To be beaten down? Humiliated? No, I have no idea what you went through. But you have no idea what I've lived through. So you have no right to tell me I don't know what it's like," Jim snapped. When Khan refused to reply, he pushed on. "You had no business accusing Spock like that. He was only trying to help you. Those implants were killing you, and without the mind meld, Bones couldn't deactivate them without risking turning you into a vegetable or killing you! Which Bones would have told you, if you'd bothered to ask instead of sit there pouting all day!"

Khan still said nothing. He did not move, Jim could not even tell if he was breathing, and it was worrying him. He didn't think this was going to work if he couldn't get Khan to engage.

"Maybe if you would have _told_ us you were telepathic, he wouldn't have gone in unprepared..."

"I am not telepathic." Khan's soft reply was shocking both for his words and the quiet tone.

"Well, that's bullshit. Vulcans are trained to control their telepathy practically before they can walk. There's no way..."

"I am empathic, you moron," Khan snapped at him, and though Jim was relieved to finally get an honest response out of Khan, he didn't particularly like how Khan could make him feel like an idiot so often.

"What's the difference?" Jim asked.

"What it means, _Captain_ , is that I cannot read your thoughts, by touch or otherwise, even if I wished to." Khan practically snarled the response as he smoothly rose to his feet. It was so graceful a move it seemed as though he _hadn't_ been kneeling in the same position for hours on end. The bastard was just showing off now. Khan finally turned to look at Jim fully as he stalked towards the glass. "However, I know exactly what you are _feeling_. Emotions are more reliable, as humans lie to themselves almost as often as they lie to each other. But very rarely can they force themselves to feel something other than exactly what they feel."

Khan pressed a hand to his forehead and closed his eyes, his expression pinched in unmistakable pain momentarily before the augment visibly composed himself.

"I feel _everything_! You! Your crew! Things I have long since forgotten... _Everything_! It has taken me years to build up the mental defenses I need to keep that bombardment away, and your Vulcan has broken down every failsafe in my mind that keeps those feelings at bay. You have no idea the damage he has caused me."

At some point, Jim had stood to meet Khan's accusation face-to-face, but by the time Khan was finished spewing his venomous words, he certainly felt like sitting again. He hadn't known. He hadn't understood, and Khan was right; Jim didn't think he could ever truly understand what Khan was describing. But then Jim had seen Khan, thrashing and screaming, caught in the grips of horrific nightmares, and if even part of that was a result of what Spock had inadvertently done...

"He didn't know. You could have died..."

"Dying would have been preferable." Khan stated flatly and turned away again, clearly dismissing Jim. Too bad Jim was not so easily dismissed.

"Oh yeah? So that's it? Is this the part where you vow to kill us all in revenge as soon as you get the chance? Or is it just Spock on your shit list this time? You gonna kill Bones too because he needed Spock for the mind meld to save your life? You going to kill me because I ordered them to do what they could to save you?"

"You are brave to goad me when you think I am safely contained inside your cage," Khan taunted back, standing so close to the barrier that he and Jim would have been sharing the same air had there not been the glass between them.

"Oh, is this your 'it's not fair' argument? All right, then. Let's make this fair, since you're so damned eager to dish out some good old-fashioned vengeance." With a quick gesture, Jim opened corundum-silicate glass. Khan took a step back, clearly surprised by this turn of events. Jim took the opportunity to step inside the cell, the malleable glass sealing behind him once he was inside. Khan's eyes darted over his form quickly, possibly searching for hidden weapons of some kind. He probably didn't believe that Jim was crazy enough to do something like this without at least some way to defend himself. Unless Jim was suicidal.

Apparently Jim was feeling suicidal.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" Jim demanded, holding his hands out to his sides, showing Khan irrefutably that he was unarmed. "This is what you wanted, isn't it? You want to punish someone for all the wrongs done to you? Here's your chance. Take your best shot, tough guy."

Khan stared at him and blinked slowly. Apparently, even Khan's big super-brain was having trouble processing what exactly Jim was saying. Finally the augment scowled at him.

"You are playing with fire. I am not weak or defenseless any longer," Khan stated, a definite warning in his voice, and he still hadn't made a move yet. It made Jim more hopeful that this crazy plan of his might just work without getting him killed in the process.

"Oh yeah? Prove it!"

Khan's eyes practically flashed, and in the next moment Jim was left reeling when the augment back handed him hard enough to give him whiplash, make him see stars, and taste blood in his mouth all at the same time. Damn, how had he forgotten just how hard Khan could hit? But at the same time Jim was cursing himself for this stupid idea, he knew that Khan hadn't hit him nearly as hard as he could have. If the augment really wanted to, Khan probably could have taken his head clean off his shoulders with one punch. This was practically a love tap by comparison.

Jim wiped the corner of his mouth and straightened. "Really? Is that all you've got?"

"Are you really so eager to die?" Khan hissed, taking a step towards Jim, and he certainly looked and sounded menacing enough. But even Jim couldn't feel a lot of conviction in his words.

"Pretty big talk. But I don't see you backing it up."

Jim was 'rewarded' with another backhand which would have knocked him off of his feet if his back hadn't slammed into the glass barrier instead. That one hurt a lot more, but since he still wasn't dead yet, Jim was counting it as a win. Though he admitted he felt a little less confident when one of Khan's hands suddenly wrapped around his throat and squeezed. Khan's voice growled in his ear as the other man's body pinned him in place.

"You will regret mocking me."

Jim wasn't above playing dirty, and he certainly wasn't about to let Khan choke him. At least, not until he'd gotten his point across. So he didn't feel too bad about bringing his knee up hard in a place that would have made any man buckle, even an augment. Jim wasn't disappointed, and Khan's hold on his neck slipped just a little. The captain proceeded to headbutt the other man as hard as he could, potentially giving himself a concussion, but was rewarded with Khan stumbling backwards, a flash of red emerging from either the augment's nose, mouth, or both, indicating Jim had done some damage.

Jim didn't get to celebrate his victory long. Khan recovered quickly and straightened, blood trailing from his nose _and_ lip where he'd probably bitten himself, his expression murderous. Khan threw a punch at him that Jim only barely managed to dodge because he was expecting it. He was glad that he had, because instead, Khan struck the glass barrier with enough force to shake it, something Jim would have previously thought impossible, but thankfully it didn't crack.

Unfortunately, he wasn't so lucky getting out of the way of the second strike. But at least it only clipped him instead of hitting him head-on. Jim still went down hard, sprawling on the floor and grunting in discomfort. He hoped Bones would be able to take care of the impressive bruises he was sure to come away with after this was all over. If he was still alive.

Khan was on him in a second, straddling him in a way that made Jim's legs pretty much useless, and pinning his arms on the ground next to his head by his wrists. Jim was breathing hard, but of course Khan wasn't even winded. The augment's eyes were wild, and he looked more than a little insane at the moment. Especially with his face covered in blood.

Jim's face probably looked a lot worse at this point though. It felt puffy from the forming bruises, and his tongue felt a little swollen too. He still managed to talk without slurring though.

"So, got it out of your system yet? Or do you want to go another round?"

Khan blinked slowly then narrowed his eyes at Jim, a frown pinching a line between his eyebrows.

"You are insane," the augment said at length.

"You're one to talk."

"I could kill you right now."

"You won't," Jim stated simply with complete confidence.

Khan's frown deepened.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because you know I'm not your enemy," Jim replied, and Khan flinched as though he'd struck him. He started to pull back, but as soon as Khan released Jim's hands, the captain reached out to grab Khan instead, refusing to let the augment pull away. "We're not your enemy."

Khan continued to stare at him, his eyes wide, almost frightened.

"You said you know what I'm feeling. Tell me what I'm feeling now," Jim said slowly, swallowing hard. This was the moment that was either going to change everything between them...or get Jim killed.

Khan blinked slowly. Neither of them breathed. Jim's heart pounded loud and hard against his ribs. Then suddenly, Khan was surging forward and he crushed his mouth against Jim's.


	14. Chapter 14

The kiss tasted like blood, both his own, and Kirk's. He felt the hands on his arm tighten. A flash of uncertainty. Fingers dug deeply into his muscles. He was certain the younger man was about to push him away, or at least attempt to, but the moment passed. Kirk groaned deep in his throat and the hands pulled him even closer. The desire he'd felt in the younger man ever since that day on New Vulcan, flared hot. It was almost enough to make him forget...at least for a moment... almost enough to mute the noise in his head.

The roar was like the ocean, not the calm, lapping sounds of water against sand on a clear calm day. This was a violent crashing and churning storm, a cacophony of noise drowning him until he could barely think.

His mind had never been a safe haven - far too many bad memories. But it had never betrayed him like this before. Had never failed him so completely. The dreams, they should have been a clue. He should have realized what had been happening. Perhaps if he had realized sooner he could have stopped it. Or perhaps it had been inevitable. Perhaps the Vulcan's clumsy stumbling in his mind had caused the damage, or perhaps it had already begun long before, and that had only hastened the decline. Khan didn't know, but he was in no mood to be charitable in his thoughts. There was no room in his head for it.

"Khan..." Kirk's voice pulled him back to the present. They were still so close that he could feel the movement of the younger man's lips against his own when he spoke, every soft panted exhale of his breath. He could feel Kirk's heart pounding against his own chest, and when he opened his eyes all he could see was a small sliver of blue in the other man's eyes. The desire in the young man's eyes was unmistakable. The concern was unexpected, and it was not a lie, he could feel it.

This thing that had developed between them...it had begun as an insult. Later it had become a tool, a mask to hide behind, a deception to manipulate and control. A game... Perhaps it was still all of those things. But at some point, maybe even only in the last several minutes, it had become something more. It had become necessary...

Khan's breath left him like it had been punched out of him. It shook. He shook. He was actually trembling. Kirk surely must have felt it. There was no way he couldn't have. As soon as Khan realized this, every muscle in his body drew taut and unforgiving. It was far from comfortable, but at least it stopped the trembling.

Kirk frowned, worry clouding his eyes and turning the bright blue almost gray. That wasn't what Khan wanted. He did not want Kirk's pity. But he would gladly take the distraction the young man offered.

His mouth found Kirk's again, even rougher than before. Khan's teeth caught on the younger man's already bloodied lip and Kirk hissed sharply beneath him. The younger man's lips parted in surrender as he invited Khan to take what he wanted. Khan's tongue delved inside, hot, tasting, claiming. Kirk's tongue curled around his own in a power-play, before the younger man relented and sucked him in deeper. An almost violent shudder racked Khan's body at the pleasant sensation.

When was the last time he'd felt anything close to pleasure?

Kirk stilled a moment. Hesitation and uncertainty flickered again beneath the heat of desire. Khan crushed his mouth harder against Kirk's. It was almost violent, as though attempting to devour the younger man. The hands on his shoulders clenched, tightening to a degree that would have left deep bruises on a normal human. But there was still no real protest beneath him. Not even when the kiss drew out to an uncomfortable length, where Khan knew the other man's lungs would have been burning by now for lack of air.

Finally, Khan released the younger man's lips, allowing Kirk to take several gasping breaths while his mouth moved down the line of the young man's jaw to his neck. Using more teeth than lips, he added more colorful bruises to the already impressive array he'd given Kirk earlier. The doctor would no doubt believe that Khan had attacked Kirk, perhaps even forced himself upon him. The idea should have been sobering, appalling, but for the moment Khan did not care. Because for the moment his mind felt quiet. All of his thoughts and senses focused on one thing...the willing body beneath him.

Kirk gasped in his ear as Khan's mouth latched onto the side of his neck. The younger man's pulse beat furiously beneath Khan's lips and tongue, matching his own. It took Khan a moment to realize that the captain's rough breaths were actually words. One word, his name, repeated breathlessly over and over. Khan's teeth bit down hard, surely breaking skin, and the young man hissed beneath him. Khan licked the mark, savoring the coppery taste, and Kirk moaned shamelessly.

Kirk's fingers dug into the muscles of his shoulders, scratching and pulling at him. His hands moved downwards, down the length of Khan's back to the swell of his buttocks, before sliding back upwards. His fingers swept over his shoulders, up his neck and into his hair, combing through the thick dark strands. A rumbling, almost a purr, escaped from Khan before he could stop himself when those fingers massaged into the muscles of his neck and he felt Kirk's breath catch.

"Fuck, that's hot..." he heard the younger man mutter. Khan groaned, though he wasn't sure if it was in protest or relief, when those surprisingly strong hands moved on, repeating the caress down his back. Over and over the motion was repeated. Sometimes Kirk's hands strayed as far down as his hips, but never any further. Fingers worked determinedly into his muscles, and against all odds, Khan felt himself relaxing under the touch. It was much like that moment in the medbay where he'd woken to the feeling of Kirk's hand on his own; the touch soothing in a way he couldn't describe. Grounding...

When was the last time someone had touched him without the intent to cause pain?

Khan's eyes drifted closed as he pressed his forehead against the younger man's shoulder. This man was such a contradiction. There were so many conflicting feelings within this man. Indeed, the young captain's feelings for Khan were just as confusing and convoluted as Khan's were for him. As unstable as a whirlwind, near blinding anger and grief one moment, compassion and understanding the next. Kirk should feel anything but grounding, more like the jagged rocks at the base of a cliff to be broken upon. Instead, Khan felt both his body and his mind calm; his muscles unclenched slowly due to the younger man's steady persistence.

Long ago, Khan had learned how to block out the emotions of others to the point he could barely feel those around him unless he wished it. It was a necessary tool for his survival and sanity. Only from his family had he had never completely shielded himself from. He had never wanted to. He had always been able to feel them, sometimes even at great distance. Their presence had always calmed him. The silence in his mind had been only one of many shocks to awaken to following his long cryosleep. He'd been truly alone for the first time in his life.

Now, he felt like an exposed nerve. His control was shattered, and he was open to everything, unable to shove aside the impressions he felt from all those around him. Unable to cope with the demons howling in his head. It was humiliating how comforting Kirk's presence felt in this moment when Khan most needed it. If Khan were not so desperate, he would be disgusted.

"Tell me what I can do." Kirk's voice held concern, and it made anger flash brightly in Khan's chest. He hated that concern. Hated that he had been brought so low to require it. He didn't want to need this man, for anything. Using Kirk was one thing, needing him was another. He practically growled in frustration and the younger man froze. He felt the first real flickering of fear come from Kirk. It was interesting how Kirk only felt fear now, when he had earlier threatened to kill the younger man.

Khan lifted his head enough to glare down at him.

"I do not want your pity," Khan spat. Kirk's eyes widened a little and then surprisingly, he laughed.

"I thought you were supposed to be smart," Kirk smiled, then he sighed softly. A surprisingly patient look warmed the younger man's eyes as he combed his fingers through Khan's hair again and cradled his head in his hands. "I don't pity you, Khan. You're a fucking bastard. You're completely insane. You're also the strongest man I've ever met."

Khan stared intently into Kirk's eyes, looking for the lie, but he could see no deception there. If nothing else, the captain believed what he was saying.

"You continue to surprise me, Kirk," Khan finally admitted grudgingly, and the younger man had the nerve to grin up at him. The augment closed his eyes and breathed deeply, his forehead dropping once more to rest on the captain's shoulder. He continued to breathe slowly, deeply; Kirk's scent was not nearly as unpleasant as he might have expected, even covered in sweat and blood from their earlier encounter. Khan focused on the feel of the warm hard body beneath him, which left nothing to the imagination, pressed together from chest to hips as they were. He let his senses focus completely in the younger man, taking what he needed, and didn't fight the unexpected feeling of peace that washed over him.

Of course Kirk's mind was never one to sit idle for very long, and shortly, feelings of uncertainty began to bleed through.

"What can I do to help?" The young man asked again and Khan let out a frustrated sigh that had no real heat behind it.

"Just...be silent...for once." Khan's words seemed to confuse the young man for a moment. But despite his previous comment, Kirk was no fool. As his body continued to slowly relax where it rested against Kirk, he could tell when the captain began to understand. Eventually the younger man began to calm down as well. And again, Kirk's hands began to move along his back, half-massaging, half-petting him. It was incredibly...soothing. A safe harbor in a storm.

Khan let out an approving groan and the young captain chuckled softly beneath him.

"You sound like a big cat," Kirk teased and Khan snorted softly. He shifted his head enough to lightly nip at the dark mark he'd left on the captain's neck earlier. Kirk's breath caught and Khan felt the desire which simmered just beneath the surface flare for an instant.

Kirk shifted slightly beneath him, not quite in discomfort, and Khan bit him again a little harder. A warning. Kirk groaned loudly but went still once more.

"You're also a goddamn tease, in case you were wondering," Kirk snarked lightly, though Khan could tell it wasn't really a complaint.

"I wasn't teasing," Khan replied, and lapsed into silence once more. Minutes passed and neither of them moved, aside from the rise and fall of their breathing, and Kirk's continued his caresses along Khan's neck, shoulders, and back. He didn't try to shift again, even though lying on the floor with Khan's weight draped over him was surely uncomfortable after all this time.

Eventually the quiet in Khan's mind reached a point where he was able to slip into an exhausted slumber.

* * *

Jim realized that Khan was asleep when he heard the soft snore next to his ear. If he hadn't been so troubled, he might have chuckled at the thought of Khan doing something so...normal. Well, his confrontation with Khan hadn't gone exactly as he had planned. It had gone both better and much worse than he had expected; Khan had opened up to him, but Jim was certain they had not even scratched the surface.

The man was a mess, there was really no other way to put it. Of course Jim had already known this; Bones had warned him of it more than once, but to see real evidence of it up close and personal...

Jim wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to help Khan, but he sure as hell wasn't qualified for this. Jim wasn't sure if anyone really was. What that man had been through... Jim hadn't been lying when he'd told Khan he was the strongest person he'd ever met. For anyone to go through even a fraction of what Khan had and still hold onto even a shred of sanity...

It was no surprise how another perceived 'violation' had nearly tipped Khan over the edge. The worst part was Jim knew this wasn't the last, or the worst, of what was bound to come. Khan was like a volcano preparing to blow and tear apart an entire planet. The pressure had been building for so long, and what they'd seen so far was surely only the beginning. When he finally blew... Too bad they couldn't just drop a cold fusion device on his psyche like they'd done with the volcano on Nibiru.

Jim sighed heavily.

Maybe Bones was right. Maybe it would have been better to leave Khan on New Vulcan, even though that hadn't seemed like an option at the time. It hadn't exactly been safe either. Section 31 had already looked for Khan there once, almost killed Spock - the elder Spock - in the process, and nearly tortured Khan to death with those fucking implants. What was to stop them from trying again? Plus, the whole Vulcan philosophy of suppressing emotions might not be the best option for someone like Khan, either. No, Khan was definitely safer here with them.

An empath... As though things were not difficult enough. Jim would have to check if the ship's archives had any information on the subject. He'd heard the term, but even with Khan's brief explanation, Jim didn't really understand it.

Jim's first instinct was to ask Spock if he could do anything to help repair the damage in Khan's mind, but that might not be the best option. The mere suggestion would probably be rejected by both parties. Maybe Khan could talk with Bones. Bones had said repeatedly that he wasn't qualified to act as any kind of shrink, but surely he was more qualified than Jim. And Khan had seemed to trust the doctor, at least a little. But that had been before Khan learned about the mind meld. Then again, talking with doctors and counselors hadn't really helped Jim that much after Tarsus IV...

So...

Jim thumped his head back against the floor and groaned softly in frustration. He wished he knew what to do. Bones would probably be angry at how Jim had handled things so far: getting into a fight with Khan, then letting the augment kiss him... Maybe Jim would leave that part out when he talked to the doctor, even though it had calmed the man. This time at least. Khan had to trust him at least a little bit to leave himself in such a vulnerable state with Jim. Fuck, that Khan must be so starved for any kind of affection that he would accept it even from Jim...

The thought made Jim's eyes burn uncomfortably and he blinked the feeling away, swallowing hard. Why did everything have to be so complicated? This wasn't even the worst of their problems what with Khan's issues on top of Section 31, the conspiracy within Starfleet, bioweapons, Khan's crew. The odds were already stacked overwhelmingly against them. They needed Khan to be functional if they were going to have any chance of pulling this off. Jim had no doubt that the man would suffer through any pain, any hardship, no matter what damage it did to him, to save his crew, but Jim didn't want it to come to that.

Maybe Spock was right about one thing. They needed to know what they were walking into when they reached Regula I. They were going to reach the research station sooner rather than later, and they needed to be prepared. Maybe getting Khan to talk about what had happened to him there would help in more ways than one. Or maybe it would blow up in Jim's face...

Khan made a little distressed sound against his neck and Jim's arms tightened around the other man. The augment quickly settled again and Jim sighed softly in relief.

He wondered if Khan was going to act...weird when he woke up from his nap.

Jim wouldn't blame him, the augment had probably been brought up believing that showing any sign of weakness was akin to baring his throat to a knife. Jim wasn't exactly the 'talking about his feelings' type either, but in this case, he might have no choice but to make an exception. The more Jim thought about it, the more he realized the two of them were more alike than either of them probably wanted to believe. It was a very unsettling thought.


	15. Chapter 15

Jim was proud of himself. He managed not to start freaking out for two whole hours after leaving Khan in the brig.

Khan had been surprisingly...okay when Jim had left the augment.

At some point during the night Jim had fallen asleep despite the uncomfortably hard floor beneath him and the surprisingly comfortable weight of the augment on top of him. When he'd finally opened his eyes, it was to find Khan already awake. The older man still lay very close, but at some point he'd shifted so he was not lying on top of Jim anymore. How he'd managed to move without waking Jim was a mystery. Now he was propped up on an elbow staring down at Jim with an unreadable expression.

Just how long had Khan been watching him sleep? That was definitely on the creepy and awkward side of things, but at least Khan didn't look angry, or like he'd been contemplating strangling Jim in his sleep. Then again, one never knew with Khan. Jim offered the man a half-smile, his eyebrow raised in question, and Khan frowned in response. But the silent uncomfortable exchange at least broke the even more uncomfortable staring contest.

Khan pulled away and stood with a grace that Jim envied. He did not offer Jim a hand up, and the younger man grumbled about his aching back as he stumbled to his feet. Out of the corner of his eye he caught Khan smirking faintly before the man turned away from him. He started some stretching exercises that Jim had caught him doing from time to time previously.

Apparently they weren't going to talk about what had happened last night. Jim debated a moment whether to bring it up and decided to let it go for the time being. He didn't want to push Khan too much too quickly, and even if the man's apparent calm demeanour now was all an act, it was still a vast improvement from last night.

Jim watched Khan's fluid movements thoughtfully for a moment before he ordered the computer to let him out of the brig. The augment didn't even turn to see him leave.

It wasn't until Jim got back to his quarters that things started going downhill. He began to strip down as soon as the door shut behind him, eager to wash off the feeling of dried sweat, when he caught sight of himself in the mirror and had to do a double-take.

Jim touched his face with hesitant fingers. It should have been an impressive shade of black-and-blue this morning. Instead his fingers met unmarked, if slightly stubbly flesh, which told him he could use a shave, but didn't reflect any of what had happened last night. His body, though sore, had no bruises where he'd fallen against the glass barrier or the floor. Jim's fingers traced over his neck where Khan's lips and teeth had surely marked him, but where now there was only unblemished skin. He touched lips that should have been split from violence and swollen from passion, yet they were neither.

Surprisingly, _that's_ when Jim began to freak out; it made him re-examine his memories in detail from start to finish. The lack of physical proof from what had happened made it all the more real.

Khan had attacked him. Jim had been asking for it. Then Khan had kissed him. _Khan_ had _kissed_ him... And Jim had probably been asking for that too.

How the hell had they come from loathing each other to this? So much had happened in such a short time, too much for either of them to remain unchanged by it. Hadn't Jim only just admitted to himself that he found Khan attractive and had decided that he would never act upon that attraction? It was immoral; Khan was a prisoner, he was a man who had been horrifically abused in so many ways...

And Khan had kissed _him_. He hadn't forced himself on Khan. He had only wanted to help him. But with Khan's empathy and no way to shield himself from it, Khan had he picked up on the attraction Jim felt and... No. Khan had known about his attraction long before Jim had even admitted it to himself. The augment had been taunting him for some time now. From the way he called him _captain_ (like he would just love to drop to his knees and suck Jim's cock, or maybe have Jim suck his), to the way he pinned Jim against the wall and called it foreplay. But Jim had never once given any of that serious consideration. It just wasn't going to happen...

But Khan had kissed him...

Jim touched his lips again as he recalled that kiss. Too rough at first, it seemed a mere extension of their fight - all crushing lips and teeth and tasting like blood... Blood... Khan's blood. The augment had been bleeding from when Jim had head-butted him. It had probably gotten into his mouth while they kissed. Could that have been enough to heal him? Obviously it was. Khan's intense staring this morning now made a lot more sense.

The captain signed and shook his head. At least he wouldn't have to explain the bruises to anyone. But that didn't help him to figure out what he was going to do about Khan. Then again, last night had been emotional. Khan hadn't exactly been in his right mind, which just made Jim feel guilty even though he probably shouldn't. Nothing had really happened and Khan had seemed fine this morning.

But Khan was a fucking master at seeming fine when he was anything but.

"Shit..."

* * *

Jim wasn't avoiding Khan. He couldn't, even if he'd wanted to because he needed to talk to the man in order to plan what they were going to do when they reached Regula I. After his shower, Jim had changed into clean clothes and gone to check on the bridge. Only Uhura and Sulu were there at this early hour; everyone else was still getting some much needed rest.

Jim told them he would take over alone since Spock, Chekov, and Scotty would probably be up soon anyway. Jim could handle the ship by himself for that long.

Before she left, Uhura pulled Jim into a tight hug and thanked him.

"What was that for?" he asked, perplexed.

"For Spock. He's been tearing himself apart for days, but wouldn't talk to me about it. Whatever you said, it helped, so thank you." She kissed his cheek before leaving.

If Jim was still grinning like an idiot when Scotty showed up, he didn't say why.

After Jim left the bridge, he went in search of McCoy because he knew Bones would be upset with him if he didn't keep the doctor updated on his patient. The fact that Khan was an empath, and had apparently suffered some kind of psychic damage during the mind meld while under the doctor's care, was definitely something that Bones would want to know about.

But when he arrived at the medbay Bones wasn't there.

"Crap," Jim muttered, guessing where the doctor might be. He headed back to the brig. After last night, he knew the doctor would be curious about his patient's condition, but Jim had hoped to talk to McCoy before Khan could. Who knew what the augment might tell Bones about what happened.

When Jim arrived at the brig, the doctor was indeed there, but he was standing in the corridor just outside of the cell area looking in.

"Bones? What -" But Jim didn't get to finish his question as the doctor quickly shushed him. Curious, Jim moved to stand beside the other man to see what was so fascinating. He heard Chekov's voice first, the young ensign speaking excitedly in Russian. Then, to Jim's surprise (though by this point nothing should really surprise him), Khan answered in perfect Russian.

"I'll be damned," Jim whispered, as he took in the scene in the brig. Chekov was sitting in the chair at the table Jim usually occupied, and was studying the tri-dimensional board intently as he spoke. Jim had completely forgotten he'd left it there last night. Khan and Chekov were obviously in the middle of a game. Khan was listening to the young ensign with a surprisingly indulgent expression as Chekov gestured animatedly to illustrate whatever point he was making. There was nothing of the barely-veiled hostility Khan usually displayed towards Jim's crew members.

"Any idea what they're talking about?" Jim asked quietly.

"Not a clue," Bones admitted.

Jim was able to catch a few words here and there, enough to guess whatever they were saying had to do with advanced quantum mechanics. No wonder Chekov sounded so excited. When Khan actually smiled at the young man, Jim felt his stomach flip a little.

"I didn't think that guy was capable of smiling," Bones said, sounding surprised. "We should probably move back, before they realise we're here."

Jim felt his stomach drop, remembering why he'd been looking for the doctor. "Khan knows, trust me," Jim said quietly, and Bones' expression changed to concerned at his grave tone. He didn't ask any questions until they'd moved back towards the turbolift.

"What happened?" The doctor asked, and Jim told him. He told him about the fight with Khan, and spent several minutes reassuring the doctor he didn't need to be checked out in medbay. He told Bones about Khan being an empath and his near-breakdown. He definitely left out the parts about Khan kissing him and the two of them falling asleep together. Thankfully the doctor was too disturbed by what Jim had told him to wonder what Jim _wasn't_ telling him.

"Jesus Christ, Jim," Bones muttered as he raked his hand through his hair.

"I know," was the only thing Jim could think to say, "What can we do?"

Bones gave him a helpless look.

"How the hell should I know, Jim? This is way beyond anything..." Bones trailed off and Jim nodded in understanding. He'd been expecting that reaction, but a part of him had still hoped the doctor would have some answers.

"Do you know anything about it?" Jim asked.

The doctor let out a frustrated sigh.

"I know it's not completely unheard of in normal humans. Things like telepathy, empathy, telekinesis...have been reported in a small percentage of humans for centuries. But it occurs so rarely, and even when it does, it's never to the degree you're describing, so not many medical studies have been done. Forget that Khan is an augment and his biology is already so different from ours. I wouldn't even know where to start, Jim."

Jim gave a heavy sigh and nodded again.

"It happens rarely in humans, but maybe it's more common in other species? Maybe one of them could help him?" Jim offered and Bones made a thoughtful sound.

"It's possible. I'll look into it. But Jim, with everything that's happening..."

Jim nodded. They were still considered fugitives from Starfleet. Any federation planet they tried to seek aid from might report them to Starfleet Headquarters and it would be New Vulcan all over again. Khan, and anyone sheltering him, would be in danger from Section 31. Even if they could find someone to help Khan, they might not be able to risk it until after this was all over; Khan was still a wanted terrorist. The thought left a bad taste in Jim's mouth.

"I say just keep doing whatever you're doing until we can think of another option," Bones continued, and Jim looked away before the doctor could catch him blushing.

He was afraid Bones would say that.

Bones returned to medbay telling Jim he would do some research and let him know what he found later. Jim decided to return to the brig. As much as he didn't want to interrupt the augment and the young ensign, especially when Khan seemed to get along surprisingly well with him, time was a luxury they didn't have.

When he walked into the cell area, Khan didn't immediately turn his attention to him and Chekov continued explaining away whatever theory he was going on about. It took several moments for the ensign to notice Jim, and when he finally did, the young man blushed scarlet and rushed to stand.

"Keptin! I'm sorry... I didn't..." Chekov stammered, looking to Khan as though for aid. The augment merely smirked. Well, it was good to see that Khan hadn't completely lost his evil streak. Jim bit the inside of his lip to keep from smiling, but eventually took pity on the young man.

"It's all right, Ensign." Jim reassured the young man that he'd done nothing wrong. "I'll take over. Report to the bridge."

"Yes, Keptin."

Once Chekov was gone, Jim turned to Khan and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You enjoyed that," Jim remarked, and Khan tilted his head slightly, the augment's equivalent of a shrug. "I hope you're not trying to corrupt my crew," he added, only half-joking. If Khan wanted to try to manipulate Jim's attraction, fine. But Jim didn't want the augment to pull the same tricks on his crew. Especially with Chekov who, despite his brilliance, was still very young and impressionable.

Khan arched an eyebrow.

"Don't tell me you are jealous, Captain," Khan said, far too innocently, especially considering the man's rather wicked grin. Jim couldn't help but sputter, much to the augment's amusement.

"Of course not," Jim finally replied indignantly and huffed, "Asshole. I guess that means you're feeling better?" The last he asked completely seriously.

The amusement abruptly faded from Khan's expression, but he didn't look angry, merely more thoughtful.

" _Better_ is strong a word. My mind is clearer. I can focus more easily on one person at a time if I choose. I've not been able to completely drown out everything, but the noise has somewhat abated. The boy was a welcome distraction, and his intelligence refreshing. But his virtue is safe, if you are worried." How Khan managed to sound both reassuring and insulting at the same time was impressive.

"I wasn't worried," Jim replied.

"Then you are more a fool than you pretend," Khan answered, and Jim threw up his hands in defeat.

"There is just no winning with you, is there?" Jim sighed in frustration. Surprisingly Khan smiled.

"Now you are learning, Captain."

Jim shook his head and chuckled softly. As much as he hated to break the almost easy mood between them, he didn't have much choice. He sighed softly and Khan frowned, already picking up the change in Jim's attitude.

"We need to talk about Regula I," Jim said, and though Khan's expression didn't completely close off, it was a close thing.

The augment took a deep breath and slowly nodded. "Yes, we do."


	16. Chapter 16

"Yes, we do," Khan agreed with a small sigh of resignation.

He had been trying to prepare himself for this since the moment the captain had mentioned Regula I to him. Thankfully, he was far calmer now than the night before. He had actually managed to sleep without nightmares, something Khan would have thought impossible given his rather unstable state. With the combination of his own memories of Regula I, fear for what his crew may be experiencing now while he was helpless to stop it, and the fallen barriers in his mind that prevented him from blocking the flood of emotions from everyone near him, it was a miracle he was even still sane, much less relatively calm this morning.

He was not used to feeling so completely out of control. He prided himself on his strength, his ability to endure, to accomplish what proved impossible to lesser beings. He was not one to dwell on the past. It was a wasted effort to focus on things that could not be changed. Pain, like joy, was fleeting. Once it was over and done, once the physical wounds were healed, it was not worth further consideration, no matter what scars might remain. That was what he had always believed before, until the scars proved to be no longer superficial, but crippling.

It was unsettling in a way no one could fully appreciate, except perhaps, ironically enough, a Vulcan. It was sometimes hell to be at the mercy of not only his own pain, but the feeling of everyone's around him as well. By last night, even the less negative emotions had been overwhelming, like pouring acid on an already festering wound.

Kirk's efforts had proven surprisingly effective, forcing him to face the pain rather than simply ignoring it. Like a surgeon's knife lancing an infection, his words and actions allowed some of the foul pus to escape, so that the wound could finally begin to heal. Then Kirk had offered him something that he had not experienced in a very long time: comfort. Safety. Peace. Things that Khan had needed desperately, but never thought he would find, much less in Kirk's arms.

Unsettling. Yes, that was a very accurate description. It had been unsettling in many ways, but not all bad. And Kirk had allowed him his distance in the morning; the young man hadn't pushed him, not like he had the night before, as though instinctively knowing that it would have done more harm than good. Kirk had allowed him the time to sort his thoughts, and when Chekov had come to the brig for his guard shift, the youth had proved to be a welcome distraction.

By the time Kirk returned, Khan felt more like himself than he had in days, perhaps months. Khan never imagined that he would have Kirk - of all people - to thank for that. As difficult as it would be to reopen the wounds he'd sustained on Regula I, he owed the young captain nothing less than the truth now. For himself, and for his people.

"Sit down, Captain. This is going to take some time," Khan said, and to his surprise, Kirk did not take the seat outside of his cell as he'd expected, but instead, deactivated the barrier and stepped inside. He came to sit beside Khan on the cot and offered him an encouraging smile. Khan did not return the smile, instead staring across the room at the far wall rather than at Kirk.

"There were originally eighty-four of us," he began, and he heard Kirk's gasp beside him but he ignored it. "I lied to you when I said I alone had been revived; I was not alone. I was the last, and I was the only one who survived. When our ship was found adrift in space, our cryotubes were brought to Regula I. Cryogenic sleep was never designed to last for so long, a few years, decades perhaps. But not centuries. Some died simply from the shock of waking. It was a mercy that they did."

"Twelve of us were revived. The first who perished were dissected, torn apart piece by piece in order to discover the secrets of our biology. Marcus was 'kind' enough to show me the results later. I will give your scientists credit, they were extremely thorough. There was not much left of my people's remains by the time they were done with them."

"Jesus Christ..." Jim breathed, but again Khan ignored him. He would not be able to get through this if he stopped.

"Through trial and error the scientists perfected the revival process. That was when the true experiments began. Not many records from my time survived, especially in regards to my people, so you can imagine the excitement an entire ship of living augments produced. Marcus had finally found the perfect weapon against the threat posed by the Klingons and other hostile alien beings.

"One at a time, we were revived. A blessing, for if any one of us had been conscious while the others had been experimented on, it probably would have driven us mad. The scientists were very meticulous about testing our limits. Tests of our physical strength and endurance were easy enough. The same with testing our intelligence. It was not so different from what we endured at the hands of our creators. Then came the more...imaginative experiments.

"Such as seeing how long we could survive without food or water. How much blood we could lose before perishing. How long we could survive drowning. Burning. Hypothermia. What injuries we could sustain to what organs, or how many vital ones could be damaged or removed before we died. How long we could survive in the vacuum of space. By the time the scientists revived me, they were less curious about what could kill us, and more curious about what we could recover from. I survived the longest, almost two months by my estimate, though it was not always easy to gauge the passage of time. Eventually Marcus came...and decided on a 'better' use for me."

Khan heard Kirk make a soft choked sound and made the mistake of looking at the younger man. There were tears on Kirk's face, and for some reason, that was almost too much to bear. Khan could bear his own pain, but not Kirk's on his behalf. He stood abruptly but Kirk didn't allow him to go far; Khan couldn't escape even if he wanted to. But that didn't stop Kirk from following and grabbing his arm to keep him close.

"Let go of me..." Khan growled, but Kirk ignored him.

"Please," Kirk whispered softly, and to Khan's shock, embraced him from behind. After the intimacy they had shared last night, it was probably no surprise that Kirk thought he could take such liberties with him. Khan could easily have shown the younger man his error, shoved him away without much effort, or even have struck him. But to Khan's own surprise, he did none of those things.

He was tired of fighting.

Khan closed his eyes with a small sigh and allowed himself to lean back into the younger man's embrace. Kirk's arms felt surprisingly strong around him. Not nearly as strong as an augment's, of course, but the younger man had no trouble supporting him. Khan could have broken the hold easily if he so wished, and perhaps that was why he felt comfortable enough to allow it. Safe. Khan felt Kirk's breath warm against the side of his neck, he could feel his heart beating strong against his back, and it was strangely soothing.

Neither man spoke for a long time. Unfortunately, the relative peace could not last. There was still more Kirk needed to know.

"On Cold Station 12, a man told me...that when you liberated me, and Section 31 was unable to retrieve me, the experiments continued on my crew in my stead." Khan's voice was barely above whisper, and the only reason he knew Kirk had heard him was the younger man's sharp intake of breath.

"Oh god..." The choked sound that Kirk made was nearly a sob, and Khan felt his eyes burn with emotion he refused to express. He continued speaking as though he hadn't heard Kirk and ignored how choked his own voice sounded to his ears.

"You asked me what I expected to find when we arrived at Regula I. I expect to find most of my crew dead, Captain. And any who remain either close to death, or wishing for it."

The silence that fell between them was deafening and seemed to last for an eternity. Khan could still hear Kirk's breath close to his ear. He could still feel Jim's heartbeat, steady, if a bit faster than before.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kirk finally asked, though there was no accusation in the captain's words, only sadness.

"What would you have done?" Khan couldn't help but snap back bitterly, even though it was not Kirk he was truly angry with. He had only just learned of his crew's fate when he had been struck down by the implants inside of him. When he had woken, his mental barriers had been shattered, the physical pain he'd experienced had been insignificant compared to the damage in his mind. Looking back, Khan had been so close to losing himself, he wasn't sure he even knew what he was doing most of the time. His mind had been failing, and he had clung to whatever he could to remain sane. Most often that turned out to be Kirk.

There was nothing he could have done to help his people. The man from Cold Station 12 had not been able to tell him where they were; he did not know, no matter what Khan had done to him. The man had screamed his ignorance with his last breath.

Should he have known? Should he have been able to guess that Starfleet had taken his people back to where it had all began? Had his mind been so badly damaged he had never even considered it? Or had he simply underestimated Starfleet's arrogance? If he had told Kirk earlier, would the young captain have figured out what Khan had failed to, and could they have rescued his people days ago?

"It's not your fault," Jim whispered and Khan stiffened in the younger man's arms. Perhaps anticipating him pulling away, Kirk tightened his arms around his chest. It wouldn't stop Khan if he truly wished to be free, they both knew that. He wasn't really sure why he didn't push away. Perhaps it was the sheer shock that Kirk had managed to guess the direction of his thoughts so well.

But Kirk was wrong. It _was_ his fault his people had suffered. Because he had been unable to protect them. He had been unable to save them from Marcus. He had failed in retrieving them from Kirk. He had allowed himself to be captured again. It would have been better if Kirk had never liberated him. Then perhaps his people would not be suffering now. Of course that was unlikely. The most probable scenario, if Kirk had not come for him when he had, was that Khan would be dead by now, and his people would be suffering the exact same fate. Only there would be no one even trying to find and help them now. But that knowledge still did not erase the fear and guilt Khan felt knowing his people were suffering in his place, and nothing Kirk said or did would change that.

Kirk slowly urged him to turn around. Khan resisted for a moment before grudgingly facing the captain. There were visible tears in Kirk's expressive blue eyes, but also determination.

"We're going to find them. We're going to save them. I promise," Kirk stated firmly. Khan didn't have the heart to argue with him. No matter how flimsy, he had to cling to the small measure of hope that Kirk offered. He would go mad otherwise. All too soon they would reach Regula I and either Khan would finally be reunited with his family, or he would be mourning them.

If it was the latter, at least his grief would not last for long. Khan would not survive their loss again. He would die avenging his family, or he would end his pain once and for all by his own hand.

* * *

Jim left Khan nearly an hour later. He had managed to convince the man to lie down on the cot and try to get some more rest. The augment could certainly use it, but he hadn't expected Khan to passively agree to the suggestion so easily. It worried Jim.

He sighed heavily, and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. Had Jim once more made a promise that would be nearly impossible to keep? What would happen if they were too late? What if Khan was right and all his people were dead? What if they weren't even there? How much more of this could Khan possibly take? He had already been through so damned much...

Jim hadn't wanted to leave Khan alone, but after Khan had told him all he knew about the research station, Jim needed to prepare his crew as best as he could. Once Khan was asleep, Jim left the cell and contacted Chekov, asking him to sit with the augment again, since Khan hadn't seemed to mind the young man's presence. Then Jim went to see Bones to relay to him everything that Khan had told him. Jim didn't think he had ever before seen his friend turn so pale as he had while listening to the horrors that Khan and his crew had endured.

"My god..." was the only thing the doctor said when Jim finally finished. What else was there to say really? Jim left Bones to prepare the medbay as best he could. Unfortunately they both knew that retrieving seventy-two cryotubes would have been difficult enough. But rescuing seventy-two people (or even half that number) as potentially as injured as Khan had been when they first found him might prove too much of a challenge, even for Bones.

But they had to try.

Jim's next stop was the bridge to talk to Spock. The Vulcan's reaction wasn't quite what he'd expected: Spock's face shifted to that impassive mask he wore whenever something really bothered him, an expression Jim had seen a lot of lately. But the science officer didn't seem too surprised by what Jim told him.

"You knew," Jim guessed.

Spock let out a soft sigh and nodded.

"During the mind meld, I witnessed some of the events you described in Khan's memories," the Vulcan admitted, and Jim winced in sympathy. Just hearing about it had been bad enough, imagining what Khan had gone through. But to actually have seen it? Experience it? No wonder Spock had reacted the way he had that day. "I must admit, Captain, I am surprised Khan spoke of this."

Frankly, Jim was surprised as well. Even considering the 'moment' he and Khan had shared last night, it couldn't have been easy for the augment to tell him. Or to accept Jim's offered comfort afterwards.

"Yeah," Jim agreed, almost absently, lost in his own thoughts.

"Captain..." Spock looked as if he wanted to question him further, but Jim was definitely not ready to discuss the change in his and Khan's relationship. Nothing had happened. Not really. But if the result of last night and today's closeness meant that Khan now trusted him more, then that could only be a good thing, right? As long as Jim didn't do anything to betray that tenuous trust...

"How long before we reach Regula I?" Jim asked, aiming to distract his first officer. Spock narrowed his eyes suspiciously but thankfully allowed the matter to drop.

"Eight point five hours at our current speed, Captain."

Jim nodded.

"Get everyone together in the conference room. We need a plan," Jim ordered, and started to head for the turbolift. Spock's voice stopped him.

"What will you do about Khan, Captain?" the Vulcan asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Khan expressed his desire to join the away team in liberating his people. Do you still intend to honor that request?" Spock asked the question without inflection or expression, but Jim knew his first officer too well. He did not approve of Khan joining the team at all, and as much as he hated to admit it, Jim agreed with him. The upcoming mission would be difficult enough without the risk of Khan having another...episode. With the man's lack of control over his empathy and having to face the trauma he experienced on the research station, and with the fates of Khan's people so uncertain...anything could cause him to snap. And they could ill afford a repeat of an incident like that on Cold Station 12. Or worse.

"When we reach Regula I, Khan will remain on board the _Va'khen_."


	17. Chapter 17

Leonard McCoy liked to believe he was a practical man. He was well aware of his faults and his limitations; he was only human, after all. He was a doctor, not a miracle worker.

As chief medical officer aboard the _Enterprise_ , he was often challenged to push past those limits. Leonard thought it must be a gift of James Kirk's that so often the young captain was able to encourage his crew to do the impossible. Or perhaps Jim had the uncanny ability to see a person's true potential, even when they didn't believe it of themselves.

But this time, Jim might simply be asking too much.

When Jim had come to him describing the horrors that Khan had endured at the hands of Starfleet medical personnel on Regula I, he had been horrified. After the young man had left, Leonard had spent a long time in the lavatory trying his best not to vomit up his last meal. Although he had been treating Khan as a patient for several weeks now, and having seen some of the evidence of what Khan had described, even witnessing first-hand the man naked and bound inside the cell where they'd found him, he still had not been prepared...

How? How could such a thing have happened? How could so many have been willing participants in such atrocities? Had they no sense of morality at all? No compassion? To be party to such ruthless, inhumane treatment...

Of course Khan was not human, Leonard probably knew that better than anyone on this ship. Khan might look human on the surface, but so did Vulcans for the most part. Biologically, he was clearly something else entirely. Those differences should not matter, however. As different as an augment might be from a human being, Khan and his people should still have the same rights as any other sentient alien species in the galaxy.

Leonard could only assume that because the augments had been genetically engineered using scientific methods rather than evolving naturally, some might see them as something...less than human. Perhaps those involved thought they had every right to experiment upon such beings because those kinds of experiments had created them in the first place. The augments had more likely been seen as machines to take apart and modify, rather than living, breathing beings.

Which of course was utter bullshit. Leonard was simply trying to understand why... But maybe it was simply beyond his understanding. It was as unfathomable to him as genocide, torture, rape, and other senseless brutality. As it should be by any sane person. Or at least by anyone who possessed even the smallest bit of a conscience.

How could Starfleet condone such barbaric treatment? Admiral Marcus had obviously only been the tip of the iceberg. How could such crimes have occurred? How could so many have been involved, or at least complacent, in such atrocities? Khan had perhaps not been exaggerating when he said that Starfleet would burn itself from the inside out, and there was nothing they could do to stop it. At this point, Leonard wasn't sure he wanted to be a part of a Starfleet that could sanction such crimes.

Jim still had faith that they could somehow halt the internal decay. If they could only find hard evidence and bring those responsible to justice. But Leonard wasn't so sure it was that simple. The corruption might have already spread too deep. Their current efforts might already be in vain. As a doctor, Leonard McCoy knew sometimes there was just no hope for saving a patient, no matter the technology available or the skill of the doctor.

But hadn't Jim already done the impossible time and time again? Hell, the man couldn't even stay dead for very long, much to Leonard's relief. The doctor had Khan to thank for that, and _he_ had proven just as indestructible, surviving what perhaps no human possibly could, both physically and mentally. Maybe between the two of them, somehow they could do the impossible and save Starfleet from itself; two bastards who were simply too stubborn to fail, much less die. Leonard could only hope.

In return, Leonard would try to do the impossible as well. He had prepared the medical bay as best he could to receive up to seventy-two critically injured patients. The doctor was on his way to the brig now to discuss with Khan if there was anything else he could do for Khan's crew. Despite all Leonard had learned about Khan's biology, there was still plenty he didn't know, and the doctor wasn't willing to make similar mistakes with them as he had with Khan.

When the turbolift doors opened, Leonard froze.

"I am not some delicate flower that requires sheltering!" Khan's angry voice boomed from the direction of the brig and Leonard almost retreated back into the turbolift. He could already guess what the 'discussion' involved, and whom it was with. Apparently Jim had finally gotten around to telling Khan his decision that the augment would remain aboard the ship while the away team attempted to rescue the man's crew. Khan was apparently taking it as well as they'd all expected him to.

"I didn't say you were!" Jim's voice shouted back, confirming the participants. Leonard found himself indeed taking a step back into the turbolift, his hand hovering over the control that would whisk him back to the medical level. While he couldn't exactly be accused of eavesdropping when this kind of volume was involved, this probably wasn't a conversation the two speakers had meant to be overheard.

"Then I simply _misunderstood_ when you said you were denying me the opportunity to aid in freeing my people because in my _condition_ , you feared I would be _overwhelmed_!"

"Khan..."

"If you have so easily forgotten what I am capable of, Captain, I can assure you, it will be your last mistake." Khan growled with such venom that Leonard was certain if Jim wasn't safely on the other side of the cell's barrier, the augment would have snapped the young man's neck right then and there.

"I will never forget what you are capable of, Khan." Leonard barely made out Jim's reply, but the cold fury in the young man's voice sent a chill down the doctor's spine. "I haven't forgotten what you did on Earth. I haven't forgotten all the people you killed. I haven't forgotten what you did on the _Vengeance_."

Leonard wondered if he shouldn't try to intervene somehow. It wouldn't be wise to antagonize Khan and push him over the edge; they couldn't afford to have the augment as an enemy right now.

"But I sure as hell haven't forgotten what happened on Cold Station 12 either. And I haven't forgotten what you told me last night, how if you'd been awake when those...experiments had been done on your people, it probably would have driven you mad. I haven't forgotten when you told me you never expected to survive your war against Marcus and Starfleet," Jim continued, and the silence that followed was deafening. Even Leonard was afraid to breathe and break it.

"So you have come to the conclusion of... what? That I am suicidal?" Khan scoffed, but there was a plaintive undertone to his words that Leonard didn't miss, and Jim probably didn't either. Perhaps Jim wasn't that far off in his analysis after all.

"I think you would do anything for your people, including needlessly throwing your life away," Jim replied. "I'm not going to let that happen."

"That is not your decision to make."

"It is until I think you are capable of making it rationally. Right now, I know you're not." Leonard knew that tone all too well. Jim was not going to back down, and any further attempts to argue the point would be about as effective as banging your head against a wall, with much the same result: a massive headache.

Leonard heard a loud crash which sounded like something heavy had hit the glass barrier of the brig. The doctor rushed to see what it could have been. There was no real chance of the corundum-silicate glass actually breaking, but that wouldn't stop whatever had hit it from breaking... bone, for instance, if Khan had actually struck the barrier. Leonard heard Jim grunt in discomfort and the sound made him pause even before he glanced around the corner, because Jim couldn't possibly be that stupid...

But apparently he was. Jim was _inside_ of the cell with Khan. Was he out of his corn-fed mind?! At least Khan was only gripping the younger man by his arms and not his neck. But Leonard could see that the augment's grip was tight enough to leave deep bruises on Jim's arms, if the younger man's expression of discomfort was any indication. The doctor tried desperately to think of a way to get Khan to let go of the stupid man and get Jim out before Khan decided to do something worse, when Jim spoke again.

"Are we really going to do this again? If beating the shit out of me will make you feel better, hurry up, I've got things I need to do. But it won't change my mind." Jim sounded far too calm. That only made Leonard seriously worry for his friend's sanity, as if what he'd seen so far wasn't enough.

Khan practically growled at the young captain.

"Do not pretend you do this because you care for my welfare," he hissed, "You simply do not trust me."

Jim actually laughed at that.

"Of course I don't trust you," the captain replied, then to the doctor's shock, wound his arms around Khan's torso as best he could with the augment pinning him against the glass. "That doesn't mean I don't care."

Khan gave a disbelieving snort, but released his hold on Jim's arms.

"You deny me the opportunity to help my people because you believe I will behave needlessly recklessly, yet you have done the same by stepping into this cell with me. You are a hypocrite, Kirk," Khan stated, far more calmly, though no less angry. Leonard had to admit, Khan had a point. Jim frowned at the other man and let his hands drop once more to his side. To his credit, Jim didn't immediately rub at his undoubtedly sore arms.

"Maybe I am." The younger man admitted, much to Leonard's surprise. Khan gave him a long considering look, then shook his head slightly.

"No. But you are a poor liar," Khan concluded, the comment confusing the doctor until the augment reached out to grasp the younger man by the back of his neck and drag Jim into a fierce kiss. Even though Leonard had seen the building signs, he still couldn't quite believe it. When Jim's arms came up around Khan to draw him closer instead of pushing him away, he knew for certain.

Jim trusted Khan all right. Far more than he ever should have.

* * *

Well, that had gone better than Jim had hoped. Khan glowered angrily at him as Jim opened the corundum-silicate barrier to let himself out of the cell, but the man allowed him to do so without breaking his neck first, so he counted that as a win.

He'd known that Khan wouldn't take his decision well. But he figured he owed the man the courtesy of giving him the news 'man-to-man' so to speak, instead of hiding behind the unbreakable glass for protection. Maybe Khan was right, maybe he was a hypocrite for taking that chance. It could have easily gone another way if Khan's rage had overruled the man's control. But it hadn't. Jim was a bit sore, but he was still in one piece.

The kiss had been unexpected. Or at least definitely more unexpected than the first time; even though it had been good, it also somehow felt like Khan had been punishing him. Jim didn't understand why until he stepped into the hallway leading towards the turbolift and saw Bones standing there, and from the look on the doctor's face, he'd probably gotten a real eyeful.

Fuck. That bastard. Khan must have known that the doctor was there and done it on purpose.

"I can explain..." But Bones didn't let him explain. The doctor grabbed Jim by the arm, unfortunately right where Khan had gripped him earlier making the young man wince, and dragged him like a disobedient child to the turbolift. Once the doors of the lift closed behind them, the older man exploded.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?!"

Jim winced again. Okay, he probably deserved that, because it did look pretty bad.

"It's not what it looks like..." Boy, did that sound awfully lame, even to his own ears.

"Oh really?! Because it looked to me like you were in the goddamned brig, _kissing_ Khan! Of all the stupid immoral things I've seen you do just to get into someone's pants..."

"I'm not trying to get into his pants!" Jim defended himself, only to receive the doctor's patented 'do you honestly think I'm that stupid?' glare. "It's not like that, damn it!"

And it really, really wasn't. Jim was man enough to admit that he found Khan attractive, and sex between them would probably be - let's face it - fucking amazing. But that didn't mean he planned on doing anything about it. There was a big difference between wanting to do something, and actually doing it.

He hadn't expected Khan to kiss him last night. It had just kind of...happened in the heat of the moment. But he'd only been offering Khan a bit of comfort last night, he hadn't been trying to take advantage of the man. In fact, the very idea of it made Jim feel ill because he had a horrible feeling that Khan _had_ been taken advantage of when in a very vulnerable state, and violated in more ways than the augment had yet admitted.

He couldn't believe that Bones would actually accuse him of something...like that.

"You know me, Bones. You know I would never take advantage of him that way," Jim stated, unable to keep the hurt from his voice. Hearing it, the doctor's expression softened somewhat and Bones cursed softly under his breath.

"Jim, I've seen the way you look at him..." The doctor muttered, and it was Jim's turn to curse softly. He should have known that of anyone, Bones would have probably seen it first. The doctor had known him longer than anyone else on this ship, after all.

"Look, I... I know how it looks, but it's not what you think. The bastard only did it because he knew you were there. He's pissed off at me and he knew if you saw that, it would get a rise out of both of us," Jim explained.

Then again, it was hard to tell with Khan. The man's motives were always unclear at best. The augment was a master strategist, constantly manipulating everything and everyone around him to give him the advantage. Khan always had a game-plan and was ten steps ahead before you even knew what the game _was_. It was no wonder, really, that Jim always lost when playing chess against him. He often wondered if he was deluding himself thinking he could best Khan at this game.

Well, one thing was for certain, Jim was definitely going to have a chat with the augment later about that stunt he'd pulled, but now wasn't the time.

Jim's expression softened. "I know you don't believe me, but I know what I'm doing, and we've got bigger things to worry about right now. We can talk about this later."

Bones was still frowning at him unhappily, but he finally sighed and nodded firmly.

"You're damned right we will."


	18. Chapter 18

Kirk was a fool.

This was not a particularly new revelation for Khan, but at times the reminder was frustrating, especially since he was well aware that Kirk actually possessed an above-average level of intelligence for a normal human. The young captain was capable of surprising leaps of logic and strategy despite his relative inexperience with command. That, combined with his strong will and determination, made Kirk both a worthy ally and opponent.

Unfortunately, the man possessed many faults that often made him behave quite foolishly at times. His compassion made him overly-sympathetic to the plights of others, which also made him blind to certain manipulation. Khan wouldn't be surprised if it would one day lead to the young man's early demise as he was stabbed in the back by the very beings Kirk was trying to 'help'. His conscience, while admirable, prevented Kirk from making difficult decisions. Sometimes the best solution was the least honorable.

Khan had certainly played upon these faults with Kirk before, and would likely continue to do so. Unfortunately at the moment, these qualities that had made Kirk so easy to manipulate in the past were now causing him difficulty.

Khan ground his teeth in anger recalling the discussion with Kirk regarding the mission to free his people from Regula I. His rage still burned like hot acid just underneath his skin and the young captain was extremely lucky Khan had allowed him to leave the cell alive.

Kirk saw him as weak. The revelation was still quite...stunning. Khan should have suspected it. Despite Kirk's pretty words last night about believing he was the strongest man he had ever met, the young man obviously saw him as broken. It was probably unavoidable at this point; Kirk had seen him in a very vulnerable state, several times now, both physically and emotionally. And now Kirk knew most of his experiences at the hands of Starfleet.

He was not broken. His body was now all but healed from the physical traumas he'd had experienced. Mentally... Perhaps Kirk had reason to be concerned. With his mental shields so badly damaged it would be...difficult to endure not only the emotional suffering of his people, but the overwhelming negative emotions of the scientists of the research station as well. Unpleasant would definitely be an understatement. Potentially crippling was probably closer. But that didn't mean he was incapable of enduring!

Kirk had no right to make such a choice for him.

Had Kirk so easily forgotten that his experiences on Regula I had occurred long before his service and escape from Marcus, long before Khan had begun to take his revenge upon Starfleet? Kirk had certainly not thought of him as weak or broken then. Now somehow, Kirk believed he was too traumatized to participate in the mission to free his people?

He had warned Kirk not to forget what he was capable of... The foolish boy had stubbornly refused to heed his advice.

Khan looked down at the device in his hand. A simple communicator. One he had taken from Kirk while the captain had been...distracted. Kirk was far too trusting. He would learn his mistake all too soon.

* * *

The class D planetoid named Regula was located in the Mutara system, just on the edge of the Mutara Nebula, which was just about perfect for the Vulcan starship _Va'khen_ , as the high amounts of static discharge and ionized gases would make the sensors of the Regula I space station unreliable at best. The _Va'khen_ would be practically undetectable by normal means. Unfortunately, the nebula would also affect the _Va'khen's_ sensors; they would not be able to detect any nearby ships that might pass by and worse, the shields would be inoperable for as long as the ship remained inside of it. If they were discovered, the ship would be practically defenseless against attack. It was a risk, but a necessary one if they wanted their presence to remain unnoticed for as long as possible. Stealth and the element of surprise was the only advantage they had at the moment.

Boarding the Regula I space station undetected was not going to be easy. It was highly possible that given their previous infiltration of two of Section 31's bases of operations, Regula I's security measures would be much tighter. They did not have the time or resources to attempt to forge orders to allow their ship to dock. Forcing their way in was also out of the question, not with the potential of seventy-two hostages for the space stations security forces to hide behind.

Since they could not fool their way in, and they could not fight their way in, that left trying to sneak in undetected. There was no way they would be able to get the _Va'khen_ close enough for them to beam in undetected. But it was possible they could pilot a smaller shuttle close enough using the planetoid and the nebula to mask their approach.

Khan might not have been happy about Jim's refusal to allow him to join the away team, but he still had every reason to want them to succeed. Khan had readily given them all the information he knew about the space station, including many of its access codes. Jim hoped that information, along with the element of surprise, would allow a small away party to beam aboard, find Khan's crew, and beam them out before anyone even knew they'd been there.

Scotty and Chekov had been hard at work creating a transporter signal booster that could be attached to a person or an object (like a cryotube) and would allow the _Va'khen_ to beam the boosted person or thing directly back to the Vulcan ship despite any interference. The chief engineer had crafted enough of the small devices for potentially every member of Khan's crew and the away team, but it would be impossible to tell for certain if the devices would work until they used them. At least Scotty had seemed confident that they would work, and Jim had learned to trust his chief engineer completely.

It was almost time. The away team would consist of Jim, Spock, Uhura, and Scotty. Sulu would remain aboard the _Va'khen_ to pilot the ship in case they needed to make a quick getaway. Bones would also remain behind to begin treating Khan's crew the moment they were beamed aboard. Chekov would stay behind with Khan to hopefully help keep the augment calm. Scotty predicted that transmissions between the away team and the _Va'khen_ would be difficult, thanks to interference from the nebula. But if communication were possible, then Chekov could also relay messages between the augment and the away team if it became necessary.

If Khan's crew were conscious, and if they had suffered similar abuse as Khan had by the Section 31 scientists, there was a good chance the augments would not trust Kirk and the team, even if they claimed they were attempting to help. In that case, it might become necessary for Khan to speak directly to his crew.

Jim, Spock, and Uhura were standing together on the bridge going over last-minute preparations for the mission. Scotty was already in the shuttle bay prepping the shuttle for flight. The last thing Jim had expected in that moment was for Chekov to rush onto the bridge from the turbolift wearing a panicked expression. And Jim definitely wasn't prepared for the young man's words.

"Keptin! Khan is gone!"

* * *

Jim still couldn't quite believe it. All the way to the brig he hadn't believed it, even knowing that Chekov would never lie or joke about something like this. Even standing amongst the shattered remains of the glass barrier of the cell that should have been unbreakable...that somehow Khan had broken.

"Captain, I believe I've discovered how Khan managed to escape," Spock stated with his usual Vulcan calm. Jim wished he felt half as calm as Spock sounded. Jim turned to his first officer as the half-Vulcan knelt down to pick something up amongst the pieces of glass that littered the floor. It looked like the broken remains of a...communicator?

"What the hell is that?" Bones asked, standing next to Jim. Spock responded by pressing a button on the communicator which immediately let out a loud shrill sound that had Jim crying out in surprise and throwing his hands over his ears for protection. The Vulcan immediately shut off the device with an unmistakable wince.

"It appears Khan modified this communicator to emit the precise frequency and pitch needed to shatter the corundum-silicate glass," Spock said, sounding rather impressed in spite of the situation. "The question is, how did he acquire the communicator?"

Jim felt his neck flush as understanding settled in, and he could practically feel the doctor's glare. The augment must have taken it from Jim earlier when he had pushed him up against the wall and kissed him. Jim might have noticed before if he hadn't been distracted by Bones.

Son of a bitch...

"If he used that thing, at the very least he could have ruptured his ear drums. At worst it could have caused major internal hemorrhaging before the glass broke," Bones gravely observed, which was even worse than the 'I told you so' that was probably on the tip of the doctor's tongue. Khan was certainly desperate enough to cause himself major injury in an effort to reach his people. It was the very reason Jim had wanted to keep Khan here in the first place. He should have realized Khan was planning something the moment the augment gave in so 'easily'. But he'd allowed Khan to distract him...

_"If you have so easily forgotten what I am capable of, Captain, I can assure you, it will be your last mistake."_

Fuck. Even Khan had tried to 'warn' him...and Jim hadn't listened.

"Computer! Locate Khan," Jim demanded, though even as the words left his lips he knew it wouldn't be that easy. His fears were confirmed when the computer replied:

_"Unable to comply with request."_

Of course the first thing Khan would have done was see that it was impossible to track him. But it didn't matter; there was only one place Khan would have gone. And besides killing them all and taking over the _Va'khen_ , there was only one other way for Khan to reach Regula I.

The shuttle in the hangar bay... Scotty...

"Scotty, come in!" Jim's heart thundered in his chest with each second that passed without answer. "Scotty!"

Still no reply.

_Son of a bitch!_

* * *

Khan looked up when he heard Kirk's voice over the ship's intercom. It was sooner than expected, but it didn't matter. They would be too late.

He stepped over the fallen body on the ground. The man was only unconscious, not dead. He would wake with an intense headache from the blow that Khan had dealt him, but he otherwise was unharmed. The young captain probably wouldn't appreciate what a courtesy Khan had paid him for that. It would have served Kirk right if Khan had killed this man to remind him of exactly what he was capable of if Kirk crossed him.

Khan closed his eyes with a sigh, leaning against the side of the shuttle that had almost finished its pre-take off operations. His ears were still ringing painfully and his entire body throbbed. He spat out a mouthful of blood and wiped his lips with the back of his hand. Hopefully most of the damage would have healed by the time he reached Regula I, he would need all of his strength if he was going to succeed in his mission to save his people. Damn Kirk for forcing his hand this way. Did the boy really think he would sit idly by and do nothing when his people were so close?

_"Khan!"_

Kirk's shout over the intercom made the augment wince. Any loud noise was going to be very uncomfortable for a while until the damage to his ears healed. As it was, he was nearly deaf in both ears and blood trickled uncomfortably down his neck from the injured orifices. Several blood vessels had also burst in his eyes making him look like he was weeping blood. He imagined he made quite the sight.

It didn't matter. Nothing would stop him from his goal. Not Kirk. Not Section 31. Certainly not such trivial injuries. Khan finished entering the sequence of code that would override the security protocols and allow him to open the shuttle bay door. He made sure the magnetic field would remain intact so Kirk's crew member would not be sucked out into the vacuum of space when Khan piloted the shuttle out of the ship's hangar.

Another courtesy. Perhaps he was growing soft...

Loud banging began to echo from the hangar bay door and made him wince again, but he remained unconcerned. It would take far too much time to break the coded lock Khan had programmed on the doors.

"Too late, Kirk," Khan muttered under his breath, stepping around the man on the floor a second time to board the shuttle.

"Khan!" Kirk's muffled shout was cut off when Khan sealed the shuttle door behind him.

* * *

Jim could only watch helplessly behind the impenetrable hangar door as the shuttle smoothly took off and flew from the _Va'khen_ 's shuttle bay.

"Goddamn it! Get this door open, now!" the young captain yelled. It took several minutes before Spock could get the bay door open. Bones rushed in ahead of them to examine the unmoving Scotsman on the floor as soon as the door began to open. Jim's breath and heart froze until the doctor turned to him.

"He's fine, Jim, just unconscious."

Relief washed through Jim, but it was momentary at best. He turned to look out into space where the shuttle had disappeared and then whirled to Spock.

"We have to go after him."

Spock frowned.

"Captain, if we move the _Va'khen_ out of the nebula it is highly likely Regula I's sensors will detect us. Any advantage of surprise we may have had will be lost." There was uncharacteristic tension in Spock's voice. The fact that he even voiced it showed just how disturbed the Vulcan was by these turn of events.

Jim swore loudly and dragged his fingers through his hair in frustration. They couldn't go after the augment, either to stop him or to help him. There was nothing they could do to stop Khan from getting himself killed...or worse, captured...

And it was all Jim's fault...


	19. Chapter 19

Jim stood stunned in place in the middle of the hangar bay, unable to comprehend how fucked-up things had gotten in just a few minutes. Goddamn Khan for his stupid, stubborn determination to do everything on his own. After everything that they had been through...

All right, maybe Jim had originally sought Khan out with the intent to use him for information. But things had changed since then. Dramatically. After everything they had tried to do to help Khan so far, and the man still didn't trust them? Not with his people, at any rate. Khan might trust them enough to leave his own fate in their hands, but not the fate of his people. Not those he held most dear...

It was his own fault for not seeing just how desperate Khan was. Jim had fallen for the act. He hadn't listened to Khan, hadn't read between the lines. This was as much his fault as it was Khan's.

Determination suddenly made Jim's expression harden. He'd made a mistake. Khan had made a mistake. Well, he wasn't just going to let the man die because of it.

"Mr. Chekov, meet me in the transporter room. Bones, get Scotty to the medbay," Jim ordered and rushed out of the hangar bay, ignoring the confused shouts from both Bones and Spock.

The half-Vulcan easily caught up with him in the corridor, however.

"Captain, may I ask what you are planning?" Spock's query held that unmistakable edge in its tone that he employed whenever he thought Jim was about to do something stupid. Well, in this case, he was probably right to use it. Jim didn't answer until he reached Scotty's workshop where he grabbed one of the remaining transporter signal boosters from the table.

"I'm going after him," Jim finally answered as he attached the device to his clothing. It didn't take long for Spock to put together what he was planning to do.

"Captain, the signal boosters were not designed to aid in transporting objects from inside the nebula. With the static interference it will be impossible to calculate accurate coordinates," the Vulcan began, but Jim cut him off.

"The rest of the signal boosters are on that shuttle. Khan wouldn't have left without them. They're his only chance of getting his people off of that space station. The shuttle isn't that far away yet. Between this one and the ones on the shuttle Chekov should be able to beam me there without trouble." Hopefully in one piece, but Jim didn't say that.

Apparently Spock was having the same concerns, because he grabbed Jim's arm before the young man could leave for the transporter room.

"It is too dangerous."

"I'm not going to let him do this alone. He's going to get himself killed or worse and I'm not letting that happen," Jim shot back, his expression hard and determined. Spock looked torn. The captain could tell his friend and first office did not want to see him take such a risk, but at the same time, letting Khan go off on his own wasn't really an option. If nothing else, the man was still a prisoner in their custody. They couldn't exactly risk having Khan on the loose again after everything the augment had done.

"Allow me to accompany you, Captain." Spock decided to change tactics apparently. Jim shook his head.

"You put Khan on edge even at the best of times, and he's not exactly listening to reason right now. I want you in command while I'm gone and I want Uhura monitoring transmissions at all times, in case we get into trouble. Have Chekov ready in the transporter room to beam us, and hopefully Khan's people, out of there as soon as we give the word." As far as Jim was concerned, the plan hadn't changed all that much. He certainly hadn't wanted to include Khan in this, but there was no changing that now. And Jim doubted he'd manage to convince the man to return to the _Va'khen_ willingly without his crew.

Spock still looked very reluctant, but eventually, he nodded and released Jim's arm. Jim gave the Vulcan what he hoped was a reassuring smile before rushing to the transporter room.

It only took a moment to fill Chekov in on the situation, and though the young man looked extremely uncomfortable at what Jim was asking him to do, at least he didn't tell Jim that he was crazy or going to get himself killed, even though he might have been thinking it.

"Do you think it will work?" Jim asked.

"I would not recommend it, but yes, Captain," the young ensign said and Jim slapped him affectionately on the shoulder.

"Good man." Jim stepped onto the transporter pad.

"Jim." He turned his attention to the Vulcan when Spock said his name, and smiled faintly when he held up his hand in a ta'al gesture. Jim didn't try to return it, knowing he would probably butcher it, but he did give Spock a small salute.

"All right, let's do this." Jim tried to sound more confident than he felt. If he survived this, once he was done saving Khan's ass, he was going to kill him!

* * *

Jim materialized in the small cargo hold of the shuttle clutching his midsection and gasping for breath. It was one of the worst transporter trips he'd experienced, and that included the first transwarp trip he'd taken with Scotty to get from Delta Vega to the _Enterprise_. But he'd made it and was still in one piece. If he was missing a few atoms here and there, he couldn't tell.

He allowed himself a small sigh of relief before he reached for his new communicator, courtesy of Spock.

"Kirk to the _Va'khen_. I'm on the shuttle. I'll send word once we reach Regula I."

 _"Understood, Captain. Good luck,"_ Uhura's voice came back, sounding immensely relieved.

Jim allowed himself a small smile before his expression darkened and he stalked towards the cockpit. He jammed the button to open the door with more force than was strictly necessary, and was a little bit surprised when it actually opened. Khan must have surely sensed his presence the second Jim materialized, and if he'd wanted to, could have tried locking Jim in the cargo hold. It would have just pissed Jim off more, and probably wouldn't have held him for very long, but he was still a bit surprised Khan hadn't tried it.

"Khan!" Jim's shout reverberated in the small cockpit, and he didn't miss the small sound of discomfort the augment made from the pilot's seat.

"I would appreciate it if you would keep your voice down for the time being, Captain," the augment requested. It wasn't difficult for Jim to see the reason for the request when he spun the seat around and glared down at the occupant.

A good amount of blood trailed down Khan's neck from his ears, though most of it looked dry by now. There was also quite a bit of it on the augment's face, appearing almost like red tear tracks. His eyes were a gruesome bloody red as well. It made Jim's angry glare falter in spite of himself, even though seeing the damage Khan had caused himself pissed him off.

"I would kick your ass right now if I didn't think your head might pop if I did," Jim said angrily but he kept his voice down. He didn't want to cause Khan unnecessary pain right now, even if the man might deserve it for his own stupidity.

Khan snorted softly.

"I will consider myself fortunate then," Khan said sarcastically, then looked Jim up and down with a frown. "That was a very foolish thing to do." He'd no doubt guessed how Jim managed to get on the shuttle.

"You're one to talk!" Jim snapped, making Khan wince again, and the young captain sighed in frustration. It was difficult to stay angry at the augment when he was covered in blood. Jim shook his head and went to look for a first aid kit from the hold. When he returned to the cockpit, Khan still hadn't moved, and he watched Jim warily as he set down the kit and opened it. Jim unsealed a sterile wipe and made to clean the blood off the other man's neck.

When Khan started to pull away Jim snapped, "Sit still, damn it."

To his surprise, Khan obeyed, letting Jim wash away the dried blood. It was a few minutes before either of them spoke again.

"What are you doing?" Khan demanded, and Jim had a feeling he wasn't just talking about Jim wiping off his face.

"Did you really think I'd let you go off on your own? I'm starting to doubt your so-called superior intelligence."

"I do not need your help."

"Too bad, you're getting it," Jim replied. Khan's hand shot up to grab Jim's in a firm grip. The augment glared up at him, and Jim returned it equally. Khan opened his mouth, but Jim decided to cut him off. "If this is where you say how easily it would be to kill me or something, save your breath. We both know you won't do it."

Khan's glare intensified, as though he were truly contemplating calling Jim's bluff. Jim continued unheeded.

"This isn't the way I wanted to do this. It's stupid. Reckless. You're probably going to get us both killed. But there's no changing it now, unless you're planning on turning the shuttle around..." The firm set of Khan's mouth told him enough. "I didn't think so. So we might as well make the best of the situation."

Khan stared up at him silently for a long moment before finally releasing his wrist and Jim decided to take that as the augment's agreement to cooperate. For now. Jim gave a small nod and went back to cleaning off Khan's face.

"How long before we reach Regula I?" Jim asked after a time.

"Thirty minutes, at most." Khan replied.

"Will this be healed by then?"

"Most likely."

"Good."

And apparently that was the end of the discussion.

* * *

Khan glanced over from the corner of his eye to where the young captain sat in the co-pilot's chair. Kirk's arrival on the shuttle had been unexpected. He'd seen the evidence of the young man's recklessness before, but even Khan hadn't predicted Kirk would behave so foolishly. It was almost a miracle that the captain's atoms had not been completely scattered to the solar winds, and Khan couldn't understand why Kirk would take such a risk.

He knew Kirk was fully capable of risking his life, even sacrificing his life, for his crew. It was a quality that Khan could understand, and even admire in the younger man. But in this case, there was virtually no risk to Kirk or his crew as long as they remained in the nebula. Either Khan would have succeeded in his task and freed his crew, or he would have been captured and killed. The _Va'khen_ could easily escape undetected and Kirk could resume his quest in uncovering the corruption within his precious Starfleet.

Instead, Kirk had risked his life to come after him...to help him.

When Khan had first felt Kirk's presence, and his anger towards him, he had fully expected the younger man to attempt to force him to return to the _Va'khen_. Khan might have been injured, but certainly not enough to prevent him from defeating one measly human. He did not particularly wish to kill Kirk, but he would if he had to, if the foolish boy still hadn't learned his lesson about standing in his way.

But Kirk hadn't tried to stop him, hadn't even tried to 'reason' with him to return to the Vulcan ship. Rather, Kirk had insisted he would help, and Khan could either accept that help or...

Khan had decided to accept the offer, as long as Kirk didn't get in his way. He had even allowed the younger man to tend to his injuries. It was not the first time that Kirk had done this, and the habit was becoming a little unsettling. At least with the doctor, Khan understood his motives; it was his job to care for the wounded. But Kirk? The young captain's anger at Khan's betrayal had radiated off him and yet Kirk had been gentle with him.

Kirk was still angry with him, though outwardly the young man hid it well, appearing to concentrate on nothing more than the controls in front of them as they piloted the shuttle towards Regula. But Khan could feel it. Mingled with the anger was unmistakable concern, for Kirk's crew no doubt, but also directed towards him, something that still mystified Khan. Unease and anticipation, most likely regarding the upcoming mission. And something else...

Faint. But...

When Khan realized what it was, his eyes widened in surprise.

_Oh Captain... You are even more foolish than I thought._

* * *

"Not much of a view," Jim muttered under his breath as he looked out the viewport. The planetoid Regula was nothing more than a huge dead rock orbiting around a distant sun. Utterly lifeless. Well, they weren't here for the view anyway.

They had piloted the small shuttle as close to Regula as they dared. The space station was currently orbiting on the other side of the planetoid. They hoped by keeping Regula between the station and their shuttle, their presence would be masked from the station's sensors. There didn't seem to be any increased activity from it, so Jim assumed so far, so good.

"Kirk to _Va'khen_." Jim contacted his ship through the shuttle's comm. There was a loud burst of static at first, but then he heard Uhura's voice. It was a bit distorted but still recognizable at least.

_"We read you, Captain."_

"We've arrived at the planetoid. Monitor all frequencies and let us know if you notice anything out of the ordinary."

_"Yes, Captain."_

Jim ended the transmission and turned to stare at Khan. The augment didn't look well. Despite Khan's assurance that he had recovered sufficiently from his injuries, the man was far too pale and his entire body was rigid with tension. Jim had noticed it some time ago, but Khan seemed to get worse the closer they got to Regula. Jim had a good guess as to why.

"Are you all right?" he asked, bracing himself for Khan to snap at him as he normally tended to, treating Jim's concern like an insult. He didn't quite expect Khan to turn to him with wide, almost panicked eyes.

"I cannot feel them."

Jim blinked in surprise. He definitely hadn't been expecting that... So he could probably be forgiven for his stupid reply. "What?"

"I should be able to feel them this close. If any of them were revived...I should... But I feel nothing." Khan was practically whispering.

Jim swallowed hard.

"Maybe they're still in cryosleep?" Jim wasn't sure he wanted to consider the other reasons why Khan might not be able to feel his people, mostly because he didn't want to think about what Khan might do. Either Khan's crewmates weren't here, or...

They were all dead.


	20. Chapter 20

Khan had thought he was prepared. Ever since Kirk had told him of the possible location of his people, knowing the most likely fate of those he held most dear, he had been trying to steel himself. Coming to terms with his own trauma at the hands of the Starfleet scientists on Regula I was hard enough to deal with, especially with his mental barriers in shambles. He could not imagine what it would be like to feel his people suffering similar fates...

During the Eugenics War he'd felt when his friends had been injured, could feel their fear and agony as they died. He'd known something had happened to his beloved sister when that bright center of joy in his mind had one day suddenly gone out. Though he hadn't wanted to believe what that meant, and could still barely believe it even when he witnessed with his own eyes her mutilated remains. Their lives had been so full of pain then, so full of fear, uncertainty, and a growing anger at the sufferance at the hands of their creators. Khan had hoped never to feel that again.

Waking to the silence in his mind from cryosleep had been disorientating and terrifying. But he had thought, at the time, it was better to feel nothing at all than to feel the suffering of his people. He was wrong. At least then, he would have known they were asleep, perhaps not safe in their cryotubes, but at least unaware of the pain those who'd been woken had suffered. But now...even knowing the agony it would cause him, as soon as they began nearing Regula, he couldn't help but seek out the minds of his people. He was eager to feel their familiar touch, no matter what pain it might cause him. If he was able to offer the slightest bit of reassurance that he was coming for them, that their suffering would soon be at an end, then all the better.

Yet even though Kirk's presence beside him was grounding, the nearer they got to Regula I, Khan could still feel no trace of his people, and the worse the vast yawning emptiness in his mind felt. He had not realized just how much he had closed himself off from them until he actively began reaching out, expecting to feel some glimmer of awareness in return, and finding none. Even pain would have been preferable to this cold aching void.

_"Maybe they're still in cryosleep?"_

Kirk did not believe his own words, he could feel it. The younger man's doubts only fueled his own fears. That, in turn, fueled his anger.

"More likely this so called source of yours has attempted to lead us into a trap!" Khan snapped, his eyes blazing as he glared at Kirk. Of course, why had he allowed himself to believe it would be so easy? He had let his own sentimentality blind him. The worst part was it would have worked. It was pathetic how easily he had nearly fallen for it, and he was more angry at himself for his own foolishness than with Kirk, but the captain was an easy target at the moment.

The young man looked taken aback by the sheer venom in Khan's tone but quickly regrouped.

"She wouldn't." Kirk insisted.

She? Why was he not surprised? Khan resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Who?" he snarled instead.

He could feel Kirk's uneasiness increase, and the young man actually looked _ashamed_.

"It doesn't matter..."

"Who!"

Kirk sighed softly before admitting, "Carol Marcus."

Khan couldn't help but stare at the young man for a long time, utterly disbelieving. Because there was stupidity, and then there was...whatever this was.

"She didn't betray us," Kirk insisted, and Khan laughed bitterly in spite of everything.

"Oh, yes. Why would a woman who watched me crush her father's skull possibly want revenge?" Sarcasm and acid dripped from every one of Khan's words.

Instead of cowering at his accusations, Kirk retaliated.

"Not everyone is like you, Khan!" the younger man argued. "In case you've forgotten, she stood with us _against_ her father. Tried to stop him from killing us all, including you and your people."

"Even you can't possibly be so foolish," Khan replied in disbelief. There was a big difference between not liking, or even disobeying one's father, and not caring or wanting to punish the man who'd killed him.

"Look, if you don't think it's worth the risk to check it out, then just say so. We can still turn around. It's your call," Kirk stated with exasperation. Khan admitted he was surprised that the young captain would leave any 'command' decision up to him. But then they would not be here at all if not for his crew. Kirk had only come here as a 'favor' to him, an effort to keep the promises he'd made to look for Khan's crew, to ensure their safety if he could.

And what if Kirk was right? What if his crew were there, still in cryosleep, and that was the only reason why Khan could not feel them? What if his crew was really that close and he simply left them there because of his own...cowardice?

Khan's expression hardened in determination.

"We will continue with the plan," he said decisively. Kirk nodded and turned his attention back to the controls. Khan watched the younger man for a moment more before he did the same.

* * *

Jim really hoped this wouldn't come back to bite them in the ass.

Even though he still believed with a certainty that Carol Marcus would never betray them, there was always the possibility that the young woman had been fed false information. There was always a possibility that Khan was right and they were walking right into a trap.

Was it worth the risk?

One look at Khan, the augment's expression now resolved and determined, and Jim had his answer.

"We're in position," he told the augment unnecessarily, and received a small nod in return. Jim set the shuttle's controls to autopilot so that it would continue to orbit around Regula, keeping the planetoid between the shuttle and the space station. Khan rose from his seat and moved towards the shuttle's small cargo hold. Jim took a deep breath then followed.

Khan handed him a phaser from the case they'd packed. Jim didn't bother to check if it was set to stun, he knew it wasn't.

"Are you ready for this?" Jim asked, an awkward smile curling his lips. Khan gave him the look Jim had been expecting. Like he thought Jim was an idiot.

"Are you?" The augment humored him anyway, even though he didn't seem too pleased by the reminder of a similar mission that hadn't ended well for either of them. Well, one thing was different about this mission at least: this time they would be working together, not against each other.

Jim gave a determined nod.

"Let's do this then."

If the portable transwarp beaming device that Scotty had modified based on Khan's own design worked like it should, they should be able to get on the space station without being detected. Then came the hard part - finding Khan's crew. Since Khan couldn't feel his people, they were hopefully still in cryosleep, which meant searching the facility for the tubes. It wasn't exactly a small facility, and Khan's imprisonment there had been pretty much restricted to the lab areas. If they were forced to search the station extensively, there was probably little chance of getting in and out without being detected at some point.

Jim took a deep breath and hefted the bag of signal boosters over his shoulder. Khan finished programming the transwarp device and looked to Jim. He gave the augment a nod, and soon the golden light of the transporter began to swirl around them.

* * *

They reappeared in a deserted storage room, Khan's calculations thankfully a little better than when Scotty had beamed Spock and him aboard the _Narada_. The last thing Jim expected was for Khan to suddenly sway on his feet. Jim had to quickly reach out to steady the augment so he didn't fall.

"Are you all right?" Jim asked worriedly, and that worry only grew when Khan clutched at him for a few moments before straightening.

"I'm fine," the augment replied, but the strain in Khan's voice told him the man was lying.

"Bullshit." That earned him a glare, and Khan released him and stepped away, looking pale but at least he was standing on his own. "What happened?"

Khan gave him that 'are you really that stupid' look he'd perfected, but answered, "The same thing that happened on board the _Va'khen_ after your Vulcan broke down the mental barriers in my mind. Unfortunately there are many more people on this space station than your ship."

Understanding dawned, but before Jim could suggest...well, anything...Khan snapped at him.

"I am _fine_. It was a momentary shock," Khan insisted, and Jim wasn't sure how he could argue with that, considering he knew nothing about how the augment's empathy worked. So Jim merely nodded.

"Do you feel anything that suggests they know we're here?" he asked instead. Khan looked thoughtful then concentrated for a few moments before shaking his head.

"No."

"All right." Well, Khan's empathy might come in handy after all. "Let's see if we can find a terminal."

Between Jim's hacking skills and Khan's knowledge of Starfleet codes they should be able to easily break into the station's computer and find out if the cryotubes were here, and if so, where they were being stored.

It didn't take long, and Jim went to work while Khan kept look-out. Jim had to admit, the security on Regula I was impressive. It took Jim the better part of an hour before he gained access to the system and found what he was looking for.

"They're here," he said excitedly, and Khan's hopeful relieved look made all of this worth it. "Three levels up. Storage area. Doesn't seem to be heavily guarded."

Khan nodded and they headed off. They knew better than to take the turbolifts; they didn't want to enable their movements to be tracked. The maintenance ducts weren't exactly the fastest or easiest to navigate but they would also have less chance of running into opposition. It took them another hour to reach the level and the area the computer had indicated the cryotubes were being stored.

The security code on the door was a little tougher to hack and Jim was afraid Khan might simply tear the door open with his bare hands rather than wait for him, but he finally managed. Khan pushed his way past Jim as soon as the doors slid open and Jim followed.

Seeing the cryotubes lined up in the room, all seventy-two by the looks of it, Jim felt a surge of triumph and elation fill him. But the second he looked at Khan he knew something was wrong. Khan's expression, as he stood next to one of the tubes, was twisted in a mask of grief, the like Jim had never seen. Jim went to stand beside him and let out a gasp.

The cryotube was empty. Jim rushed over to the next one. It was empty as well. As was the next and the next.

They were all empty...


	21. Chapter 21

On the bridge of the _Va'khen_ Spock stood staring out the viewscreen, watching as the ionized gasses of the Mutara Nebula swirled in colors of blue, violet, and red. Every so often the build-up of static discharge would ignite the ionized gasses, the effect not dissimilar to the electrostatic discharge created during lightning storms on Earth.

"It's really something, isn't it?"

Spock blinked and turned to look at Nyota as the young woman came to stand beside him. He had been so distracted he had not even noticed her approach. Her gaze was focused on the nebula beyond the viewscreen, so he assumed her observation pertained to that.

"I've found that the interval between bursts of static discharge is constant; this information could prove invaluable when we transport the captain back to the ship to avoid interference..."

"You're such a romantic," she teased him good-naturedly.

Spock pondered this for a moment before turning his attention back to the swirling gasses around the ship. This wasn't the first time Nyota had said something similar to him. It usually occurred when she thought he was 'missing the point' of her words. Several minutes passed before he spoke again.

"In five million years these gasses and dust clouds will have formed into a planet, or even a star, potentially bringing new life into this sector." Spock stated, matter-of-factly. Silence followed, and he turned to her once more and found Nyota smiling at him strangely.

"Spock, that was almost poetic," she said, and Spock merely raised an eyebrow in reply.

"It is only logical," he then qualified.

"Of course," she replied, though the smile she wore slipped from her face. "You're worried about the captain."

It was not a question.

"It has been two point five hours since the captain's last transmission," Spock gave by way of answer. While he logically knew that any number of unforeseen circumstances could delay a status update from the captain, that did not erase the unease Spock felt. He still did not agree with Jim's decision to go after Khan alone when the augment had escaped. He certainly did not agree with the young man's decision to carry out the mission with Khan. Why then, had he allowed the captain to proceed? His misgivings certainly had not been eased when Dr. McCoy had expressed his opinion upon hearing what had occurred.

_"How could you let him go alone?! He's going to get himself killed!"_

It was fascinating how the doctor's objections to Jim going after Khan were the same as the captain's had been. Jim had feared that Khan's rash actions would end with the augment's death. Or worse. Was it the 'or worse' which had swayed Spock's decision? He knew well what fate potentially awaited Khan should he be recaptured. Even if those risks were not present, allowing Khan to simply escape their custody was not an option. But letting Jim go after Khan alone... Had he acted illogically? Emotionally? Every moment that passed seemed to increase his doubts. There were so many potential risks, almost too many to calculate.

"I'm sure the captain knows what he's doing..." Uhura offered cautiously. There had been quite a few times when Nyota had expressed the exact opposite, therefore it was difficult to decipher whether she truly believed that or if she were only saying thus in an attempt to reassure him.

_"Kirk to the Va'khen!"_

The sudden transmission interrupted their discussion before Spock could formulate a reply, and the agitation expressed in the captain's voice did not bode well. Nyota rushed to her station quickly to receive the comm.

"We read you, Captain," Nyota replied. Though composed, Spock could hear the unmistakable tension in her voice.

 _"Beam us back now! Right-"_ The transmission was cut off suddenly by a loud burst of static.

"Lieutenant, please try to regain contact with the captain," Spock ordered, only years of discipline preventing all of his...fears...from bleeding through in his voice. "Spock to transporter room, lock onto Captain Kirk's and Khan's signal and beam them back immediately."

 _"Yes, sir,"_ Ensign Chekov responded while Uhura did her best to regain contact with Jim.

" _Va'khen_ to Captain Kirk? Please respond. Captain?" More static was the only reply.

 _"Transporter room to Commander Spock, I am unable to lock onto the captain's signal..."_ Chekov's worried reply made all of the half-Vulcan's misgivings, unease, and fear solidify in his stomach like a ball of lead.

"Captain! Please respond..."

There was no response.

* * *

Jim watched in horror as Khan's expression morphed from stunned grief to something much darker. He knew what Khan was thinking. Jim couldn't help but think the same, but he could not allow Khan to believe it. Not without proof. Perhaps not even then, because Jim wasn't sure any of them would survive the augment's vengeance a second time.

"They might still be alive. Khan..." Jim tried to reason with the other man, but the look that Khan shot him quickly proved that the augment was beyond reasoning with.

Khan abruptly tore off the transporter signal booster from his shirt, turned and strode out of the room with a terrible purpose.

"Shit!" Jim cursed and quickly rushed after the man. He grabbed his communicator. "Kirk to the _Va'khen_!"

_"We read you, Captain."_

"Beam us back now! Right-" He caught up to the man and grabbed Khan by the arm. That proved to be Jim's first mistake. Khan reacted to the innocent touch like a full-on attack, and proved to Jim that the previous times that the augment had struck him, Khan had been holding back. This blow sent Jim flying at least fifteen feet to crash into the row of cryotubes with bone-jarring force. He heard crunching metal - hell, maybe even crunching bone - and shattering glass. His head struck something hard upon impact and the pain was quickly swallowed by darkness.

* * *

Jim wasn't sure how much time had passed since he lost consciousness, all he knew was the blaring alarm and flashing red lights weren't doing his pounding head any good. He groaned in the back of his throat and forced his eyes open. The alarm that had woken him was no doubt the space station's security set to red alert. Jim had a pretty good guess as to why. Khan was nowhere to be found.

He tried to get up and immediately cried out in pain as various injuries made themselves known all over his body. He felt like it was one huge throbbing bruise, but he still had sensation in his legs, so he hoped that meant he hadn't broken his back. Gritting his teeth, Jim slowly pushed himself up, using whatever was around him for support. He noted absently how the metal behind him had actually _dented_ from where he'd hit it and cursed Khan again. It was probably a miracle that Khan hadn't killed him. He wondered if the augment would have felt the slightest bit of remorse if he had.

He stumbled a few times in pain but managed to stay on his feet and moved as quickly as possible. He had to find Khan. It was obvious the crew of the space station knew they were here. It might not be long before reinforcements were called. He had to get Khan back to the _Va'khen_ and get them the hell out of the sector before that happened. Jim was in no mood to die today.

Shortly, Jim came upon Khan's...trail. The first twisted and bloody remains were barely recognizable as human; they were barely more than...pieces. The ones that followed weren't much of an improvement: missing limbs, missing or crushed heads. One man looked like he'd been folded in half the wrong way. There were very few phaser wounds on the bodies. It seemed Khan was more interested in venting his rage with his bare hands.

Jim swallowed down the taste of bile in his throat. No, Jim had never forgotten what Khan was capable of; he'd watched the augment crush Admiral Marcus' skull with his bare hands, but this...

What was he going to do when he found Khan? He had to stop him...had to stop this... But if the augment hadn't exactly been listening to reason before, he sure as hell didn't seem to be now. What if Jim tried to stop Khan and ended up like these scientists? Khan hadn't killed him yet, but that might only be because Jim was lucky, not because Khan hadn't intended to.

No, if Khan had wanted him dead, Jim would be dead, these bodies proved that much. He had to believe he could reach Khan somehow. He'd done it before, he could do it again.

The more bodies Jim came across the less hopeful he became. But at least the gruesome trail made it easy to find the augment. The bloody trail ended in a room full of monitors. Khan sat in a chair in front of them and did not bother to acknowledge Jim when he entered the room. He seemed completely transfixed by the images on the screens, and as soon as Jim realized what the augment was watching, the young man gasped.

"Oh my god." Any anger Jim might have felt at Khan for the injury the augment had caused him, or the senseless brutality with which Khan had quite literally torn apart the men and women here, died a quick death. Each screen was different. Each one seemed to be a record of...the experiments done aboard the space station. Jim did not recognize any of the people depicted in the images, but he could certainly make guesses as to their identities. Bile rose up in the young man's throat again, nearly choking him, and he stared at Khan with renewed horror.

Why was Khan watching this? Why was he putting himself through this...?

"Khan..."

"Spare me your meaningless condolences." Khan's tone was cold end empty and that was far more troubling than any display of anger would have been. But it didn't stop Jim from moving closer to the augment despite the possible danger.

"Look, I know..."

"You know nothing."

Jim winced.

"No. You're right. I don't. But we can't stay here."

"If you wish to leave, then go. No one is stopping you, Captain."

"I'm not leaving without you," Jim snapped in spite of his determination not to provoke Khan any more than he already had. That, at least, got the augment to turn around in the chair to face Jim instead of the monitors. The man looked like a wreck. His clothes were covered with phaser burns and there was blood all over his face and hands. Jim couldn't tell if it was Khan's or the people he'd killed. Though looking into Khan's eyes was worse than anything the young captain could have imagined. They looked dead...

"I suppose you think you can force me to leave?"

"I will if I have to," Jim said with determination, and Khan smirked slowly. There was still no emotion in the augment's eyes, and along with the streaks of blood, it made Khan's expression frightening, to say the least. The elder man gave him a pointed look up and down.

"I would like to see you try, Captain." Something in his tone told Jim that if he called Khan's bluff this time, that the augment really would kill him. No question. No remorse. Could Jim really blame the man? What did Khan have left to live for?

"Please-" Jim began but didn't get to finish. Khan suddenly lunged at him and Jim had no time to even think about dodging the attack. The second Khan hit him, Jim heard the sound of phaser fire open up behind him. He felt a searing pain in his leg and he cried out, before the air was knocked from his lungs as he hit the ground with Khan on top of him. He heard the sound of more phaser fire while he lay there dazed, in pain, and gasping for breath before the augment finally levered himself off of him. Khan looked down and Jim followed his gaze. His thigh was a smoldering wound that was bleeding profusely.

"Shit..." Jim muttered and Khan glared at him as though it were his fault he'd been shot. The elder man pressed his hand down hard on the wound, and Jim cried out again dark spots danced before his eyes. Khan quickly tore the gold shirt off of Jim and ripped it into several long pieces. He then bound the wound tightly, earning some creative cursing from Jim in the process. Jim distracted himself by looking over at the men that Khan had just gunned down in the doorway.

"Reinforcements?" Jim guessed.

"Section 31 most likely," Khan replied and finished tying off the tourniquet with a sharp yank that made Jim groan. "If you wish to live, I suggest you contact your ship, Captain."

With that, Khan got up and started moving towards the doorway. Jim made a grab for the augment but missed.

"I'm not just going to leave you here!" Jim yelled after him.

"Then die," Khan replied as though he did not care. But that couldn't be true. If Khan didn't care whether he lived or died, then why push him out of the way of the phaser fire? Why take the time to bind his wound? Jim racked his brain trying to think of something he could say to get through to Khan. To make him change his mind about this...this... Jim could only assume it was some kind of suicide run.

"You can't avenge them if you're dead!"

* * *

Kirk's words made Khan freeze. Of course the young man could not know that those had been his exact thoughts when he had fled from his captivity under Admiral Marcus. It was what he'd told himself every night after his escape to allow himself to sleep as he pursued his vengeance. He'd had no choice; any attempt to free his people at that point would have only resulted in his own death. The only thing he could offer them was vengeance.

Now he wondered if his decision was simply a different form of cowardice, something he, and no one who valued their lives, would have ever accused him of before. Now...

He had thought that Marcus had killed his people. In return Khan had waged war against the admiral and the entirety of Starfleet.

He had thought that Spock had killed his crew when the torpedoes detonated aboard the _Vengeance_. He had crashed the remains of his ship into Starfleet Headquarters, hoping to take out as much of the corrupt organization as possible and join his people in death at the same time. When that had failed and he'd had the opportunity to kill the murderer of his people, he'd taken it, and failed again.

Now he knew that Section 31 had experimented on and killed his people. He'd seen the evidence of it. His family, who had trusted him with their lives, suffering the same horrors that Khan himself had suffered. Once more, the only thing he could offer his people was vengeance. But he was not sure if his rage alone was enough to sustain him. Not anymore.

Khan slowly turned to look at Kirk, then beyond him to the monitors which still played the atrocities committed against his people. He could stay here, where his people had suffered and died, kill as many of them as possible, and eventually be overrun by Section 31 operatives. Or he could go with Kirk, who was offering him - of all things - revenge.

"If I do not go with you, you will die here with me," Khan finally said quietly. It was not a question and he did not even need to look at Kirk to know it was true. He could feel the young man's determination. His anger at Khan and disgust at what he had done was overshadowed by the outrage Kirk felt at those who'd committed these crimes against Khan's people. And underneath it all was Kirk's worry for him, and that other emotion, so faint, yet unmistakable.

 _"My crew is my family. Is there anything you would not do for your family?"_ He'd once asked that of Kirk. Perhaps Kirk did know what that meant after all.

Khan turned to the doorway again and quickly strode towards it.

"Wait!" Kirk yelled, but Khan ignored him. Khan quickly activated the controls to shut the door and then punched through the wall to tear out the circuits that would open it from either side.

"They're coming," Khan explained. A few moments later came the sounds of shouting and several loud bangs on the other side of the door. It probably wouldn't take long for them to force the door open. "I suggest you contact your crew now if we are to leave."

The amount of relief that he felt from the younger man was staggering. Kirk quickly grabbed the scraps of his gold shirt that remained to find the signal booster that had been attached to it, only to freeze once the device was in his hand. It didn't take Khan long to understand why. At some point, most likely when he'd struck Kirk earlier, or when he'd tackled the captain to the ground, the device had been damaged.

They were trapped.


	22. Chapter 22

How the hell were they going to get out of this?

Jim looked down at the damaged transporter signal booster in his hands with a growing sense of dismay. After all that. After he'd finally convinced Khan to return to the _Va'khen_ with him. Now they were stuck here. If only Khan hadn't ripped off his own damned signal booster before he'd gone on his bloody rampage through the damned space station...

Then it hit him.

"We need to get back to the cryotubes!" Jim announced suddenly, looking up at Khan. As understanding dawned in the elder man's eyes, determination replaced some of that dead expression, much to Jim's relief. They'd left the rest of the signal boosters they'd planned to use back in that storage room containing the cryotubes. If they could get back there, and their supplies hopefully hadn't been found, they could still beam out.

"Call your people," Khan instructed and moved out of Jim's line of sight. Hopefully the augment had a plan to get them out of this room. The loud banging on the other side of the door increased. They didn't have much time. Kirk found his communicator. Thankfully that wasn't damaged.

"Kirk to the _Va'khen._ "

 _"Captain! Are you all right?"_ Uhura's worried voice came back almost immediately.

"Fine. We ran into a bit of...trouble." Jim replied, not bothering to look towards Khan. They would deal with the consequences of what Khan had done later, once they were out of this mess. Until then, there was no point in dwelling on it. They had more immediate problems.

 _"Captain, we are unable to lock on to your signal."_ Spock's calm observance held a note of question and Jim sighed softly, realizing he wasn't going to get out of offering some kind of explanation.

"There was a... situation and our signal boosters became damaged. We're going to attempt to retrieve the undamaged ones. As soon as you can lock onto our signals again, I need you to beam us back," Jim ordered. There was a pregnant pause before Spock came back with a reply.

 _"Captain, if your presence has been detected, there is little point of the Va'khen remaining in hiding. We can leave the nebula and beam you back as soon as we are clear of the interference."_ Jim almost smacked himself for not thinking of that sooner. He almost gave Spock the order to do just that, but Khan's voice interrupted him.

"That would be unwise, Captain," the augment stated, and Jim turned to see Khan staring at the computer monitors. Their previous footage had been replaced and now showed various security feeds throughout the facility, along with a view out into space. Jim gasped when he saw the dreadnought class starship orbiting outside of the space station.

Jim almost couldn't believe his eyes. If they needed any more proof that Admiral Marcus could not have been working alone, this was definitely it. Building one ship like the _Vengeance_ without the rest of Starfleet knowing was implausible enough. But two? Maybe even more? If that wasn't bad enough, even with advanced warp capability, a ship like that couldn't have gotten here that fast...not unless they'd been waiting in a nearby sector.

"Spock, keep the _Va'khen_ in the nebula." The _Vengeance_ had torn apart the _Enterprise_ in minutes; the _Va'khen_ would probably be destroyed in one shot if his crew tried to come after them.

_"Captain?"_

"There's a dreadnought here. Keep the _Va'khen_ inside the nebula. That's an order. Wait for our signal," Jim ordered firmly. There was another long pause before Spock answered.

_"Understood, Captain."_

Jim gave a small sigh, though his feelings of relief were short-lived. The idea that Section 31 had been waiting for them... Had it been a trap all along? Had Carol...? No, no he could not believe that. No matter what Khan said, Carol wouldn't have betrayed them. But now it didn't really matter how it had happened; the trap had been sprung, and they had to get out of it somehow.

"I hope you have an idea-" Jim was cut off by a loud bang, this time from inside the room. He turned to Khan as the augment kicked at the floor a second time, causing a dent in the metal seam, then knelt down. Jim could only gape as the screeching sound of tearing metal filled the room as Khan literally ripped up the floor, making an opening big enough for them to fit through.

"Time to go, Captain," Khan said as he strode over and hauled Jim to his feet. Jim bit back a cry of pain, but he didn't complain about the manhandling. Khan supported him as they moved over to the hole and Jim looked down. That...was not a short drop. It was going to hurt.

He looked at Khan and the augment looked back at him. Jim took a deep breath and nodded. Khan helped lower him down as much as possible to shorten the distance. Jim heard the sound of tearing metal again, this time from the doorway, as Section 31 agents began to force their way through into the monitoring room. Khan let him go and Jim dropped down.

In spite of himself, Jim cried out as he landed, his leg immediately buckling beneath him and he sprawled on the floor in an undignified heap, clutching his wounded thigh. Jim heard the sound of phaser fire, and he forced his eyes open to stare up towards the hole above.

"Khan..."

It was several painful moments before Khan finally dropped down through the hole to land in a crouch beside him, the augment seemingly unfazed by the long fall. Jim didn't have time to say anything before the augment was hauling him to his feet again.

"Move!" Khan ordered, and then they were running.

* * *

The young man stumbled and would have fallen to the floor had Khan not been holding onto him.

"Get up!" Khan yelled, ignoring the other man's cry of pain. When Kirk refused to move on his own, Khan simply dragged the younger man back to his feet and forced him to continue running despite the pain. He offered no sympathy as it would do Kirk no good anyway.

"You're such a bastard," Kirk muttered and Khan snorted softly. At least the young man still had his spirit, even if everything else was flagging. His strength was literally draining out of him along with his life.

Khan barely managed to throw them both around a corner before the Section 31 operatives caught up with them and opened fire. His own body held Kirk in place as he returned fire. He managed to kill one of the men pursing them with a shot to the chest and wounded another before they took cover as well.

Kirk was not going to make it.

The realization flickered through his mind before he could stop it. Khan could hear it in the younger man's labored breaths. He could feel it in the fine tremors that racked the captain's frame as his body began to slip into shock. Kirk was growing weaker with every step he took, stumbling more frequently and requiring increasing support from Khan. Despite his best efforts, the captain was losing too much blood too quickly. In truth, Khan was surprised that the young man had lasted this long.

If they'd had time, Khan would have tried to give the young man some of his blood to aid him, but there was none. The Section 31 operatives were well armed, well trained, and there were too many of them, closing in from all sides. Khan had _warned_ Kirk that this was most likely a trap... but he could not blame the young captain for this. Kirk had given him the option to leave without investigating the space station. Khan had made his choice.

And look where it had led him?

Khan forced those thoughts away ruthlessly. He would have time to mourn the fate of his family later. Right now his only concern was making sure that Kirk did not share the same fate. Khan pushed away from the wall, pulling Kirk with him, only to have the young man fall again. But before he could growl at the captain to keep moving, Kirk's words made him freeze.

"Go. Just go." Kirk's eyes were still lucid enough to show that the young man knew what he was saying, despite the pain he was in. He was telling Khan to leave him behind. Kirk accepted that he would die, but was willing to do so in order to give Khan the chance to escape. Without Kirk slowing him down. The young man believed he was nothing more than a burden.

Idiot.

Why did Kirk think he was doing all of this? Merely to ensure his chance at revenge? Khan's quest for vengeance so far had brought him nothing but more pain and suffering. He was tired. So very tired. If he had been here alone, he would have gladly remained and fought to the death, to finally join his people, or if his capture seemed imminent, he would have simply killed himself to prevent it. But he was not here alone. Kirk trusted him to get them out of here. The stupid boy had somehow gone from enemy to comrade, a brother-in-arms, a man who would fight and die beside Khan, rather than abandon him. Who unwisely felt the need to protect Khan, of all things.

Khan had failed to save his people. He would not fail to save Kirk.

Khan shook his head and swiftly hauled the young man over his shoulder, something he probably should have done from the beginning. It allowed them to move faster, but unfortunately would restrict his ability to fight. If he could stay ahead of their pursuers, hopefully that restriction would not be an issue.

Khan ran as fast as he was able. He could hear them, feel them approaching. But they were nearing the storage area they needed. If they could just get inside...

Unfortunately, more fire erupted behind them sooner than Khan expected. One of the phaser bolts hit him squarely in the back and Khan didn't even have time to cry out in pain or wonder if Kirk had been hit as well, before his legs completely lost feeling. He barely felt himself falling, letting go of Kirk in the process. He hit the unforgiving floor hard and lost his grip on his phaser as well. Darkness quickly rose up to swallow him despite how he fought to cling to consciousness.

No, he could not fail again.

No...

* * *

"No..." Jim moaned, trying to force his uncooperative body to move towards the other man. Their pursuers, knowing that they had won, were closing in fast now. Jim tried to crawl towards the phaser that the other man had dropped when he went down. If he could reach it, maybe he could at least take a few of the bastards down with them.

Before he could touch it though, the phaser was kicked away and a boot roughly came down on Jim's hand, breaking several bones and making him cry out again. Laughter followed and the booted foot ground down harder on his hand. Jim gritted his teeth, refusing to give them the pleasure of further sounds of distress. Jim glanced over at the other man lying on the floor. He still hadn't moved. Was he even alive?

"Khan..." Jim whispered and then moaned in spite of himself when he was kicked in the stomach and roughly forced onto his back. A boot on his chest made it hard to breathe and kept him from moving. He looked up at the men surrounding him. One of them had a phaser pointed directly at his face.

This was all Jim's fault. If he'd only listened...

_"... you're going to get yourself and everyone under your command killed."_

Pike's words came back to him and Jim almost choked on the sob that welled up in his throat.

Jim closed his eyes, waiting for the shot that would end his life.

The phaser fired and Jim flinched. Then he realized that he shouldn't be able to flinch if he was dead. Jim's eyes snapped open as the man who'd been pointing the phaser at him fell down dead. More phaser fire erupted down the hall. Jim turned his head, his eyes wide with shock to see Spock, Uhura, Scotty, and Bones trading fire with the Section 31 operatives who were all but ignoring Jim and Khan, now that they had bigger things to worry about.

Jim crawled over to Khan's unmoving body. Fear made his heart beat a painful rhythm against his ribs as he frantically searched for a pulse at the elder man's neck. When he found it, weak but there, Jim's breath rushed out of him in relief, though they certainly weren't out of the woods yet. Without any other options, Jim shielded the other man's body with his own as best he could until the phaser fire finally died down. Jim dared to look up and hope swelled inside of him as his crew rushed over to him, even though he still didn't quite believe it.

"Jim!" Bones shouted, and immediately dropped down beside him to examine the fallen men. Jim ignored the doctor for a moment however, instead looking to Spock with wide eyes.

"How-?"

It was Scotty that answered however.

"The same way ye got on Khan's shuttle, which I might add, was a bloody insane stunt to begin with!" Jim couldn't really blame him for shouting. Jim's transporting to the shuttle from inside the nebula had been near suicidal, and that had been a relatively short distance. But transporting from the nebula to the space station?

"You shouldn't have-" Jim tried, but it was Uhura who cut him off next.

"We all knew the risks, Captain," she said firmly. Bones jumped in before anyone else could join the argument.

"Can we finish this on the ship? I need to get you and Khan to the medbay before you both bleed out right here!" He injected Jim with a hypo and, as Jim had promised himself, he didn't even complain this time.

"Khan's crew?" Spock asked, looking to Jim for confirmation. Jim shook his head, and the Vulcan nodded in understanding. Jim watched as Bones moved to treat Khan as well. Spock handed Jim a transporter signal booster before contacting the ship.

"Spock to the _Va'khen_. Six to beam up."

Jim's eyes never strayed from Khan, even as the golden transporter beam swirled around them all.


	23. Chapter 23

Pain woke him with startling efficiency.

The intensity of it had Khan crying out in spite of himself, and he immediately began to fight against the hands restraining him. His last memories were of agony, the smell of burning flesh, and the feeling of utter failure. He could only assume the fact that he was waking up at all and not dead, meant he had been recaptured. That he was once more a prisoner of those whose only goal was to use him in one way or another. Something he had vowed he would never allow again.

His first - his only - instinct was to fight. He lashed out with a near inhuman growl of rage and heard a crash and a grunt of pain. It was satisfying, though he would much rather hear the sound of crunching bone and the dying screams of those who dared to lay their hands on him again...

He heard a shout. "For the love of god, let him go, just let him go!" The voice was familiar, but Khan was unwilling to trust his own senses. Surprisingly however, the hands that had been attempting to restrain him suddenly released him. Khan did not waste the opportunity and lurched off of the surface he'd been lying on - a bed - and attempted to run, only to have his legs buckle beneath him, weak and nearly useless.

It didn't stop him from crawling away, using mostly his arms, the numbness in his lower extremities only adding to the confusion and panic he felt. He finally backed into a wall, and the pain made him flinch and cry out again, before he clamped his jaw tightly shut.

"Khan? Khan, it's all right..."

"Jim! Get back into bed, now!"

"Just give me a minute, damn it!"

He heard the voices echoing as though from a great distance through a thick fog; familiar, yet indistinct, all but drowned out by the pain. Fear and anger, thick as tar, coated everything, hot and burning, and impossible to escape from. It tasted like blood in the back of his throat. Pain. Fear. Loss... Incredible, unimaginable, aching loss...

Gone. They were all gone. He was alone.

A scream began to well up in his throat in spite of himself.

"Khan!"

"Jim, don't!"

The voice was much closer now. Hands, surprisingly strong, framed his face. Grounding. Feelings, not his own, began to push through: concern, familiar, guiding. Like a lighthouse in the middle of a stormy sea.

"That's it. You're safe..."

"Kirk..." The single syllable was rough, catching in his throat like jagged glass. Khan blinked and some of the fog began to lift.

"There you are." The young captain's visage swam into focus. He looked wan, tense, and the small smile he offered Khan was strained. Beyond Kirk, Dr. McCoy hovered, looking as agitated as Khan had ever seen him. There was a spectacular bruise beginning to form on his jaw. The Scotsman also stood nearby. He already had a fairly large bruise on his forehead from where Khan had knocked him unconscious before, and now seemed to have a black eye to match it. The man did not look pleased.

Khan shifted and groaned at the intense pain that shot through his back.

"For god sake, don't move," Kirk said urgently, then turned to the two men behind him. "Get him back on the bed."

The two other men moved to comply, but they never got the chance, as at that moment the entire ship rocked, nearly sending the doctor and engineer sprawling. Kirk fell into Khan and both men groaned in discomfort from the jostling.

"What is happening?" Khan asked, thankfully far more lucid now.

Kirk moved away, his expression deeply troubled.

"It didn't take long for the dreadnought to figure out where we were hiding. They've followed us into the nebula. If we try to warp..." The captain didn't need to finish explaining; Khan knew quite well the capabilities of the dreadnought and what would happen to the small Vulcan vessel. He had designed the ships, after all.

Kirk grabbed onto a nearby biobed and used it to haul himself to his feet. The young man was still covered in his own blood and he looked even worse standing up and swaying, even as he clutched at the rail on the biobed for support.

"I need to get to the bridge..." Kirk began, but Dr. McCoy immediately cut the young captain off.

"No way in hell, Jim! I barely managed to stop the bleeding, and you can't even stand, for god's sake! You could go into shock, or cardiac arrest, or-" The doctor continued to protest but Kirk interrupted the elder man's tirade.

"None of that is going to matter if the ship is blown up, Bones! I need to be..." But the young man didn't get the chance to finish as he suddenly swooned and would have crashed to the floor if not for the doctor's quick reflexes. As he watched McCoy drag the unresisting captain towards one of the empty biobeds, Khan made a decision. Using the wall behind him, he forced his uncooperative legs into action. He still had very little feeling in his lower body, but he had regained some measure of motor control at least.

"Take me to the bridge," Khan ordered as he dragged himself to his feet.

"Not you, too!" The engineer shouted when he saw what Khan was doing, and to his surprise, Mr. Scott rushed over to him to offer his support before Khan's legs could give out and send him painfully back to the floor.

"Oh no. Not in this lifetime," McCoy growled angrily. "Get him to one of the biobeds," he instructed the Scotsman, then addressed his patients, "And if either of you tries to get up again, I'll sedate you into next week!" The doctor threatened, yet unlike Kirk, Khan was strong enough to resist the engineer's efforts.

"The captain is right. None of this will matter if the dreadnought manages to destroy this vessel. I designed those ships. I'm the only one who knows their capabilities. Take me to the bridge!" Khan demanded, his voice as strong and commanding as it had ever been despite his body's weaknesses.

"Do it," came Kirk's voice weakly from the bed.

"Jim!" The doctor looked askance. "He's nearly paralyzed!"

"He's right. He knows that ship. If he stays here, we could all die. Spock is going to need his help. Take him to the bridge, Scotty." The engineer looked reluctant, but he eventually nodded in ascent.

"Aye, sir."

Before either man could move, Kirk spoke again.

"Khan." Khan looked over to the captain, but in the end, Kirk said nothing. He didn't need to. Khan could read everything that the captain wanted to say in his expression and in the feelings that the captain was projecting. Concern. Fear. But above all, trust...

Khan gave the younger man a nod.

But, perhaps Kirk was misplacing his trust in Khan, yet again. Everyone whom Khan had tried to save instead ended up dead. Kirk and his crew might just be the next on a very long list of those who Khan had failed... But if there was one thing that Khan _did_ know how to do well, it was kill.

If nothing else, they would not go down without a fight.

* * *

The _Va'khen_ rocked as another photon torpedo nearly hit them. At present, the dreadnought seemed to just be firing at random into the nebula, perhaps hoping to flush out their ship, or to hit them by luck. Under normal circumstances the chances of that happening would be low, but given the amount of firepower that the dreadnought possessed, they had come close several times already, and could come closer still.

So far the dreadnought's sensors seemed to be as inoperable as the _Va'khen_ 's due to the high amounts of static discharge within the nebula's clouds. However, if the dreadnought managed to locate them by direct line of sight, Spock estimated their chances of survival would be very small indeed. Point one percent, at best.

When the door to the turbolift opened, Spock's eyebrows rose in surprise to see Montgomery Scott enter the bridge supporting an extremely pale and unsteady Khan. The last time Spock had seen the augment, he had been deeply unconscious in the medbay while Dr. McCoy worked frantically to stem the bleeding from the large phaser wound in the augment's back. While Khan was now conscious and had thick white bandages wrapped around his otherwise unclothed upper body, he still looked far from well.

"You should be in the medbay," Spock stated plainly as he rose from the captain's chair. Another shockwave from the dreadnought's weapons shook the ship, though at least it was not close enough to send them all falling to the floor this time.

"I am here to make sure we get out of this alive." Khan's voice was weak, but steady. Spock looked to Mr. Scott who simply shrugged.

"Captain's orders." Even with the chief engineer's confirmation, Spock could barely believe it. He could believe even less that Dr. McCoy had allowed this. Then again, given how dire the situation was...

Khan did not wait for Spock's reply, pulling away from the chief engineer and all but falling into the captain's chair. Spock's eyebrows rose yet again, this time at the augment's sheer audacity. But then again, given Khan's injured state and the situation, perhaps protesting the augment's choice of seating was not the most prudent option right now.

"What is the ship's status?" Khan asked.

"We've taken no damage. Only a few close calls. There is too much static interference for our sensors to function properly. Our shields are non-operational as well," Sulu answered professionally, despite the fact that he wore a displeased scowl when he turned to Khan sitting in their captain's chair.

"The sensors on the dreadnought will be experiencing the same interference, as will their shields. However that will not give us much of an advantage as the hull's armor is more than capable of withstanding any damage this vessel is capable of producing," Khan stated matter-of-factly. "Presently, our only real advantage is size."

"Are you crazy? That monster of a ship is nearly ten times our size!" Mr. Scott protested, but it was Spock who replied.

"Our smaller size will make it much more difficult for the dreadnought to see us before we see them."

Khan gave a nod.

"We cannot overpower that ship and we certainly cannot outrun it. At least, not without disabling it first," Khan said.

Chekov looked to him hopefully.

"Do you have a plan?" the young ensign asked, and suddenly every one of them was looking to Khan. It was something the Vulcan had certainly never expected to see. But in order to survive, they were all willing to cooperate with their one-time foe.

"Give me a tactical analysis of their maneuvers thus far. I want to see if there is a pattern to their current strategy," Khan ordered, and the Vulcan immediately moved to comply. Meanwhile Khan typed a series of commands into the console of the captain's chair at lightning speed. Within moments a blueprint of the _USS Vengeance_ appeared on the main viewscreen.

It was credit to the professionalism of Kirk's crew that none of them questioned how he'd acquired such information.

"The ship is designed to run with a minimal crew from the bridge. One if necessary, including navigation, propulsion, and weapons. Unfortunately, a direct attack on the bridge will do little damage due to the protective armor plating." Khan began listing the specifications of the ship that he had helped create, and pointing them out on the blueprint.

"The ship is equipped with multidimensional radar and space-region observer systems, however both will be largely inoperable from within the nebula. Their weapons include advanced phaser emitters and swivel mounted torpedo launchers, deployed from underneath the saucer section. The ship also has a complement of drones capable of firing torpedoes before crashing into their target. However, the guidance and tracking systems for the torpedoes and drones will also be ineffective."

'Monster' was not such an inexact description of the dreadnought; it was far superior to even a constitution-class starship, and their vessel was merely a Vulcan research craft. Minimal weapons. Minimal shields. Against a ship Khan himself had designed to be more powerful than anything yet designed by Starfleet. It was a true 'David and Goliath' scenario, if Khan had ever seen one.

But in that old Earth story, it had not been the giant who had been victorious. Everything - everyone - had a weakness. Pride. That was certainly one of Khan's greatest. What had the old Vulcan Spock told him? His arrogance and desire for revenge had once been his undoing...

"Tactical analysis completed. Displaying on screen," Spock stated, and Khan intently examined the display, trusting the Vulcan's calculations to be accurate despite the lack of proper tracking available. What he saw almost made him smile, a memory flickering in the back of his mind to one of the first times he and Kirk had played chess together.

_"Do you know what your problem is?" Kirk asked._

_Khan looked up from his examination of the tri-dimensional chessboard to scowl at the younger man._

_"You need to start thinking three-dimensionally," the captain continued, not waiting for his answer. Instead, he moved one of his pieces from an upper tier to place Khan's king into check yet again. "In space combat, there is no up or down and gravity doesn't mean the same thing as it does on a planet's surface. It's all a matter of perspective."_

_Khan examined the tri-dimensional board again and understood what Kirk was trying to tell him, though the young captain would regret offering this 'advice' in all of their future games._

"I designed the dreadnought's weapons systems to be most effective during a frontal or rear assault," Khan stated with no small amount of satisfaction. He had never been so pleased to point out one of his own mistakes before. "The ship is vulnerable to attack from above."

Spock quickly re-examined his own data.

"Full stop, Mr. Sulu," the Vulcan ordered.

"Full stop, sir, aye."

"Z plus ten thousand meters."

As the helmsman quickly made the adjustments, Khan turned to the young navigation officer.

"Man the weapons console, Mr. Chekov," Khan ordered. The young man's eyes widened in surprise.

"Sir?"

"When we have a visual, fire here and here." Khan pointed out two locations in the engineering section of the dreadnought. "A precise shot at these locations will disable their warp drive."

The young man looked uncertain. "Our weapons lock will be inoperative, sir."

"You'll have to use your best guess then, Mr. Chekov," Khan instructed. Clearly he had confidence in the ensign's abilities. The young man nodded.

"Yes, sir."

Spock could not deny that he was impressed with the way Khan issued the orders to execute their plan. Another might have had objections to the easy way Khan had taken command of the situation. But as Spock was a Vulcan, he had no pride to wound and the plan was logical.

"Sporadic energy readings port side aft. Could be an impulse turn," the Vulcan observed.

"Adjust our heading, Mr. Sulu," Khan ordered.

"Aye, sir."

Then suddenly the static-filled viewscreen displayed the large darkened shape of the dreadnought hunting them.

"Fire torpedoes, Mr. Chekov. Prepare to engage warp as soon as detonation is confirmed."

The torpedoes were away, and Spock concentrated on his monitor intently.

"Detonation confirmed on target," Spock announced, though any elation among the crew was short-lived with his next observance. "Dreadnought is returning fire."

"Evasive maneuvers!"

The ship pitched sharply to the side to avoid the phaser blasts, however one grazed the _Va'khen_ 's hull, causing the entire vessel to shake violently. A shower of sparks erupted from several consoles, and alarms began to blare. The ship's diagnostics began to announce the systems that had been damaged.

"Warp now, Mr. Sulu!" Khan shouted.

Though damaged, the ship's engines lurched to life as they launched into warp speed. Mr. Scott immediately ran for the turbolift, most likely to assess the damage that had been done in engineering and to begin repairs.

"Any sign of pursuit?" Khan asked.

"No sir," Sulu stated with no small amount of relief.

Khan nodded, then much to Spock's surprise, began to pitch forward. The Vulcan barely had time to catch the augment, even with his quick reflexes. Nyota gasped sharply beside him and Spock understood why when he looked to the captain's chair and saw the large amount of blood staining the back of it.

"Call Dr. McCoy!" Spock ordered sharply as he gently lowered the unconscious augment to the floor.

* * *

Jim awoke sometime later in the medbay, groggy from the painkillers Bones was no doubt pumping into his system. Given how sore he felt even with the drugs, he was grateful for it.

However, as the haze of sleep slipped away and his memories returned, Jim sat up abruptly with a burst of adrenaline. As though the doctor had a sixth sense about such things, Bones was immediately there, easing Jim back down, a hypo at the ready in case he didn't comply willingly.

"Take it easy, Jim. The universe doesn't need saving right this second," the doctor joked half-heartedly.

"The ship? Out of danger?" Jim asked.

"Yes, we managed to escape from the nebula after disabling the dreadnought's warp systems. Turns out you were right; Khan saved the ship. Bastard nearly bled out on the bridge to do it..."

"Is he all right?" Jim asked, half-panicked. Even if it had worked, f Khan had died because Jim had let him leave the medbay...

"I said _nearly_ , Jim," the doctor clarified. Jim could tell that Bones still wasn't pleased at all about Khan having left his care in the first place, even if the situation had demanded it. "He's fine. Or at least, he will be. If he were anyone else, he'd be paralyzed for life. But the damage to his spine is healing, and the nerves are regenerating rapidly. He'll most likely recover all function in his lower body."

Jim let out a sigh of relief and Bones moved out of the way to show Khan resting on his front, facing away from Jim in another one of the biobeds. Even from here, Jim could see that the monitors indicated that the augment's vitals all within safe ranges.

"He's sedated," McCoy continued, "rest is the best medicine for him right now."

Bones gave him a look that clearly said he expected Jim to be doing the exact same thing.

"Actually, I'm a little hungry. How about some food? I'll go right back to bed afterwards, Mom, I promise," Jim joked, giving the doctor a lopsided grin. Bones merely rolled his eyes and sighed.

"All right, fine," his friend relented with a gruff sigh before turning to leave. Jim barely wasted the few seconds after the door slid closed behind the doctor before throwing aside his bedding and standing on shaky legs. Damn, that hurt. Thankfully, he didn't plan on going very far. Jim half-stumbled, half-limped over to Khan's biobed.

"I know you're awake," Jim said softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. To his credit, Khan didn't even bother pretending, merely let out a weary sigh.

"What do you want, Kirk?" The augment demanded, though there was no real...well, anything in his tone. Khan could have been completely lifeless for all the emotion he expressed. He did not even turn his head to look at Jim.

"I...just wanted to thank you. You saved my ship, my crew," Jim said softly. He wished the augment would at least look at him. He was worried about Khan; even if he would recover physically, mentally...

"Do you think that matters to me?" Khan asked, again without emotion. Even anger would have been preferable.

Jim sighed.

"Maybe not," he replied, reaching out to run his fingers tenderly through Khan's hair and along the back of his neck. He felt Khan tense under the touch, but Jim didn't pull away. "But it matters to me."

Jim allowed his touch to linger until he knew if he didn't get back to his own bed before Bones got back, he'd never hear the end of it. He reluctantly stood and limped back. Khan still didn't look at him, or give any sign he was still awake, even when Bones returned with the food.

Jim ate, and when he was done, Bones made good on his threat to sedate him because he 'knew Jim too well' and didn't want to chase him around the ship when he should be resting. Jim would have liked to complain, but the hypo that the doctor used had worked fast, and already his eyes were starting to slip closed.

But before he succumbed to sleep, he looked over towards Khan's biobed one last time and could have sworn he saw Khan's blue eyes looking back at him.


	24. Chapter 24

It had been three days since the events of Regula I and their battle against the dreadnought in the Mutara Nebula. The ship was currently in orbit around a planet several sectors away. The culture of the humanoid sentient species of the planet was early industrial, pre-space travel, and had little in the way of natural resources that would interest the Federation. It was as good a place as any to hide from the watchful eyes of Starfleet and acquire supplies for repairs.

All things considered, the _Va'khen_ had escaped with relatively minor damage. There had been a few hull breeches, but the emergency force fields had kicked in the moment they had warped out of the nebula. Thankfully, no one had been in any of the areas that had depressurized before that had happened. There was damage to the shields and weapons systems, which Scotty and Chekov had been working diligently to repair.

Dr. McCoy had released Jim from the medbay several hours ago with strict orders to take it easy. Jim still walked with a limp and probably would for a few more days, but other than that, he had recovered from his most recent brush with death. Jim wished he could say the same for all of them.

Khan...

Physically, the augment was recovering well, Bones had reassured him. The damage to his spine had repaired itself in a matter of days. As far as McCoy could tell, there was no permanent nerve damage, no numbness, pain, or weakness in Khan's back or lower body. While the augment still had a rather large scar from the phaser wound, even that was fading quickly and would likely disappear completely in another week or so.

That was not what worried Jim. What worried Jim was Khan's state of mind. As he'd feared, Khan was not dealing well with what they had discovered on Regula I: the empty cryotubes, the video recordings showing the man's crew being experimented on and tortured. Jim desperately wanted to give him some kind of hope. They didn't know for sure that all of Khan's crew had been killed. They hadn't found any bodies... But then again, they hadn't had much time to look after Khan had lost it and gone on a killing spree.

His crew's reaction to hearing what had transpired on the space station was about what Jim had expected. There were mixed feelings of horror, disgust, and even fear. Jim couldn't exactly blame them. Though they had worked surprisingly well with Khan in a crisis, it was understandable they'd feel uneasy around the augment, given what he was capable of. Especially when they could not even properly confine Khan, now that the cell in the brig was destroyed.

What if Khan 'lost his mind' again, and this time his crew were the ones being torn to pieces by the insane augment?

Jim wished he could say something to alleviate their fears, but Khan's mental state had only seemed to grow worse during the past several days. The augment hadn't spoken to anyone, not even Jim, since that first night in the medbay. Khan refused to eat or drink anything given to him, and only slept when McCoy dosed him with enough sedatives to knock out an Algorian Mammoth. The rest of the time he simply lay in bed, staring at nothing with dead eyes that sent shivers down Jim's spine.

 _"Just give him some time, Jim. He's been through a lot."_ Bones had tried to reassure him, but Jim had a hard time believing it. Especially when he could see the same doubt in the doctor's eyes as well.

Jim wished there was something he could do, something he could say, to give Khan some hope. But he wasn't sure if that would only be more cruel at this point; Khan had been given hope so many times, only to have it torn away on each occasion. But Jim couldn't just let the man...shut down...

The young captain sighed heavily, staring up at the starlight that filtered in through the window in his dark quarters. How did you give a man who had nothing left to live for a reason to live?

* * *

It was the middle of gamma shift when Jim startled awake. The way his heart was beating so fast in his chest, he'd thought at first it had been a dream that had woken him. In the last several weeks, he'd certainly experienced enough horrors to give him nightmares for the rest of his life.

But when he saw a shadow move through the gloom of his quarters he realized it had not been a dream.

"Shit!" Jim muttered, already scrambling for the phaser he'd recently started keeping on the table next to his bed. Before Jim could get the weapon in hand however, a voice spoke from the darkness making the young man freeze.

"Don't be alarmed, Kirk."

"Khan?" Jim started to wonder if this might just be a dream after all. The augment stepped into the silvery starlight spilling in through the window, confirming his identity. "How did you get in here?" Or perhaps the better question would be how had Khan gotten out of the medbay during McCoy's watch.

"Dr. McCoy should keep closer eye on his supply of sedatives," Khan replied, and Jim's mouth opened and closed a few times in disbelief before he laughed in spite of himself.

"Bones is going to kill you when he wakes up," Jim admonished, though he couldn't quite keep the grin off of his face. Might serve the doctor right to get a literal taste of his own medicine after all the times he'd knocked Jim out to keep him out of trouble.

Khan merely shrugged, and Jim sobered quickly.

"What are you doing here?" Jim asked in confusion, though he was pleased to see Khan was actually walking around and speaking again, instead of lying in a biobed staring blankly at the ceiling. That had to be good, right? Though, Jim began to reevaluate his opinion when Khan approached and pulled his shirt off over his head in one smooth motion.

Jim's mouth went dry and his brain stuttered to a halt as his eyes roamed down the smooth pale chest. Starlight and shadow created a truly impressive display of the slim, but highly toned muscles as Khan moved with a predatory grace. The young captain began to wonder yet again if he was still dreaming.

When Khan's fingers moved to the fastenings on his trousers, Jim's brain finally kicked back into gear.

"Wait! What are you...?" Khan didn't give him a chance to finish as he quickly knelt down on Jim's bed, throwing his leg over Jim's and shoving the young man back with a firm hand against the middle of his chest. All the air in Jim's lungs escaped in a rush and the skin where Khan touched him practically burned. "What are you doing?" he squeaked.

"Come now, a man with your reputation? I didn't think an explanation would be necessary, Captain..." Khan's voice was a sensual purr and Jim felt his entire body flush with arousal. Khan groaned low in the back of his throat, and in the dim light Jim saw his pale eyes dilate, pupils now so large, barely a sliver if icy blue remained. Then suddenly Khan was all but attacking him. His mouth crushed Jim's, hungry and desperate. The elder man's tongue forced its way into his mouth, slick and hot, and Jim felt helpless under the assault. He couldn't contain the obscene sounds of pleasure Khan coaxed from him, couldn't stop his hands from reaching up to grasp the augment's hips, desperate for something to hold onto. Khan rolled his hips down against him and Jim almost choked on his own tongue at the unexpected jolt of pleasure that shot through him.

All the while, in the back of his mind red flags were waving like crazy.

It felt like an eternity before Khan stopped kissing him long enough for Jim to take a gasping breath. After he did, Khan attempted to claim his lips again, but Jim jerked his head to the side. Not the least bit deterred, Khan's mouth latched onto Jim's neck instead, sucking and biting on the sensitive skin, making the young man whimper.

"Wait... S-stop..." Jim finally managed to stutter, but his protestation was weak.

"If you claim not to want this, I'll know you are lying," Khan whispered against his ear before rolling his hips against Jim's again. Even through Jim's sleep pants, the covers, and Khan's trousers, Jim could feel his erection. Jim's own hardness throbbed, painfully obvious that he was not unaffected by Khan's attempts at seduction.

Yet despite how much his body definitely wanted what Khan was offering, Jim couldn't get the memory of those empty death-like eyes of the past several days out of his mind. So different from the gaze Khan leveled on him now, full of unmistakable lust and practically drunk on arousal...

Realization doused Jim like a bucket of ice water. Khan didn't just 'know' he wanted this, he could _feel_ it! He could feel Jim's emotions. This wasn't Khan's excitement he was seeing in the augment's eyes, it was his own reflected back at him. Filled with a sudden sense of horror, Jim shoved hard at the augment's chest.

"I said stop!" he yelled, and Khan finally listened. The augment reeled back and blinked as though coming out of a daze. As Khan's senses returned, he frowned down at Jim.

"What are you doing?" he demanded, and Jim's mouth opened and closed a few times before he managed to say anything intelligent.

"What am I doing? You're the one who came in here..." Jim began, but Khan swiftly shook his head and cut him off.

"I know that you want this. I have known it for some time," Khan stated plainly.

"That-that's not the point!" Jim practically shouted, he wanted to move, to put some distance between them, but the augment was still sitting on his legs and didn't seem inclined to move any time soon, despite Jim's objections. " _You_ don't want this."

Khan's expression hardened abruptly.

"Do not presume to tell me what I want." The augment's low growl was a clear warning, and Jim felt himself flush in spite of himself. If possible Khan was now even more enticing, glaring down at Jim, half-naked and straddling his lap. The all-too-smug look the elder man gave him next only made Jim flush more, but he couldn't just...let this happen. Khan wasn't behaving like himself, and if Jim took advantage...

The thought was more than sobering, as Jim tried to reason with the man yet again.

"Khan, listen. I can't even...imagine what you must be feeling right now. But this...isn't going to help. I can't do this... We can't do this," Jim insisted. Khan's expression darkened again and Jim felt fear prickle along the edges of his mind. What if Khan didn't listen? What if he...

"Do you really think that I would rape you, Kirk?" Khan asked him abruptly, the blunt question shocking Kirk into silence, but at least the augment finally moved. He climbed off Jim to sit on the edge of the bed, instead hunched over and holding his head in his hands. For a few moments Jim wasn't sure what to do. He was glad for the space to allow him to clear his head, but...

Jim sighed softly and sat up. He moved closer to Khan and reached out to touch his back, but Khan flinched away before Jim could, and the captain pulled his hand back as if burned.

"I'm sorry..." Jim started to apologize, but Khan cut him off.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Know what?" Jim asked, confused by the sudden change in topic.

"What I am feeling. Do you really want to know?" Khan asked again. Jim wasn't sure how to answer. He hadn't exactly been expecting this. Any of this. But if Khan was willing to talk to him, no matter what the circumstances...

"Yes."

Khan straightened, turned towards Jim, and lifted his hand. Jim frowned in confusion but he didn't pull away when the augment brought his fingers close to his face. The gesture reminded Jim of another, a long time ago, when the elder Spock had... Realization dawned a split second before Khan touched his face, and Jim found himself suddenly drowning in feelings that were not his own.

Pain... So much crippling agony... Loss, the likes of which Jim had never before experienced. His own experiences - the loss of a father he'd never known; practically being abandoned by his mother who could not look at him without a shadow of sadness in her eyes; Admiral Pike's lifeless eyes staring up at him; dying, afraid and alone in the warp core, despite Spock's presence on the other side of the glass - were nothing compared to what he felt from Khan now. It only lasted for a few seconds. But it felt like an eternity.

All of a sudden, it was over and Jim slumped, gasping and shaking against the elder man.

"Oh my god." Jim's voice came out as a rough, barely audible croak. There were tears on his face, but he didn't bother to wipe them away. "How...? How do you even...?"

Jim didn't dare finish the sentence, he wasn't sure he wanted to know. Especially when he'd felt so clearly how badly Khan wished to die. To join his family...

"Do you understand now why I would want to feel something - anything - other than this?" Khan whispered, and Jim gave a small nod. His forehead came to rest on Khan's bare shoulder and he took several shuddering breaths in an attempt to regain some measure of composure. To his surprise, he felt Khan's arm wind around him. Strong but gentle fingers moved up his back and massaged gently at the base of his neck. Jim wrapped his arms around Khan's waist.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered, and he felt Khan shake his head.

"Don't." The augment's tone was firm but not unkind. Jim nodded in understanding. He wasn't sure how long they remained that way. Eventually a feeling, almost like peace, began to settle over Jim. Much like that night they had spent together in the brig.

Jim came to a decision.

Moving slowly, almost as though he were afraid of spooking a wild animal, he drew back to look at Khan. The augment's expression was blank, his eyes shadowed, his feelings once more locked tightly away. If Jim decided to tell Khan to leave now, he would go and probably never come to Jim like this again. Instead, he took Khan's hand and slowly moved back onto the bed, gently tugging to encourage the elder man into joining him. Khan raised an eyebrow but allowed it. Jim lay down and pulled Khan down with him. The other man came willingly, allowing his weight to rest half-over Jim.

"I thought this was a bad idea," Khan said. Jim slipped his arms around Khan's body, allowing one of his hands to rest at the small of his back, directly over the new scar the augment had received attempting to save his life. The other hand moved up the length of Khan's torso. Jim offered the other man a small smile.

"When is it ever a good idea?" he replied, tugging Khan down into a kiss.

* * *

"I must say, your incompetence is proving tiresome, Admiral."

"Now, see here-"

The doctor did not allow Admiral Cartwright to continue.

"This is the second time your ridiculous schemes have cost me valuable time and resources, Admiral. I will tolerate it no further, my research is far too important. From now on, I will be employing my own methods."

"Dr. Tannak!"

Tannak ended the transmission with the admiral and sat back in his chair with a sigh. Fools. Why was he surrounded by imbeciles unable to visualize the big picture? It was bad enough that his prized subject had been lost, and years' worth of research jeopardized. Now there was a foolish, rogue Starfleet captain causing trouble, and that the idiot Admiral and Section 31 were somehow _still_ unable to find and eliminate him.

At least the fool Cartwright had managed to warn him of the security breech in time to allow him to move his experiments to a more secure location. Still, these interruptions were intolerable!

The door chime to his office sounded and he perked up immediately. At last.

"Enter," he called, and turned to face his lab assistant as she entered. "Have the test results come back?"

"Yes, doctor. The blood recovered from Regula I indeed belongs to the subject in question. We were able to extract the antibodies we need to proceed with the experiment."

Tannak smiled. Perhaps Cartwright's ridiculous plan had not been a complete failure after all.

"Finally. Begin immediately," he ordered. His assistant nodded and quickly left his office. Tannak turned to face the monitors on his desk once more and instructed the computer to resume playback. The recording was from the security feeds on Regula I. It showed the subject disemboweling one of the researchers that Tannak had ordered to remain behind on the space station. Messy, but no great loss to his research team; the man had been far too sympathetic to the welfare of the subjects, and had protested Tannak's methods time and again.

The subject truly was fascinating. So much stronger than the other subjects had been. His abilities were remarkable. And to think, he had been created using scientific methods from over three hundred years ago! Now Tannak could accomplish so much more! If only he could reclaim him...

Yes, it was time to take matters into his own hands. Starfleet, Section 31... Their goals were infantile by comparison. Tannak's research would change the world - no - the entire universe! He watched as his test subject crushed a man's skull with his bare hands, and smiled.

Fascinating...


End file.
